email from ex re daughter
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From: Bogart on 12 Nov 2005 05:14 John Riggs wrote: > I have mine facing the TV. (might as well be entertaining) In some places that would be illegal - it may constitute re-broadcasting bogey > > > "m.L" <NO(a)blah.blahhhhh> wrote in message news:8k7df.214$xz.69(a)fed1read05... > >>Casey <cclremovethispart(a)cox.net> wrote: >> >>>Nearl J Icarus said >> >>>>I first networked the computers here together, my ex asked my son if I >>>>could >>>>spy on the front room that way. Just what was she worried about that I >>>>would >>>>'spy' in my own front room? >>> >>>They could easily just throw a towel over the camera if they don't >>>believe it is really inaccessible from the other end without the proper >>>software running. >> >>i turn my cam facing the wall. Just in case. > > >
From: Bogart on 12 Nov 2005 05:17 >> And in my view, he misses the mark with his kids. But what do I >> know? I >> don't choose to live 10,000 miles away from my kids. And then spend >> $100,000 on legal fees to enjoy the fight because I think I'm right! >> >> > > It was his ex who took the kids and left Honk Kong for the US. > Lets say he goes back to the states. > There is nothing he could do to stop her from moving again or could he? and it wouldn't solve the problem - I'm not across the world from my ex and children but still the same thing happens. If ex'es won't co-operate then it puts pressure on the children and that's gonna be awful wherever people are. bogey
From: Rambler on 12 Nov 2005 05:29 Bogart wrote: > John Riggs wrote: > >> I have mine facing the TV. (might as well be entertaining) > > > In some places that would be illegal - it may constitute re-broadcasting > Only you would think of that. only you. Rambler
From: Bogart on 12 Nov 2005 05:49 Joy wrote: > "Bogart" <nobody(a)here.there.com> wrote in message > news:4374cb5f$0$82638$ed2619ec(a)ptn-nntp-reader03.plus.net... > >>Rambler wrote: >> >>>Bogart wrote: >>> >>> >>>>Rambler wrote: >>>> >>>> >>>>>Bogart wrote: >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>I have had many conversations with a colleague in Australia >>>>>>who has only modem connection via skype. Quality better than >>>>>>phone even when the local connection is that that >>>>>>speed. The snag tends to be delays elsewhere not local. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>Hmm (oh older twin o mine) I'll have to know push that then. Mind if >>>>>you send me a copy of your email to your ex on using Skype? No use in >>>>>re-inventing the wheel (he says with an evil grin). >>>>> >>>>>Rambler >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>You mean the email that tells her about it ? I have better things >>>>to do than waste my time writing about it - her asking was a deliberate >>>>time-waster, she has no intention of allowing it. In any case, try >>>>explaining to a dog about cat culture, she wouldn't understand. >>>> >>>>I'm going to get 2 web cams and set one up on the old laptop >>>>my daughter used to use here then teach her how to plug in >>>>cat 5 cable and enable the onboard ethernet - in fact we can >>>>have it all set up so all she has to do is plug into >>>>her mother's router. Then I shall give it to daughter to take >>>>to her mother's then what happens is not under my control is it. >>>> >>>>The trouble is her mother has macs not pc's and there could be >>>>some network issues - which is why I need her mother's co-operation >>>>to solve. And in any case, we should co-operate on issues like >>>>this. >>>> >>>>You know I'm almost tempted to try sitting in my car outside >>>>ex'es house with my laptop and see if there are any open >>>>wireless networks amongst her neighbours so daughter wouldn't >>>>need her mother's network, just the laptop - i suppose I shouldn't do >>>>that tho as its stealing someone's bandwidth at the >>>>least - could be illegal also. So I won't - it was only >>>>a passing thought. >>> >>> >>>You realize of course that by taking this tack you are doing the same >>>thing you abhorred your ex from doing when your daughter entered your >>>house without your permission? Don't you? >>> >>>Rambler >> >>Of course I do Rambler and I'm very unhappy about it. >>What can else can I do ? >>I could just walk away ..... > > > Bogey, get a grip! It isn't an "either she puts the webcam in her house or > I have to walk away from my kids" issue. You know better than that. That > is a false dichotomy. > > Second, whether you like it or not, whether you agree with it or not, your > ex has the same right to control what goes on in her household that you have > to control what goes on in yours. You have no right to send a webcam over > there if you know she has forbidden it - no more right than she would have > to send things over to your house that you have forbidden. > > Third, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY what message does that send to your daughter? > You've expressed concern before that your daughter is manipulative. My > goodness, man, here you are giving her LESSONS in manipulation! Think about > it. > > > Sheesh Joy. You put this in a very comandeering way. I am also seriously looking for ways to move away yet stay in serious contact. Even if I stay here I still end up travelling an awful lot - often more than half the time I am away and contact is very expensive and difficult (roaming with cellphones in europe is a ridiculous cost, nothing like as cheap as in the US). Ex is very anti anything I do or say, she's a bully, she's rude and ignorant of others, openly so in front of the children. Daughter needs to identify with ex (she's a girl after all) and is in impossible position. I want daughter to be able to use a web-cam and Internet facilities to stay in touch more easily. She had her hair dyed a couple of weeks ago, I've not seen it. Her mother won't allow her to use the household digital camera to take a pic and mail it to me. Now I can sit here thinking how miserable it is rolling around in this big house, waiting, in case the kids want to come and see me. Or I can be realistic and get on with some life, staying in touch with the kids as well as I can, being there for them as I can, and using the best mechanisms I can to do that. I am honest enough to not want to do things underhand but very frustrated that my ex won't co-operate. So what do I do - I act openly. I shall provide daughter with the equipment. If ex would co-operate then we could work out a way to do things that is acceptable to her but she won't. I am my daughter's parent too, its not a playing-for-affection game. I've done the best I can to secure co-operation and always been here for the kids to the point where my own life is based around here. I shunned one relationship that mattered to me because it wouldn't work with daughter. Sorry Joy but its my ex'es decision not to co-operate, not mine. I can either sit here and not do anything and continue to not see the kids or do the best I can. I'm doing nothing underand at all. If I disagree with ex'es decision, having tried and tried to find a reasonable way forwards then I'm going to do what I feel is the best I can do with the things that I *can* influence - my own actions. This is not manipulative or underhand, its above the table and honest. I don't agree with ex'es decision because it has implications for my contact with daughter. I don't see her saying "well I disagree but I'll go along with it because it helps communication". So I won't say "well I disagree with it but her house is her house so I can't do anything". She has engineered the situation she wants with the children just like Rambler's ex has. Don't ever ask me to accept that situation because I can't. If all on offer is "saturday's in the park" then I'm going to do the best I can to make that as good as I can. All of this is against my will. I am forced to do this by the situation. Am I supposed to accept her interference in communication with my daughter ? She should facilitate it not obstruct it and in this I have no doubts at all. My response to the situation is I believe justified. bogey
From: Rambler on 12 Nov 2005 06:03
Bogart wrote: > >>> And in my view, he misses the mark with his kids. But what do I >>> know? I >>> don't choose to live 10,000 miles away from my kids. And then spend >>> $100,000 on legal fees to enjoy the fight because I think I'm right! >>> >>> >> >> It was his ex who took the kids and left Honk Kong for the US. >> Lets say he goes back to the states. >> There is nothing he could do to stop her from moving again or could he? > > > and it wouldn't solve the problem - I'm not across the world from > my ex and children but still the same thing happens. If ex'es > won't co-operate then it puts pressure on the children and that's > gonna be awful wherever people are. Thank you. Been my point all along. Rambler |