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From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 17 Jan 2008 03:20 On Jan 9, 5:44 am, john.orthw...(a)gmail.com wrote: > Is there anyone here who is glad to wake up? I mean, we all do go > through our 24 hour periods of time one way or another, but is anyone > happy that they get to open their eyes for another day of > consciousness? Dear Friends: I am glad that there is some hope and positiveness here. However, I will never be glad to wake up and have a new day and be happy I am here. I lost my son, Joshua. I just want him back! I just want to be with him, I feel he needs me. However, my alive children need me more. My precious son died from completing suicide. I and none of his friends ever saw depression or anything like that. He left video's and journals - so there is no mistake that he intended to die. But there were no signs! He and I had a fight and I feel the guilt of the world. I will take my sorrow an grief to my grave. The only thing good about living another day, is the fact, I am one day closer to being with my son. I don't mean to be a downer - I just speak the truth from my heart. Lynn - Josh's Mom 5-25-1978 to 11-25-2005 He jumped
From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 17 Jan 2008 03:22 On Jan 9, 5:44 am, john.orthw...(a)gmail.com wrote: > Is there anyone here who is glad to wake up? I mean, we all do go > through our 24 hour periods of time one way or another, but is anyone > happy that they get to open their eyes for another day of > consciousness? And one more thing. Possibly I am sadder right now because I have been since New Years. Another year, my son Joshua, will not be part of this calendar year. Lynn - Josh's Mom
From: Genie on 17 Jan 2008 10:17 On Jan 17, 3:20 am, "Lynn - Josh's Mom" <lynn.za...(a)gmail.com> wrote: > On Jan 9, 5:44 am, john.orthw...(a)gmail.com wrote: > > > Is there anyone here who is glad to wake up? I mean, we all do go > > through our 24 hour periods of time one way or another, but is anyone > > happy that they get to open their eyes for another day of > > consciousness? > > Dear Friends: > > I am glad that there is some hope and positiveness here. However, I > will never be glad to wake up and have a new day and be happy I am > here. I lost my son, Joshua. I just want him back! I just want to be > with him, I feel he needs me. However, my alive children need me > more. > > My precious son died from completing suicide. I and none of his > friends ever saw depression or anything like that. He left video's and > journals - so there is no mistake that he intended to die. But there > were no signs! He and I had a fight and I feel the guilt of the world. > I will take my sorrow an grief to my grave. The only thing good about > living another day, is the fact, I am one day closer to being with my > son. I don't mean to be a downer - I just speak the truth from my > heart. > > Lynn - Josh's Mom > 5-25-1978 to 11-25-2005 > He jumped Lynn, we are in the same time wharp that you are, although the medical examiner stated her death accidental overdose.Our daughter was definitely addicted to Rx drugs, and while everything with her was always a drama, we can't be sure if the final mixture of drugs she took for recurring pneumonia was intentional or not. We'll never know. In some ways that is worse than knowing. One thing each of us has in common, though, with losing a child, is wondering if we hadn't done something different or better as parents to change the outcome. At least once a week I struggle with this. She'll have been gone a year on February 1st, the only day it snowed here. It snowed here ( in N. Carolina) this morning, so I can almost plan on having a rough day. But then, the sun may be out tomorrow. I wouldn't want to miss that. I have a husband and a son still alive and loving me. As we both know, life is too short to miss out on that. Genie
From: rosiesgirl on 22 Jan 2008 12:14 On Jan 17, 8:22 am, "Lynn - Josh's Mom" <lynn.za...(a)gmail.com> wrote: > On Jan 9, 5:44 am, john.orthw...(a)gmail.com wrote: > > > Is there anyone here who is glad to wake up? I mean, we all do go > > through our 24 hour periods of time one way or another, but is anyone > > happy that they get to open their eyes for another day of > > consciousness? > > And one more thing. Possibly I am sadder right now because I have been > since New Years. Another year, my son Joshua, will not be part of > this calendar year. > > Lynn - Josh's Mom Hi Lynn Just found this message group and feel compelled to reply to you. I understand your feelings completely. My son Kit died in October 06 aged 23. He took his own life. I thought that I was alone in the feelings you described. There's family left for me...hubby and 3 other sons but I feel as you do. Kit always needed me more and I worry that wherever he is he still needs me but can't reach me. I hate to think of him alone without us to help him. Everyone says that time heals...I keep waiting for the day I can wake up and be, if not happy then, ok-ish. Deb - Kits Mam [from UK]
From: Caz on 22 Jan 2008 12:32
rosiesgirl(a)gmail.com wrote: > On Jan 17, 8:22 am, "Lynn - Josh's Mom" <lynn.za...(a)gmail.com> wrote: > >> On Jan 9, 5:44 am, john.orthw...(a)gmail.com wrote: >> >> >>> Is there anyone here who is glad to wake up? I mean, we all do go >>> through our 24 hour periods of time one way or another, but is anyone >>> happy that they get to open their eyes for another day of >>> consciousness? >>> >> And one more thing. Possibly I am sadder right now because I have been >> since New Years. Another year, my son Joshua, will not be part of >> this calendar year. >> >> Lynn - Josh's Mom >> > > Hi Lynn > Just found this message group and feel compelled to reply to you. > I understand your feelings completely. My son Kit died in October 06 > aged 23. He took his own life. > I thought that I was alone in the feelings you described. > There's family left for me...hubby and 3 other sons but I feel as you > do. > Kit always needed me more and I worry that wherever he is he still > needs me but can't reach me. > I hate to think of him alone without us to help him. > Everyone says that time heals...I keep waiting for the day I can wake > up and be, if not happy then, ok-ish. > > Deb - Kits Mam [from UK] > > Hi Deb. I'm so sorry about your son. You have come to the right place, sadly there are way too many of us here, but we all understand. Best wishes. Caz. Scott's mom (also in the UK) |