a shadow
in [Grief]
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From: Ken McM. on 17 May 2008 16:10 Ken McM. wrote: > TamiEarth wrote: >> On May 16, 1:03 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)yahoo.com> wrote: >>> Cindy's Mom wrote: >>>> On May 13, 5:45 am, donna <donnac...(a)hotmail.com> wrote: >>>>> sometimes i feel as if i am a shadow in this group ... a whisper of >>>>> pain that no one feels or sees. and so it goes. >>>> Donna..I know exactly how you feel. I have poured my heart out several >>>> times of late and gotten no response. I feel that the trolls have won. >>>> the folks who came here after reading Elizabeth Edwards book(like >>>> myself) expceted a caring support group. But, I think the group has >>>> changed from when she was responding in it. Why?? Who knows, but I >>>> know that even though I still read the posts and try to respond, I >>>> won't post my inner feelings anymore. It is worse to pour your heart >>>> out and get no answer than to just keep it yourself. Yes, we are >>>> shadows and this group has bascially become non-funtctioning. So sad >>>> because the need is so great for all of us suffering. Judy, Cindy's Mom >>> Replying to you, Donna, and Liliana - I hope that you will continue to >>> post, expressing your inner feelings. >>> I am probably the newest person here and have gotten a lot out of your >>> posts. They have helped me as I carry my burden - that I am not alone >>> in suffering loss. >>> But while I read your eloquent posts, I feel that I am still new to this >>> "loss" thing and new to the group and so I just listen and learn. >>> If I were there in a support group in person, I would respectfully nod >>> my head. >>> I continue to pray for all in this group. >>> >>> Ken >> >> So, Ken, if I may ask, what is your story? I know I've already >> responded to your post, but I feel the need to post again. I don't >> know why. I'm also very new to this group. I just recently got to >> begin responding and writing to this group. I have no other group as >> of now. I need you all. thanks everybody who reads anything I >> write. And of course, thanks for responding. Tami, John's mom > > <snip my story> > > Thank you for listening. > Ken > (My Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/8) Darn - (11/18/50 - 11/7/*7*) - the tears got in the way
From: "Pam" p b on 17 May 2008 22:56 "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removespam(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message news:g0ndud$s2t$2(a)aioe.org... > Ken McM. wrote: >> TamiEarth wrote: >>> On May 16, 1:03 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)yahoo.com> wrote: >>>> Cindy's Mom wrote: >>>>> On May 13, 5:45 am, donna <donnac...(a)hotmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> sometimes i feel as if i am a shadow in this group ... a whisper of >>>>>> pain that no one feels or sees. and so it goes. >>>>> Donna..I know exactly how you feel. I have poured my heart out several >>>>> times of late and gotten no response. I feel that the trolls have won. >>>>> the folks who came here after reading Elizabeth Edwards book(like >>>>> myself) expceted a caring support group. But, I think the group has >>>>> changed from when she was responding in it. Why?? Who knows, but I >>>>> know that even though I still read the posts and try to respond, I >>>>> won't post my inner feelings anymore. It is worse to pour your heart >>>>> out and get no answer than to just keep it yourself. Yes, we are >>>>> shadows and this group has bascially become non-funtctioning. So sad >>>>> because the need is so great for all of us suffering. Judy, Cindy's >>>>> Mom >>>> Replying to you, Donna, and Liliana - I hope that you will continue to >>>> post, expressing your inner feelings. >>>> I am probably the newest person here and have gotten a lot out of your >>>> posts. They have helped me as I carry my burden - that I am not alone >>>> in suffering loss. >>>> But while I read your eloquent posts, I feel that I am still new to >>>> this >>>> "loss" thing and new to the group and so I just listen and learn. >>>> If I were there in a support group in person, I would respectfully nod >>>> my head. >>>> I continue to pray for all in this group. >>>> >>>> Ken >>> >>> So, Ken, if I may ask, what is your story? I know I've already >>> responded to your post, but I feel the need to post again. I don't >>> know why. I'm also very new to this group. I just recently got to >>> begin responding and writing to this group. I have no other group as >>> of now. I need you all. thanks everybody who reads anything I >>> write. And of course, thanks for responding. Tami, John's mom >> >> > <snip my story> >> >> Thank you for listening. >> Ken >> (My Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/8) > > Darn - (11/18/50 - 11/7/*7*) - the tears got in the way {{{{{{{{{{Ken}}}}}}}}}}} Happens to me all the time.
