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From: Maggie on 14 May 2006 02:26

Harry wrote:
> is it necessarily a rough road?

So taking it wider.........let's discuss how marriages/relationships
work for BP's.

Anything to share about the traits of a spouse it worked with....and
howthis manifested/affected your ability to be stable?

Traits in potential spouses that made your condition worse.

Several people here seem to be happily married. Heather, Nancy, Ruby
and Colleen spring to mind......

Intersting topic....let's disuss?

Maggie


From: m_kelbell on 14 May 2006 08:04

"Maggie" <MaggieSheridan(a)aol.com> wrote in message
news:1147588008.932758.197040(a)i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Harry wrote:
>> is it necessarily a rough road?
>
> So taking it wider.........let's discuss how marriages/relationships
> work for BP's.
>
> Anything to share about the traits of a spouse it worked with....and
> howthis manifested/affected your ability to be stable?
>
> Traits in potential spouses that made your condition worse.
>
> Several people here seem to be happily married. Heather, Nancy, Ruby
> and Colleen spring to mind......
>
> Intersting topic....let's disuss?
>
> Maggie
>
>

Condition that results in divorce == being undiagnosed/untreated BP while
married.

My husband put up with a lot from me due to my illness. It was only when he
gave up on the marriage, and began telling his mother how I was acting that
anyone realized I might be ill and need help. I went to a mental hospital
(voluntarily) and started the long road to finding adequate treatment (I was
first misdiagnosed as having recurrent major depressive episodes - the mania
was not recognized).

It wasn't enough to save my marriage -- but it did save my life. So,
although I still blame him for giving up on the marriage, I am grateful that
he pushed me into getting help.

-- maryjane


From: Squiggles on 14 May 2006 11:21


Maggie wrote:
> Harry wrote:
>
>>is it necessarily a rough road?
>
>
> So taking it wider.........let's discuss how marriages/relationships
> work for BP's.
>
> Anything to share about the traits of a spouse it worked with....and
> howthis manifested/affected your ability to be stable?
>
> Traits in potential spouses that made your condition worse.
>
> Several people here seem to be happily married. Heather, Nancy, Ruby
> and Colleen spring to mind......
>
> Intersting topic....let's disuss?
>
> Maggie
>
>


I'm very happily married. I found lithium a great help
in emotional stability in romanitc emotions as well as
the entire spectrum, except shyness which still stays
with me.



Squiggles

From: canadagirl on 14 May 2006 19:35
My first thoughts are one who would be strong. Supportive, who takes
> the illness seriously and has made it their responsibility (as a loving
> and supportive spouse) to become educated. In doing so, that spouse
> has a low tolerance for bullshit. I mean bullshit excuses like "Oh
> honey, I'm so sorry you found that reciept for $300. I was manic and I
> couldn't control myself." That type of bullshit.
> One who gets to know your cycle and make allowances for it, like maybe
> I'm cycling a wee bit right now and when I burst into tears of
> overwhelmness the other night he went through my schedule of the next
> 3-4 days to see where I could cut back just so I don't go over the deep
> end at any one point. (btw, how very observant of a couple of you who
> thought you might be seeing some signs!) I do feel pretty fairly
> fantastic though! WHOA-off topic. Thems my thought on your topic
> right now Maggie, but I'll be watching this thread!


From: Colleen on 15 May 2006 06:10

"Maggie" <MaggieSheridan(a)aol.com> wrote in message
news:1147588008.932758.197040(a)i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

>
> Harry wrote:
>> is it necessarily a rough road?
>
> So taking it wider.........let's discuss how marriages/relationships
> work for BP's.

> Anything to share about the traits of a spouse it worked with....and
> howthis manifested/affected your ability to be stable?

Philo is by ballast. He fully accepts the fact that I have bipolar. The
key to our relationship is there's a mutual respect for the other. It's a
trust built on acceptance. Both of us have worked through the shitty times
in our lives. One key element on why we get along is we both take care of
our own needs. We've both worked through and cleaned out a lot of the
garbage in our lives. We've known each other for 10+ years now. For about
18 mos. (early '97 to mid '98) I went off meds and broke off the
relationship because I felt I could drink and function without "those stupid
psyche meds." The it and I bottomed out. I received a letter in early '99
from him and the light bulb went off above my head. There was the person
who helps me to make my life bearable. We gradually got back together and
have only grown more in relationship to each. He's the ballast I'm the wind
type of thing.

Phil's traits? He's honest about his feelings, treats me and all people
with respect, and he tells the most dumb-assed jokes. We also have a whole
helluva lot in common. We're both writers, poets, artists, and generally
social people. We approach the world and others with kindness because in
the long run that's what people need from each other, kindness and respect.
The other stuff just becomes superfluous.

There's no magic answer to making relationships work. It's simple, take
care of your needs, respect the other as an indvidual and not an extension
of yourself, and laugh as often as possible.
c


>
> Traits in potential spouses that made your condition worse.
>
> Several people here seem to be happily married. Heather, Nancy, Ruby
> and Colleen spring to mind......
>
> Intersting topic....let's disuss?
>
> Maggie
>
>





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