forgiveness
in [Grief]
|
From: Genie on 13 Jan 2008 10:21 About five years ago my church offered a course in forgiveness during Lent. If I calculate correctly, this would have been sessions. My intentions were noble, but I think I flunked the course. One feels the way one feels. Acting on those feelings is another thing. I have honestly tried to dial down my resentments of others who have hurt me. Many of them don't even realize that they did. Punch a pillow or run a mile. And then, if that same person continues to hurt you, you can always terminate the relationship. Genie
From: Genie on 14 Jan 2008 11:29 On Jan 13, 10:21 am, Genie <coatsge...(a)nc.rr.com> wrote: > About five years ago my church offered a course in forgiveness during > Lent. If I calculate correctly, this would have been sessions. My > intentions were noble, but I think I flunked the course. > > One feels the way one feels. Acting on those feelings is another > thing. I have honestly tried to dial down my resentments of others who > have hurt me. Many of them don't even realize that they did. > > Punch a pillow or run a mile. And then, if that same person continues > to hurt you, you can always terminate the relationship. > > Genie Sorry , I omitted the number of sessions in the forgiveness course; it was ten.
From: donna on 15 Jan 2008 10:38 > > One feels the way one feels. Acting on those feelings is another > thing. I have honestly tried to dial down my resentments of others who > have hurt me. Many of them don't even realize that they did. > dear genie, wise words. we can't control what we feel but we can choose what actions, if any, we take. there have been some people who are now excluded from my life; their behavior at savannah's death have removed them from ever being close to me again. on the other hand, there are people who will have my loyalty forever. i believe tragedy brings out both the worst and best in people ... but what a cost. best, donna
From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 17 Jan 2008 03:51 On Jan 15, 9:38 am, donna <donnac...(a)hotmail.com> wrote: > > One feels the way one feels. Acting on those feelings is another > > thing. I have honestly tried to dial down my resentments of others who > > have hurt me. Many of them don't even realize that they did. > > dear genie, > > wise words. we can't control what we feel but we can choose what > actions, if any, we take. there have been some people who are now > excluded from my life; their behavior at savannah's death have removed > them from ever being close to me again. on the other hand, there are > people who will have my loyalty forever. i believe tragedy brings out > both the worst and best in people ... but what a cost. > > best, > > donna Donna: You are so right! You find out who is your true friends when you lose a child. It was amazing to me, the friends that I believed would be there for me - and weren't. Not a problem though, I am no longer the same person I was, part of my soul and heart died with my son. I have become very picky about the kind of person I am around now. They must have a true heart. Wishing you the best! Lynn - Josh's Mom
From: Lisa Mc on 18 Jan 2008 13:05
On Jan 17, 12:51 am, "Lynn - Josh's Mom" <lynn.za...(a)gmail.com> wrote: > On Jan 15, 9:38 am, donna <donnac...(a)hotmail.com> wrote: > > > > > > One feels the way one feels. Acting on those feelings is another > > > thing. I have honestly tried to dial down my resentments of others who > > > have hurt me. Many of them don't even realize that they did. > > > dear genie, > > > wise words. we can't control what we feel but we can choose what > > actions, if any, we take. there have been some people who are now > > excluded from my life; their behavior at savannah's death have removed > > them from ever being close to me again. on the other hand, there are > > people who will have my loyalty forever. i believe tragedy brings out > > both the worst and best in people ... but what a cost. > > > best, > > > donna > > Donna: > > You are so right! You find out who is your true friends when you lose > a child. It was amazing to me, the friends that I believed would be > there for me - and weren't. Not a problem though, I am no longer the > same person I was, part of my soul and heart died with my son. I have > become very picky about the kind of person I am around now. They must > have a true heart. Wishing you the best! > > Lynn - Josh's Mom I can't post a link or anything but a few months ago I was listening to AM radio a a person was talking about forgiveness. They did a study on families who had loved ones that were murdered. 10 years after the loss, those that had forgiven the murderers were physically and mentally healthier and were at peace with their loved one's passing. Those who still harbored anger and resentment had higher rates of various sicknesses and diseases and lower mental health. I've not had anything done to me so horrible that I've had to deal with forgiveness issues, so it's unfair for me to comment either way. Just throwing out some food for thought. |