From: amandaF on
I have been gone for some times and will probably won't be here just
because things are hectic and I have no regular schedule for posting.

Right now, it's 4:01 AM. I have been up in bed for like an 1 1/2 hr
searching info on things. need to go back to sleep but am hungry.
What's worst is that my hypoglycemia has gotten really bad and it's
hard for me to pass through the night w/o needing to eat in very early
morning (in bed). I usually keep a slice of bread and a boiled egg but
I didn't bring any last night. So, now, I must get out of bed to go
get some food but wait..i kept a power bar in my night stand draw.
thank goodness for that. I am cozy and don't wan to get up.

Sometimes, I feel so bored. It's usually after I got so stressed out
and forced to rest and then do nothing other than must do stuff daily
with a feelign that I wasted my time not accomplishing what I had my
mind set on doing before I got so stressed out. This stressed-out
period usually comes with getting sick. This last time, it was real
unfortunate. It started with food poison (from work cafeteria), in the
final exam period, i.e. the period where, once I finished, I could
just take a little break and proceed with other things (self study
and certifications) I was going to do but instead, my plan get messed
up (a little).

I kind of feel guilty to bring up about my hypoglycemia but it was a
torture for someone who doesn't want to eat to have to eat 3 meals but
now, the only type of food that makes me fel well is wheat bread or
wheat tortilla (I was using wheat pita bread but switched to tortilla
because it's just easier to make fajita to go with it; also, I was
not using pita for both lunch and dinner but now I am using tortilla
for both lunch and dinner) .
I haven't bought white rice for a long long time but made the mistake
of buying. I was making all kinds of Asian food that goes with rice
and got myself sick. I got so scared that now I don't even want see
white rice. Fear just starts rolling in my mind when I think about
rice, even brown rice.

I am not unhappy that my diet is totally restricted now. The food
items I rely on now are: wheat bread or tortilla, egg, beef, some
chicken, steamed vege (carrot, broccoli). I bought some potatoes and
was going to make beef stew but I am scared to eat potatoes. Hmm..I
forgot that I already bought sweet potatoes because i read that it is
better than potatoes when it comes to glycemic index. Yesterday, I
kind of crazed Thia food but the moment I visualized about ordering
the beef dish (at near by restaurant), I also visualized rice and
lost interest imply because I am scare of rice. I did eat some rice
last Sat at an Indian restaurant but only a little. I ate their bread
more.

i read that hypoglycemia a rare disease/condition. I know that I
should just be happy that it can be controlled by diet but I love Thai
food and it only goes with rice. I eman, I am even afraid to eat once
in a while. I think i am traumatized about eating white rice such
that I can't even think about eating brown rice. Thai restaurants do
not serve brown rice anyway. so, my main fun activity of eating out
is now limited. I do feel great eating wheat tortilla and fajita
almost every meal. So, I can't really complain. Now, back to sleeping
but first my power bar. Sigh.. I wish life can be a little more fun,
ie I don't have to eat unless I want to.