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From: jj on 6 Nov 2006 11:16
Hi Everyone,
I have several losses this year. My mother, father in law and most
recently my step son died August 28 2006. He was 28 yo and died of a
drug overdose. Because i'm a step mother I pretty much am discounted as
having any valid emotions regarding my husband's loss and his grief. I
have a lot. Not to mention my mother dying in July this year. I lost my
first husband 18 years ago from a sudden heart attack. I have some
experience with grief. But right now I am feeling a great amount of
isolation and anger. Is their a site you may be aware of that is
specific to step parents and grief?
JJ

From: Daisy on 6 Nov 2006 16:13
jj wrote:
> Hi Everyone,
> I have several losses this year. My mother, father in law and most
> recently my step son died August 28 2006. He was 28 yo and died of a
> drug overdose. Because i'm a step mother I pretty much am discounted as
> having any valid emotions regarding my husband's loss and his grief. I
> have a lot. Not to mention my mother dying in July this year. I lost my
> first husband 18 years ago from a sudden heart attack. I have some
> experience with grief. But right now I am feeling a great amount of
> isolation and anger. Is their a site you may be aware of that is
> specific to step parents and grief?
> JJ
>
I'm so sorry for your losses....I did find this newsgroup if you would
like to take a look at it:
alt.support.step-parents

Daisy
From: mybre8584 on 7 Nov 2006 19:27

jj wrote:
> Hi Everyone,
> I have several losses this year. My mother, father in law and most
> recently my step son died August 28 2006. He was 28 yo and died of a
> drug overdose. Because i'm a step mother I pretty much am discounted as
> having any valid emotions regarding my husband's loss and his grief. I
> have a lot. Not to mention my mother dying in July this year. I lost my
> first husband 18 years ago from a sudden heart attack. I have some
> experience with grief. But right now I am feeling a great amount of
> isolation and anger. Is their a site you may be aware of that is
> specific to step parents and grief?
> JJ


Hi JJ:

I too am a stepmother who lost my stepdaughter at age 19 to a
motorcycle accident. I COMPLETELY understand your feelings and how
people disregard your pain, hurt and anger in the situation. When my
daughter died I felt like I had to explain our family situation to make
people understand what I was feeling. I told them our life story, how
we had custody from the time she was 10 and I raised her. Quite
frankly, whether I raised her or not, my pain would not be different.
I grew to love her regardless of her flaws and our differences. It has
been two and half years now and it still seems like yesterday. I have
emotionally strayed away from my marriage and now I am just coming
back. My husband and I have been supportive; however both of us feel
like the other couldn't possibly understand. We have a lot of guilt
for the "normal" parental role we took while her biological mother got
to have all of the "fun" on visitation days. I would like to be able
to communicate with you. It sounds like we could really help each
other.

Caroline

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