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From: mruk4u on 10 Sep 2006 07:46 Hi Jessica, And, thanks for your very warm and understanding reply./;-) I used to Agoraphobic myself for over a decade long(11+ years)...; but, am now fully recovered. I just wondered...assuming your are still Agoraphobic...what are you doing to help yourself recover? Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London) PS: Have a NICE day! ;-)
From: Jessica Marie on 11 Sep 2006 20:12 Hi Paul from London! Over the past 15 years of varying levels of agoraphobia severity; I have done things as small as maiking myself go outside on the front porch to smoke 1 cigarette once a day----to recently, taking public transporatation alone out to the outskirts of town to go to a huge department mart to buy "normal clothes" ALL BY MYSELF. The whole thing! However, I did have a friend to pick me up at a designated time. This was the biggest challenge I've had in a while. And I am proud of myself. But it has come & gone (well, not totally gone), over the years. I used to only go out while cutting off the circulation to my husbands arm, walking around uptown. Since he is deaf in one ear & well, quite myopic over the past 23 years, my senses have sharpened immensely, b/c I was the main "dog companion"; I am always severely aware of everything that is around me visually; every day noise sounds louder than you're average person; I constantly "scan" 360 degrees. So, when I'm out by myself, they appear to me as more of a threat since I am alone. If I had narrow-angle sight, I suppose I wouldn't be so fearful. But I can tell at 100 paces if someone walking towards me is going to hit on me sexually, for money, or for the hell of it. I am on constant alert even while sitting on a bus. I used to smoke a joint & sit on one of the main "tourists streets" & people watch. That used to be a happy event. Now, it's like I am using all those lessons I learned from watching body posture & language for fun, now it's for paranoid protection. And it's not paranoid, this last clothes trip--as soon as I got to my bus stop, within 10 minutes I was "hit on" by two African American guys. I don't live in a "good" neighborhood. I purposely try to volunteer for things within my building (public housing community) b/c I get to work with ppl again and I'm obligated to show up. Sometimes, it's seems like a lot of progress & sometime's I feel like I'm back-sliding. But that's just life, I guess. It's all about setting up "baby-steps" a day ahead of time; making small checklists of challenges. (ie: going downstairs to the busy lobby to check the mail) Taking out the recyclables, etc. Change is always possible, it's just a matter of believing in yourself. I can say that-----but, Paul....would YOU share w/ me HOW you are now fully recovered? What's your secret? RSVP? ;-) thanks.......... Jessica Marie et. al. mruk4u wrote: > Hi Jessica, > > And, thanks for your very warm and understanding reply./;-) > > I used to Agoraphobic myself for over a decade long(11+ years)...; but, > am now fully recovered. > > I just wondered...assuming your are still Agoraphobic...what are you > doing to help yourself recover? > > Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London) > > PS: Have a NICE day! > ;-)
From: mruk4u on 12 Sep 2006 14:22 Hi Jessica, YOUR AGORAPHOBIA Judging from the sound of your letter...; it seems your own version of Agoraphobia -(and, I guess, everybody's Agoraphobia symptoms tend to be different?)- doesn't permanently lock you up inside...as you seem to go out, too, as well. This is excellent. You have my sympathy when you say you are living in a real tough area...; as this can make it doubly difficult to be able to get out there. I used to live in a gang infested area...and, I had to move to somewhere safer just to be able to practice going out again. Anyway, all I can say is keep on trying to go out...; and, don't never give up. It's great too that you have a partner who helps you/and, of course, vice versa. MY AGORAPHOBIA As to my own big secret in learning how to overcome 11+ years of Agoraphobia. Well, frankly, that only came about when I finally realised that there is no secret to learning to deal with Agoraphobia, atall(forget books/tapes/psychiatrists/pills/-etc.)...; instead, you just have to get up/go out/and, basically, just do it...and, keep on doing it. Not that I'm saying it's easy...especially, at first...but, the more and more you practice going out...then, the easier and easier it tends to get...until when you can do it without even thinking about it, anymore...this is when you know, for sure, you're cured! I been Agoraphobic more than once in my life...; at least, twice(20-21/26-37)...; so, it's always a possibility that it could come and hit me repeatedly even at anytime? All I can say is I'm just rejoicing right now that it ain't come back, yet...; from age 38-43+ I remain fully cured...; and, I'm both hoping and praying that things will stay that way. GOOD LUCK Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London) PS: Have a NICE day! ;-)
