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From: puddleduck07 on 16 Feb 2007 06:34
hello

I've just found this group, and i thought i'd post this to try to
describe my social-ineptitude. I'm wondering if anyone reading this
will identify with what i'm going through, or is it just me?
I've had a drug problem for about 10 years now, and although i'm not
using at the mo (and i haven't done for about 2 years except for one
relapse when my mum in law was dying) the medication i'm on
(methadone)is far more addictive than the initial addiction (heroin).
Thats the NHS for ya! Anyway, i don't want to bang on in a 'my drug
hell....' style so i'll move swiftly on....
My real problem is i'm socially terrified. Thats the reason i started
taking drugs in the first place (since i was 15 yrs old, and i'm 30
now) and the trouble is that i've ended up avoiding almost all social
interactions.
I have no friendships worth maintaining - the people i used to hang
about with are a lifetime away and i have nothing whatsoever in common
with them. I've simply forgotten how to make new ones.
i'm not too bad at talking to total strangers because they don't know
me and i don't feel like i'm being judged (unfavourably), its when i'm
talking to people i know that i get tongue-tied and awkward and i
can't think of anything to say worth saying. The result is that i do
things like pretending not to see people i know when i pass them on
the street, pretending to be talking on my mobile when i walk up the
road so if i do bump into someone i know then i won't have to stop and
talk to them. This doesn't happen so much nowadays because i drive
everywhere so i can avoid dealing with people.
I think there's something about me that people can sense and whatever
it is, its something they dislike. So i avoid eye contact with people
i pass in the street so if they scowl at me (which often happens, and
no i'm not just being paranoid) i won't see it and therefore it can't
get me down. Because as much as it pisses me off to admit it, it
hurts. Why do people judge when they don't even know me? Excuse me
for the self-pity, but i'm just trying to be honest about how i feel.
I can write for hours, page after page, but i run out of things to say
after about 30 seconds when i'm speaking to someone.
The only real friend i have is my partner, who is my world, my
soulmate. We're like the same person divided into two bodies and if
not for him i would be totally alone.
For 6 years i lived in a small rural town and guess how many friends i
made while i was there? Yep thats right - none. I've just moved into
a new house so hopefully things might be different here but i won't be
holding my breath....

From: rado on 19 Feb 2007 11:02
I m similiar, but i even dont pretend i m talking on a handy-just pass them
by Lol.....And after that i think what could i say.....

But i also smell that they dont like me , although i m tottaly convinced
that it is completely unreal...

Still dont know how to fix that

Guess i m tottaly paranoid



<puddleduck07(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message
news:1171625667.029465.166420(a)l53g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> hello
>
> I've just found this group, and i thought i'd post this to try to
> describe my social-ineptitude. I'm wondering if anyone reading this
> will identify with what i'm going through, or is it just me?
> I've had a drug problem for about 10 years now, and although i'm not
> using at the mo (and i haven't done for about 2 years except for one
> relapse when my mum in law was dying) the medication i'm on
> (methadone)is far more addictive than the initial addiction (heroin).
> Thats the NHS for ya! Anyway, i don't want to bang on in a 'my drug
> hell....' style so i'll move swiftly on....
> My real problem is i'm socially terrified. Thats the reason i started
> taking drugs in the first place (since i was 15 yrs old, and i'm 30
> now) and the trouble is that i've ended up avoiding almost all social
> interactions.
> I have no friendships worth maintaining - the people i used to hang
> about with are a lifetime away and i have nothing whatsoever in common
> with them. I've simply forgotten how to make new ones.
> i'm not too bad at talking to total strangers because they don't know
> me and i don't feel like i'm being judged (unfavourably), its when i'm
> talking to people i know that i get tongue-tied and awkward and i
> can't think of anything to say worth saying. The result is that i do
> things like pretending not to see people i know when i pass them on
> the street, pretending to be talking on my mobile when i walk up the
> road so if i do bump into someone i know then i won't have to stop and
> talk to them. This doesn't happen so much nowadays because i drive
> everywhere so i can avoid dealing with people.
> I think there's something about me that people can sense and whatever
> it is, its something they dislike. So i avoid eye contact with people
> i pass in the street so if they scowl at me (which often happens, and
> no i'm not just being paranoid) i won't see it and therefore it can't
> get me down. Because as much as it pisses me off to admit it, it
> hurts. Why do people judge when they don't even know me? Excuse me
> for the self-pity, but i'm just trying to be honest about how i feel.
> I can write for hours, page after page, but i run out of things to say
> after about 30 seconds when i'm speaking to someone.
> The only real friend i have is my partner, who is my world, my
> soulmate. We're like the same person divided into two bodies and if
> not for him i would be totally alone.
> For 6 years i lived in a small rural town and guess how many friends i
> made while i was there? Yep thats right - none. I've just moved into
> a new house so hopefully things might be different here but i won't be
> holding my breath....
>

From: John Sheppard on 19 Feb 2007 23:10
I was talking to a shrink yesterday, and she said paranoid people are the
hardest to treat. They're too paranoid to come to therapy and trust what is
said :)

