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From: isibelita on 13 Apr 2007 02:57
On Feb 20, 2:02 am, "rado" <funky.croo...(a)g.mail.com> wrote:
> I m similiar, but i even dont pretend i m talking on a handy-just pass them
> by Lol.....And after that i think what could i say.....
>
> But i also smell that they dont like me , although i m tottaly convinced
> that it is completely unreal...
>
> Still dont know how to fix that
>
> Guess i m tottaly paranoid
>
> <puddleduc...(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:1171625667.029465.166420(a)l53g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > hello
>
> > I've just found this group, and i thought i'd post this to try to
> > describe my social-ineptitude. I'm wondering if anyone reading this
> > will identify with what i'm going through, or is it just me?
> > I've had a drug problem for about 10 years now, and although i'm not
> > using at the mo (and i haven't done for about 2 years except for one
> > relapse when my mum in law was dying) the medication i'm on
> > (methadone)is far more addictive than the initial addiction (heroin).
> > Thats the NHS for ya! Anyway, i don't want to bang on in a 'my drug
> > hell....' style so i'll move swiftly on....
> > My real problem is i'm socially terrified. Thats the reason i started
> > taking drugs in the first place (since i was 15 yrs old, and i'm 30
> > now) and the trouble is that i've ended up avoiding almost all social
> > interactions.
> > I have no friendships worth maintaining - the people i used to hang
> > about with are a lifetime away and i have nothing whatsoever in common
> > with them. I've simply forgotten how to make new ones.
> > i'm not too bad at talking to total strangers because they don't know
> > me and i don't feel like i'm being judged (unfavourably), its when i'm
> > talking to people i know that i get tongue-tied and awkward and i
> > can't think of anything to say worth saying. The result is that i do
> > things like pretending not to see people i know when i pass them on
> > the street, pretending to be talking on my mobile when i walk up the
> > road so if i do bump into someone i know then i won't have to stop and
> > talk to them. This doesn't happen so much nowadays because i drive
> > everywhere so i can avoid dealing with people.
> > I think there's something about me that people can sense and whatever
> > it is, its something they dislike. So i avoid eye contact with people
> > i pass in the street so if they scowl at me (which often happens, and
> > no i'm not just being paranoid) i won't see it and therefore it can't
> > get me down. Because as much as it pisses me off to admit it, it
> > hurts. Why do people judge when they don't even know me? Excuse me
> > for the self-pity, but i'm just trying to be honest about how i feel.
> > I can write for hours, page after page, but i run out of things to say
> > after about 30 seconds when i'm speaking to someone.
> > The only real friend i have is my partner, who is my world, my
> > soulmate. We're like the same person divided into two bodies and if
> > not for him i would be totally alone.
> > For 6 years i lived in a small rural town and guess how many friends i
> > made while i was there? Yep thats right - none. I've just moved into
> > a new house so hopefully things might be different here but i won't be
> > holding my breath....- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I just walk past people too or cross the road. I know they don't
care.
Gee, taking drugs was a mistake puddle. Does Methadone give you
paranoia?

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