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From: john.orthwein on 1 Feb 2008 11:03
On Jan 31, 1:42 pm, Fanta_S...(a)webtv.net (Laura) wrote:
> I can certainly appreciate the hurt the girl has from losing her mother,
> but she has no right to tell her father what he can or can't do, I think
> she's being selfish and a tad self centered. Where is the so called
> disrespect to the girls mother? She has gone on and wouldn't she want
> her husband to live his life to the fullest and be happy? The daughter
> should want her dad to be happy, not throw a temper tantrum because she
> isn't getting what she wants. And, why couldn't this new woman be a
> mother figure to this girl? What a blessing it could be. She's also
> cheating her children out of what could be a very loving and supporting
> grandmother.
> It is truly a sad deal for all involved, everyones heart is broke and
> confusion rules. The bottom line to me is we have one life, and I don't
> believe for one second if we are given a chance at happiness that we
> should be denied it because someone doesn't want it to happen for
> whatever reason. The dad should tell his daughter "I love you and I
> loved your mother very much but she is gone now, I want to be happy
> again and share my life with who I believe to be a wonderful woman, if
> "you" make the choice to cut me out of your life, it is your choice, it
> will break my heart but I suppose I can't do anything about it"
>
> Good luck to you all and I pray that God intervenes and takes hold of
> this situation.





"God" gives us the ability to love unconditionally, deeply, and thus
to grieve beyond imagination. We are all here because we are
desperate. I know I am so wounded that I can barely sit in my own body
and mind. I see similar pain on this site. Why are we allowed to be
so hurt and try to seek some comfort and compassion here, yet not
extend the same sympathy or empathy to this girl. Of course, her
father can do what he wants but it would be tragic for him to
callously walk away from his daughter when she must need him more than
anything. You say this girl is selfish, what differentiates her
motives to bring sense to her life and get through her grief from her
father's? Can it not be looked at as her father's selfish motives
putting his daughter's needs aside for his personal pleasures and
desires? Either way, I believe that slinging words around like
selfish, temper tantrum, no right, etc., will only inflame a situation
and will certainly lead to the unfortunate split between a daughter
and father. I don't think any of us on this site have the solution for
these individuals. The father and daughter must work through this
together and in doing so, may become even closer.
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