"rado" <funky.crookie(a)g.mail.com> wrote in message
news:erchq1$31m$2(a)news.datemas.de...
>I m similiar, but i even dont pretend i m talking on a handy-just pass them
>by Lol.....And after that i think what could i say.....
>
> But i also smell that they dont like me , although i m tottaly convinced
> that it is completely unreal...
>
> Still dont know how to fix that
>
> Guess i m tottaly paranoid
>
>
>
> <puddleduck07(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message
> news:1171625667.029465.166420(a)l53g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>> hello
>>
>> I've just found this group, and i thought i'd post this to try to
>> describe my social-ineptitude. I'm wondering if anyone reading this
>> will identify with what i'm going through, or is it just me?
>> I've had a drug problem for about 10 years now, and although i'm not
>> using at the mo (and i haven't done for about 2 years except for one
>> relapse when my mum in law was dying) the medication i'm on
>> (methadone)is far more addictive than the initial addiction (heroin).
>> Thats the NHS for ya! Anyway, i don't want to bang on in a 'my drug
>> hell....' style so i'll move swiftly on....
>> My real problem is i'm socially terrified. Thats the reason i started
>> taking drugs in the first place (since i was 15 yrs old, and i'm 30
>> now) and the trouble is that i've ended up avoiding almost all social
>> interactions.
>> I have no friendships worth maintaining - the people i used to hang
>> about with are a lifetime away and i have nothing whatsoever in common
>> with them. I've simply forgotten how to make new ones.
>> i'm not too bad at talking to total strangers because they don't know
>> me and i don't feel like i'm being judged (unfavourably), its when i'm
>> talking to people i know that i get tongue-tied and awkward and i
>> can't think of anything to say worth saying. The result is that i do
>> things like pretending not to see people i know when i pass them on
>> the street, pretending to be talking on my mobile when i walk up the
>> road so if i do bump into someone i know then i won't have to stop and
>> talk to them. This doesn't happen so much nowadays because i drive
>> everywhere so i can avoid dealing with people.
>> I think there's something about me that people can sense and whatever
>> it is, its something they dislike. So i avoid eye contact with people
>> i pass in the street so if they scowl at me (which often happens, and
>> no i'm not just being paranoid) i won't see it and therefore it can't
>> get me down. Because as much as it pisses me off to admit it, it
>> hurts. Why do people judge when they don't even know me? Excuse me
>> for the self-pity, but i'm just trying to be honest about how i feel.
>> I can write for hours, page after page, but i run out of things to say
>> after about 30 seconds when i'm speaking to someone.
>> The only real friend i have is my partner, who is my world, my
>> soulmate. We're like the same person divided into two bodies and if
>> not for him i would be totally alone.
>> For 6 years i lived in a small rural town and guess how many friends i
>> made while i was there? Yep thats right - none. I've just moved into
>> a new house so hopefully things might be different here but i won't be
>> holding my breath....
>>
>


From: John Sheppard on 19 Feb 2007 23:17
Yeah, thats pretty familiar for me, except the drugs.

People judge other people because they cant help it, its built into our
brains, like it or not, you do it too.

The reason is as follows ; Imagine a crowd of 100 people, all of a sudden
one of them on the left of the crowd starts to shout and panic. Even though
the people on the right of the crowd cant see and hear, you can bet they
will know something is up due to the ripple of stirring down the 100 people.
Its a group survival mechanism.

All ya can do is take the bull by the horns and decide to change your life.
It takes alot of work to dig yourself out of such a situation.

John

<puddleduck07(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message
news:1171625667.029465.166420(a)l53g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> hello
>
> I've just found this group, and i thought i'd post this to try to
> describe my social-ineptitude. I'm wondering if anyone reading this
> will identify with what i'm going through, or is it just me?
> I've had a drug problem for about 10 years now, and although i'm not
> using at the mo (and i haven't done for about 2 years except for one
> relapse when my mum in law was dying) the medication i'm on
> (methadone)is far more addictive than the initial addiction (heroin).
> Thats the NHS for ya! Anyway, i don't want to bang on in a 'my drug
> hell....' style so i'll move swiftly on....
> My real problem is i'm socially terrified. Thats the reason i started
> taking drugs in the first place (since i was 15 yrs old, and i'm 30
> now) and the trouble is that i've ended up avoiding almost all social
> interactions.
> I have no friendships worth maintaining - the people i used to hang
> about with are a lifetime away and i have nothing whatsoever in common
> with them. I've simply forgotten how to make new ones.
> i'm not too bad at talking to total strangers because they don't know
> me and i don't feel like i'm being judged (unfavourably), its when i'm
> talking to people i know that i get tongue-tied and awkward and i
> can't think of anything to say worth saying. The result is that i do
> things like pretending not to see people i know when i pass them on
> the street, pretending to be talking on my mobile when i walk up the
> road so if i do bump into someone i know then i won't have to stop and
> talk to them. This doesn't happen so much nowadays because i drive
> everywhere so i can avoid dealing with people.
> I think there's something about me that people can sense and whatever
> it is, its something they dislike. So i avoid eye contact with people
> i pass in the street so if they scowl at me (which often happens, and
> no i'm not just being paranoid) i won't see it and therefore it can't
> get me down. Because as much as it pisses me off to admit it, it
> hurts. Why do people judge when they don't even know me? Excuse me
> for the self-pity, but i'm just trying to be honest about how i feel.
> I can write for hours, page after page, but i run out of things to say
> after about 30 seconds when i'm speaking to someone.
> The only real friend i have is my partner, who is my world, my
> soulmate. We're like the same person divided into two bodies and if
> not for him i would be totally alone.
> For 6 years i lived in a small rural town and guess how many friends i
> made while i was there? Yep thats right - none. I've just moved into
> a new house so hopefully things might be different here but i won't be
> holding my breath....
>


From: rado on 23 Feb 2007 11:20

"John Sheppard" <nospam(a)nospam.com> wrote in message
news:12tkt6a60947816(a)corp.supernews.com...
>I was talking to a shrink yesterday, and she said paranoid people are the
>hardest to treat. They're too paranoid to come to therapy and trust what is
>said :)
>
I cannot clearly mark what is Undefined fear-paranoia , and what is social
phobia,
but it is obvious that these two states coexists in me for a long time.

I guess superstition is a way of paranoia too . So there are many paranoic
people
in this world.. My basic problem is feeling of incompatiblity that i felt
when i was a little kid ,
all fears and confusion are caused by that.

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