From: TamiEarth on 18 May 2008 08:06 On May 17, 3:06 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)yahoo.com> wrote: > TamiEarth wrote: > > On May 16, 1:03 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)yahoo.com> wrote: > >> Cindy's Mom wrote: > >>> On May 13, 5:45 am, donna <donnac...(a)hotmail.com> wrote: > >>>> sometimes i feel as if i am a shadow in this group ... a whisper of > >>>> pain that no one feels or sees. and so it goes. > >>> Donna..I know exactly how you feel. I have poured my heart out several > >>> times of late and gotten no response. I feel that the trolls have won. > >>> the folks who came here after reading Elizabeth Edwards book(like > >>> myself) expceted a caringsupportgroup. But, I think the group has > >>> changed from when she was responding in it. Why?? Who knows, but I > >>> know that even though I still read the posts and try to respond, I > >>> won't post my inner feelings anymore. It is worse to pour your heart > >>> out and get no answer than to just keep it yourself. Yes, we are > >>> shadows and this group has bascially become non-funtctioning. So sad > >>> because the need is so great for all of us suffering. Judy, Cindy's Mom > >> Replying to you, Donna, and Liliana - I hope that you will continue to > >> post, expressing your inner feelings. > >> I am probably the newest person here and have gotten a lot out of your > >> posts. They have helped me as I carry my burden - that I am not alone > >> in suffering loss. > >> But while I read your eloquent posts, I feel that I am still new to this > >> "loss" thing and new to the group and so I just listen and learn. > >> If I were there in asupportgroup in person, I would respectfully nod > >> my head. > >> I continue to pray for all in this group. > > >> Ken > > > So, Ken, if I may ask, what is your story? I know I've already > > responded to your post, but I feel the need to post again. I don't > > know why. I'm also very new to this group. I just recently got to > > begin responding and writing to this group. I have no other group as > > of now. I need you all. thanks everybody who reads anything I > > write. And of course, thanks for responding. Tami, John's mom > > My story: > I first met Judy in February of 2004 at a special-interests club. > We got to know each other and a year later we started going together. > After a couple months, I took her on a trip to meet my family. They > loved her. She was a wonderful person. I could go on and on > about how special she was and the things we did together. I have a > photo album of 100 pictures that I took of her at picnics, the state > fair, etc. > In the summer of 2007, she started experiencing physical problems > that seemingly had no pattern. I went over to visit her on Sundays and > more than once noticed that she had deteriorated to the point that I had > her taken to the emergency room. In October, I took her to her doctor > and he prescribed a form of Dramamine. After a week, things didn't get > better, so we returned to him. He took some blood and said to take her > to the emergency room if things didn't get any better. Rather than wait, > I took her to the hospital right after the doctor. They admitted her > immediately. After several days, she started deteriorating and they sent > her to one of the best hospitals in the country. That first night, they > didn't watch her properly and she got up to go to the bathroom. She > fell, hit her head, and required several stitches. They finally found > she was bleeding in her abdominal cavity but couldn't find the source. > After three weeks of me visiting her daily in the hospital, she passed > away from a bleed-out in November of 2007. > I am still in shock and denial. And angry at her doctor and the hospital. > She donated her body to science so there was no casket at the funeral. > Her younger daughter (of two) picked out the music and readings but > relied heavily on my suggestions. So that made me feel involved. > They had two big picture frames of my Judy - one of the years as her > family was growing up and the other of pictures that I took of her > during the short time we had together. > And I read my eulogy to her at the Mass. My sister traveled 500 miles > to the funeral and to console me. At the end of the eulogy, she remarked > that people were crying on hearing it. So I feel that I properly pointed > out what a special person she was - to me and to others. > After a month, the state agency that oversaw her body had it cremated > and returned her remains to us. We buried her ashes at the foot of her > parents' grave in January of 2008. > Last week was the 6 month point of her passing. I can't believe it. > The acute pain has passed for the most part. But the gnawing pain and > loneliness is there. > > Thank you for listening. > Ken > (My Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/8)- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - No, thank you Ken for sharing. ((((((HUGS))))) Tami
From: Daisy on 22 May 2008 20:03 No one is a shadow Donna, everyones feelings are as important as any others. I'm sorry you feel this way, this group has helped me in so many ways it's countless. The first time I logged on was the hardest, seeing everyone else hurting as much as I was. -- Daisy "donna" <donnac406(a)hotmail.com> wrote in message news:83745d3e-96d2-475a-9c99-7c4fcdfe5cbe(a)q1g2000prf.googlegroups.com... > sometimes i feel as if i am a shadow in this group ... a whisper of > pain that no one feels or sees. and so it goes.
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