From: Jessica Marie on 13 Sep 2006 19:56 Hello mruk4u (aka: Paul from UK/London) Thanks for the feedback----I appreciated getting any at all. Usually all I hear is the "why's", not the "how to GET RID OF IT!!" But, I guess (I'm not trying to make things more complicated) but here in my great Green Bay Packer state, Fall has come....I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) This means 80% overcast skies, cold, snow & worsened ( more unexplainable than "normal") depression. I don't even like going downstairs to check the mail for days! I also cannot afford to move to a better neighborhood b/c this is "Public Housing"; in the US, that's what you call "you are lucky enough to have a social worker who wouldn't let you live in the streets" neighborhood which is for ppl who are physically and/or mentally handicapped & thus, are unable to hold down a job. Extremely LOW income apartments in one big building surrounded by more of the same....believe me, Paul---if I could move out of this neighborhood, I WOULD!! But, hey-----why whine about it? Because YOU sat still long enough to read it!! (smile, Paul! ;-) Jessica Marie et. al. mruk4u wrote: > Hi Jessica, > > YOUR AGORAPHOBIA > > Judging from the sound of your letter...; it seems your own version of > Agoraphobia -(and, I guess, everybody's Agoraphobia symptoms tend to be > different?)- doesn't permanently lock you up inside...as you seem to go > out, too, as well. This is excellent. You have my sympathy when you say > you are living in a real tough area...; as this can make it doubly > difficult to be able to get out there. I used to live in a gang > infested area...and, I had to move to somewhere safer just to be able > to practice going out again. Anyway, all I can say is keep on trying > to go out...; and, don't never give up. It's great too that you have a > partner who helps you/and, of course, vice versa. > > MY AGORAPHOBIA > > As to my own big secret in learning how to overcome 11+ years of > Agoraphobia. Well, frankly, that only came about when I finally > realised that there is no secret to learning to deal with Agoraphobia, > atall(forget books/tapes/psychiatrists/pills/-etc.)...; instead, you > just have to get up/go out/and, basically, just do it...and, keep on > doing it. Not that I'm saying it's easy...especially, at first...but, > the more and more you practice going out...then, the easier and easier > it tends to get...until when you can do it without even thinking about > it, anymore...this is when you know, for sure, you're cured! > > I been Agoraphobic more than once in my life...; at least, > twice(20-21/26-37)...; so, it's always a possibility that it could come > and hit me repeatedly even at anytime? All I can say is I'm just > rejoicing right now that it ain't come back, yet...; from age 38-43+ I > remain fully cured...; and, I'm both hoping and praying that things > will stay that way. > > GOOD LUCK > > Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London) > > PS: Have a NICE day! > ;-)
From: mruk4u on 14 Sep 2006 00:29
Hi Jessica, Currently, I'm unemployed. And, I'm not exactly happy about living where I am at the moment, neither. I always tend to think to myself...I would love to get away...escape from being in the city...and, go live deep inside of the countryside instead. Where life is far more peaceful, carefree, happy, and, where there are plenty of wide open areas of pure 100% greenery! A totally detached house with large fields all around it on 4 sides; thus, having no neighbours to disturb me/or, who I might disturb. Therefore, my guess is that many people are not exactly perfectly pleased about where they are currently living...; however, due to either one unfortunate circumstance or another...they cannout move away very easily. In my own case it's due to a lack of money/but, I also have an elderly mum who's in her 80's...and, I couldn't move her up to the countryside as she couldn't go out for long long walks(countryside streets go on and on and on, simply, forevermore)! Therefore, for now at least cityside seems to be what I'm stuck with; and, loads of ugly concrete jungle(but, at least, there are plenty of parks)! Still dreaming is FREE for everybody...; so I never stop dreaming about moving from here one day, sooner or later. Who knows, maybe, I might win the National Lottery?! Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London) PS: Have a NICE day! ;-) |