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From: ~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ on 10 Jan 2008 08:04
Most of y'all know that I lost my mom last January. Now that I've gone
through losing a mom, I constantly think of when my dad will pass, what
he'll die of, how old he'll be, will he suffer like mom, etc., etc. And
then I feel really guilty for being so morbid in thoughts. My biggest
underlying fear is after Dad is gone. I won't have anyone but my brother,
whom I am not very close to *at all*. See... I'm on the phone w/my dad
almost every day. I rarely make a decision w/out consulting him first (he
is completely of sound mind and body... thank goodness). Dad also handles
my finances on almost everything (long story about that). I've been told
that I need to change that, and that I'm a big girl, and I should make my
own decisions. I do agree, and I'm working on this. (That's why I went
back to work two days ago).

But when Dad is gone... I am so afraid of being absolutely lonely and even
orphaned. If y'all have lost both folks, tell me... how do you cope?

--

�.��� �)) -:�:-
�.�� .����))
Laurie
((��.�� ..��
-:�:- ((�� �.�

*~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln


From: Jo in Ok on 10 Jan 2008 09:52
On Jan 10, 5:04 am, "~*LiveLoveLaugh*~" <nob...(a)myjunkaddy.com> wrote:
> Most of y'all know that I lost my mom last January.  Now that I've gone
> through losing a mom, I constantly think of when my dad will pass, what
> he'll die of, how old he'll be, will he suffer like mom, etc., etc.  And
> then I feel really guilty for being so morbid in thoughts.  My biggest
> underlying fear is after Dad is gone.  I won't have anyone but my brother,
> whom I am not very close to *at all*.  See...  I'm on the phone w/my dad
> almost every day.  I rarely make a decision w/out consulting him first (he
> is completely of sound mind and body... thank goodness).  Dad also handles
> my finances on almost everything (long story about that).  I've been told
> that I need to change that, and that I'm a big girl, and I should make my
> own decisions.  I do agree, and I'm working on this.  (That's why I went
> back to work two days ago).
>
> But when Dad is gone...  I am so afraid of being absolutely lonely and even
> orphaned.  If y'all have lost both folks, tell me...  how do you cope?
>
> --
>
> ·.·´¨ ¨))  -:¦:-
>        ¸.·´  .·´¨¨))
>        Laurie
>    ((¸¸.·´  ..·´
>      -:¦:-  ((¸¸ ·.·
>
> *~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*
>
> All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
> ~Abraham Lincoln

I never had much a good relationship with a "father" figure...have
told others
I feel closer to God as my Father...since he has never hurt me or harm
me
"mentally"....love my mom(who makes me a little nuts with her ways but
oh well lol!) After my son died , I first had dreaded thoughts of mom
dying too-
when would she?,ect...it has been years now since son died in '96 and
mom
is still going strong at 80....I know when parents die-then those left
comfort
one another-if not family members-then friends,ect...one is truly
never alone
unless that is how they want to be...it is a choice(just my opinion;)
....I get alot of "me" time with my 3 dogs...
though am married and have another grown son living at home...it is
great your dad is helping you
with finances-it will help you in the long run- to know how he does it-
one never knows if our love one
will be here tomorrow and it may not be as big a shock if you need to
do your own finances,ect
...if your dad has a life insurance policy , that would help you
financially...if not, and he owns home
and leaves it to you(do you know if you are in his will?) it can be
sold...though alot of work to sell-unless
you want to live in it-which is costly too...I do hope your dad and my
mom still has many good years
left....
From: daisy on 10 Jan 2008 09:18
~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:
> Most of y'all know that I lost my mom last January. Now that I've gone
> through losing a mom, I constantly think of when my dad will pass, what
> he'll die of, how old he'll be, will he suffer like mom, etc., etc. And
> then I feel really guilty for being so morbid in thoughts. My biggest
> underlying fear is after Dad is gone. I won't have anyone but my
> brother, whom I am not very close to *at all*. See... I'm on the phone
> w/my dad almost every day. I rarely make a decision w/out consulting
> him first (he is completely of sound mind and body... thank goodness).
> Dad also handles my finances on almost everything (long story about
> that). I've been told that I need to change that, and that I'm a big
> girl, and I should make my own decisions. I do agree, and I'm working
> on this. (That's why I went back to work two days ago).
>
> But when Dad is gone... I am so afraid of being absolutely lonely and
> even orphaned. If y'all have lost both folks, tell me... how do you cope?
>
That was the first thing I thought of when my dad passed, that I was an
orphan.....it's not a good feeling and hopefully you'll have many more
years with your precious daddy. I have one surviving sister who is
actually old enough to be my mother and I miss her terribly since I've
moved three states away.

Daisy
From: orcouldbe on 11 Jan 2008 19:07
On Jan 10, 6:04 am, "~*LiveLoveLaugh*~" <nob...(a)myjunkaddy.com> wrote:
>
> But when Dad is gone... I am so afraid of being absolutely lonely and even
> orphaned. If y'all have lost both folks, tell me... how do you cope?
> ·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-
> ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
> Laurie
> ((¸¸.·´ ..·´
> -:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.·
>
> *~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*

Just like your sig - LIVE. First, enjoy your father, doesn't sound as
though he's gone yet. Learn all you can from him. Second, when your
father dies, yes you are an orphan. Cross that bridge when you come to
it. I can only say that I felt I met the world differently. Talking
helped - to neighbors, friends, or relatives. I told them as much as
they seemed to want to listen to. But I always felt a little better.
Not necessarily understood. But usually relieved and somewhat
connected.

When the need to cope presents itself it always seems to come with the
tools to do so. These days, instead going to mom's for Thanksgiving,
I'm invited to neighbors. Been that way the last 4 years. We have a
great time and for a brief moment or two I feel connected. I suspect
you'll find your way, when the time presents itself.

Coping for me is putting one foot in front of the other on a daily
basis. Just doing the next indicated thing and it seems to work.

In the meantime, LiveLoveLaugh.

Mack

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