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From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 21 Nov 2007 03:18
Does anyone identify or have a family like mine? My little sister died
when I was 14 years old. She was only 11 months old and died of sids.
My Mom and my step dad had a quick funeral. After the funeral, my Mom
went to work. We had no more pictures of Chrissy on the walls or
anywhere. In fact, unless my younger sister of 5 years or I brought
her up - her name was never said again. About 5 years ago, for
Christmas I made a photo album of Chrissy. The few pictures I had from
a camera that I had as a kid. I blew up these pictures to be 8 x 10. I
put them in an album and wrapped them up. When they opened it - they
said thank you. Nothing ever was out or said again. When my son died
two years ago on a Friday. My Mom called me on Monday and told me to
not live in the past and to get on with my life. (I know she loves me
and meant well) but of course, I was upset. Since that time and very
recently she has told me to just get over it. She told me to quit
playing victim. She told me did I think her arms didn't ache for
Chrissy the year after she died. When Daniel posted those very fine
idea's about holidays, I wanted so much to have a candle lit in Josh's
memory during our family get together. I was told none else that died
in our family had that and it was creepy. I know my Mom came from a
different time as far as grieving. It always bothered my sister and me
that Chrissy seemed to be forgotten. Only in the last two months -
along with my dead son's picture and my dead grandma and grandpa's
picture, she actually put up a picture of my sister Chrissy. Please
help me to understand why a candle can't be lit in honor of my son. My
Mom and step dad loved him so very much. I am not trying to be the
victim - it's just that I love and miss my son and my heart is broken.
The idea of Holidays seem so horrible with out Josh. Josh loved them.
I don't want people to forget him. He touched so many lives. Is it
wrong for me to want to see that others besides me remember him and
love him and miss him? Personally, I can't believe time has not
stopped. It has for me. AM I wrong?
From: Crystal's mom on 21 Nov 2007 06:58
On Nov 21, 2:18 am, "Lynn - Josh's Mom" <lynn.za...(a)gmail.com> wrote:
> Does anyone identify or have a family like mine? My little sister died
> when I was 14 years old. She was only 11 months old and died of sids.
> My Mom and my step dad had a quick funeral. After the funeral, my Mom
> went to work. We had no more pictures of Chrissy on the walls or
> anywhere. In fact, unless my younger sister of 5 years or I brought
> her up - her name was never said again. About 5 years ago, for
> Christmas I made a photo album of Chrissy. The few pictures I had from
> a camera that I had as a kid. I blew up these pictures to be 8 x 10. I
> put them in an album and wrapped them up. When they opened it - they
> said thank you. Nothing ever was out or said again. When my son died
> two years ago on a Friday. My Mom called me on Monday and told me to
> not live in the past and to get on with my life. (I know she loves me
> and meant well) but of course, I was upset. Since that time and very
> recently she has told me to just get over it. She told me to quit
> playing victim. She told me did I think her arms didn't ache for
> Chrissy the year after she died. When Daniel posted those very fine
> idea's about holidays, I wanted so much to have a candle lit in Josh's
> memory during our family get together. I was told none else that died
> in our family had that and it was creepy. I know my Mom came from a
> different time as far as grieving. It always bothered my sister and me
> that Chrissy seemed to be forgotten. Only in the last two months -
> along with my dead son's picture and my dead grandma and grandpa's
> picture, she actually put up a picture of my sister Chrissy. Please
> help me to understand why a candle can't be lit in honor of my son. My
> Mom and step dad loved him so very much. I am not trying to be the
> victim - it's just that I love and miss my son and my heart is broken.
> The idea of Holidays seem so horrible with out Josh. Josh loved them.
> I don't want people to forget him. He touched so many lives. Is it
> wrong for me to want to see that others besides me remember him and
> love him and miss him? Personally, I can't believe time has not
> stopped. It has for me. AM I wrong?

Lynn, light the candle for Josh, and why not light light one for
Chrissy also. If your mom doesn't go for the idea of one for your
sister...tell her that it's for my Crissy. In your heart, it honors
Yours. I will light two....I've never had the nerve to light any
before...it will be for Crystal & Sammy, but Sammy's candle can also
be for Josh.
People come in all weirdities and some can't let themselves mourn
where others might see. God give me strength to make it through today
at work without crying. Tomorrow is my birthday and no young lady to
have the surprise party that isn't a surprise....no bouquet of flowers
from her smiling hands and no bear hug from her hubby....an empty
place at the table....and all I want is to be with her. So , no you
are not wrong...time has stopped in its own way.


















From: daisy on 21 Nov 2007 22:18
Lynn - Josh's Mom wrote:
> Does anyone identify or have a family like mine? My little sister died
> when I was 14 years old. She was only 11 months old and died of sids.
> My Mom and my step dad had a quick funeral. After the funeral, my Mom
> went to work. We had no more pictures of Chrissy on the walls or
> anywhere. In fact, unless my younger sister of 5 years or I brought
> her up - her name was never said again. About 5 years ago, for
> Christmas I made a photo album of Chrissy. The few pictures I had from
> a camera that I had as a kid. I blew up these pictures to be 8 x 10. I
> put them in an album and wrapped them up. When they opened it - they
> said thank you. Nothing ever was out or said again. When my son died
> two years ago on a Friday. My Mom called me on Monday and told me to
> not live in the past and to get on with my life. (I know she loves me
> and meant well) but of course, I was upset. Since that time and very
> recently she has told me to just get over it. She told me to quit
> playing victim. She told me did I think her arms didn't ache for
> Chrissy the year after she died. When Daniel posted those very fine
> idea's about holidays, I wanted so much to have a candle lit in Josh's
> memory during our family get together. I was told none else that died
> in our family had that and it was creepy. I know my Mom came from a
> different time as far as grieving. It always bothered my sister and me
> that Chrissy seemed to be forgotten. Only in the last two months -
> along with my dead son's picture and my dead grandma and grandpa's
> picture, she actually put up a picture of my sister Chrissy. Please
> help me to understand why a candle can't be lit in honor of my son. My
> Mom and step dad loved him so very much. I am not trying to be the
> victim - it's just that I love and miss my son and my heart is broken.
> The idea of Holidays seem so horrible with out Josh. Josh loved them.
> I don't want people to forget him. He touched so many lives. Is it
> wrong for me to want to see that others besides me remember him and
> love him and miss him? Personally, I can't believe time has not
> stopped. It has for me. AM I wrong?
Lynn, you go right ahead and light as many candles as you feel you want
to, remember and remember again!! I also remember one year shortly
after Buster died I finally got up the nerve to put up a christmas tree,
but I decorated it with tiny little red apples with all the deceased
names from this newsgroup, it made me feel good but my family (my
parents) said it was creepy as well. But you know what? It was the
prettiest tree I've ever had. I still have the apples and put them on
the tree to this day.

Daisy
From: donna on 21 Nov 2007 15:04


dear lynn,

go with whatever your heart tells you and you'll never be wrong.

donna
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