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From: Ken McM. on 3 Jan 2008 15:13
One of the Kubler-Ross' stages of grief is anger and the other is
acceptance.

Well I am still angry at the doctors who (mis)handled my Judy's case.
And I feel that to get to acceptance, I must forgive them.
However, I am not ready yet.

So it was with interest that I saw these two articles, one on the pro's
and the other on the pro's AND con's of forgiveness, from a writer of
the Los Angeles Times.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-to.hs.forgive03jan03,0,6347976.story
Is forgiveness divine for body?

http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-to.hs.forgive03bjan03,0,952368.story
The biology of forgiving

Ken
(Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/7)
From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 5 Jan 2008 01:47
On Jan 3, 2:13 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)bcpl.net> wrote:
> One of the Kubler-Ross' stages of grief is anger and the other is
> acceptance.
>
> Well I am still angry at the doctors who (mis)handled my Judy's case.
> And I feel that to get to acceptance, I must forgive them.
> However, I am not ready yet.
>
> So it was with interest that I saw these two articles, one on the pro's
> and the other on the pro's AND con's of forgiveness, from a writer of
> the Los Angeles Times.
>
> http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-to.hs.forgive03jan03,0,63...
> Is forgiveness divine for body?
>
> http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-to.hs.forg...
> The biology of forgiving
>
> Ken
> (Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/7)

Ken:

Thank you for these links. I am going to pass them on to to others.
Yes, forgiveness helps us so much. Again Thank you!

Lynn - Josh's Mom
5-25-1978 to 11-25-2005
From: Crystal's mom on 5 Jan 2008 09:25
On Jan 3, 2:13 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)bcpl.net> wrote:
> One of the Kubler-Ross' stages of grief is anger and the other is
> acceptance.
>
> Well I am still angry at the doctors who (mis)handled my Judy's case.
> And I feel that to get to acceptance, I must forgive them.
> However, I am not ready yet.
>
> So it was with interest that I saw these two articles, one on the pro's
> and the other on the pro's AND con's of forgiveness, from a writer of
> the Los Angeles Times.
>
> http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-to.hs.forgive03jan03,0,63...
> Is forgiveness divine for body?
>
> http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-to.hs.forg...
> The biology of forgiving
>
> Ken
> (Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/7)

To all, these links are no longer valid..I tried.
It's been 5 years and I cannot comprehend the idea of forgiving the
man who murdered my life! That is the truth...when he murdered my
daughter and her family..he murdered my life as well. I think that he
will have to seek forgiveness from his maker and not me and mine..he
can spend eternity in an entirely differrent place than she does if
it's up to me. Don't mean to upset anyone....sorry.....what can I
say; I MISS her dreadfully...the ache is huge today!
Amanda...Crystal's mom
From: Caz on 5 Jan 2008 11:43
Crystal's mom wrote:
> On Jan 3, 2:13 pm, "Ken McM." <kmcmonig-removes...(a)bcpl.net> wrote:
>
>> One of the Kubler-Ross' stages of grief is anger and the other is
>> acceptance.
>>
>> Well I am still angry at the doctors who (mis)handled my Judy's case.
>> And I feel that to get to acceptance, I must forgive them.
>> However, I am not ready yet.
>>
>> So it was with interest that I saw these two articles, one on the pro's
>> and the other on the pro's AND con's of forgiveness, from a writer of
>> the Los Angeles Times.
>>
>> http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-to.hs.forgive03jan03,0,63...
>> Is forgiveness divine for body?
>>
>> http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-to.hs.forg...
>> The biology of forgiving
>>
>> Ken
>> (Judy - 11/18/50 - 11/7/7)
>>
>
> To all, these links are no longer valid..I tried.
> It's been 5 years and I cannot comprehend the idea of forgiving the
> man who murdered my life! That is the truth...when he murdered my
> daughter and her family..he murdered my life as well. I think that he
> will have to seek forgiveness from his maker and not me and mine..he
> can spend eternity in an entirely differrent place than she does if
> it's up to me. Don't mean to upset anyone....sorry.....what can I
> say; I MISS her dreadfully...the ache is huge today!
> Amanda...Crystal's mom
>
Dear Amanda.

You do not need to apologize to anyone. Your feeling are yours and you
have every right to them.

Best wishes and ((hugs))

Caz.
Scott's mom
From: donna on 5 Jan 2008 12:11
dear amanda,

i was able to follow the links; don't know why but they were still up
when i checked.

you don't need to apologise, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' to how we
feel. some may disagree but all emotions are valid.

forgiveness. ouch. this is a tough, tough topic for me. i've spent
many hours internally raging against those i've held responsibe for
savannah's death. it was so preventable ... her father, the doctors,
the hospital; so blind to her illness. and now she is gone forever,
just like your beautiful crystal.

the two articles ken sent to us tell of the mind-body connection. how
anger affects us physically and how forgiveness helps our bodies. i'd
heard of this years ago, i remember an experiment done at a university
with students and their immune systems. after watching a film on the
actions of mother theresa, their immune systerms were boosted ... and
this was whether or not they held the same belief idealogy. it seems
that even just seeing acts of compassion we are made healthier.

BUT, i have not wanted to forgive. it has felt like to forgive would
be to dishonor my child. to abandon the importance of her life. am i
making any sense at all? it's so hard to put into print what my heart
and body are saying.

now i am going to try and work on forgiving myself. because,
ultimately, i was as responsible as any other person for this
tragedy. if i had forced and pushed we would have known about her
heart defect but i allowed her, as an adult, to make decisions and she
wasn't capable. i could have been a better mother. a better person.
i was human and made mistakes and my bright light was extinguished
forever from this earth.

gentle thoughts for you, my friend.

donna
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