From: Lynn Lynn on
In the book "36 Hour Day" (recommended by this group) and I highly
recommend it to anyone who is a caregiver - it likens Dementia to a
loose bulb in a lamp where the light goes on and off. This was such a
fitting description to my Mother's actions.

You just never know what to expect from day to day, hour by hour, minute
by minute.

Once I learned to "go with the flow" of what Mom saw and felt it was a
little easier than trying to make her see what was "wrong".

Dealing with Dementia is one of the most difficult things I have had to
do in my life. My heart goes out to you for what you are having to

Please be sure to stop in here often. I found this my safe haven where
people understood what I was feeling.


From: EddyJean on
Hi Sally:
Once someone has the disease, it can't be shut off and on at whim. If
your husband has turned himself into a Mr. nice guy more than once when
company comes, then I believe he knows what he's doing. I suspect he's
miserable because of the disease ( and who wouldn't be) and takes it out
on you. Since you know the situation between you and your husband better
than me, perhaps this needs you to stand up for yourself, by letting him
know how much he's hurt you and is difficult to care for him when his
verbal abuse works as a whip. Since he expects you to know what he
needs beforehand, maybe he needs to know what you think too. Just my

Best regards,