From: S G on 11 Jul 2010 00:26
Thank-you for caring enough to respond so quickly. Your advice is much
appreciated. It helps to know that this behavior is not uncommon. That's
_it_ exactly....her "inhibitions" are gone. Proven also by this...she
always had a beautiful singing voice, but only sang in our home, (she
never sang in public). Now, she sings constantly, in front of everyone,
and to anyone, ( she can't remember the words to a song. so she just
sings whatever words come into her mind). She absolutely loves _all_ the
As for the Nursing Home she live in.....I am quite satisfied with it.
She is on an Alzheimers floor. It's not "Home", where I wish she could
be, but, it's a good place. I visit her every other day. I make sure
her care is up to par. I'm very involved. The supervisor told me it's
their policy to notify the family of any incident that takes place. They
even called when they noticed a small bruise on her thumb. I do
understand what you're saying.....for _my_ sake, it would probably be
better _not_ knowing _some_ things.
They do try to distract her from pursuing the men....so do I. I don't
know if they are keeping track of when she is likely to become more
sexual. Umm...I'll look into that. Maybe there is a triger. The men all
look very different from each other. Honestly, I don't think it matter
what they look like. I will speak to her doctor about the possiblity of
giving her a med. to calm her down.
One of the reasons I asked for your input is.....I spend allot of my
time while there with the other residents also, and I don't see any
women going after men, like my mother does. I've only seen men doing
that. And, she is one person I would least expect this behavior from.
I've gone over and over with this in my mind. I've wondered....could it
be "security" she's looking for? Is that far fetched? Wondering what you
all think about that.
Thank-you all again, for being there. Sorry you all had to go through
the heartache we all share.
Take care and God bless.
From: Lynn Lynn on 12 Jul 2010 12:55
I am so sorry for what you are having to endure. It is so painful to
watch our loved ones turn into someone we really don't know and who
doesn't know us.
While I didn't incur the "sexual" problems with Mom (she was just alone
with me and no men around), she would accuse me of lying to her. She
would also accuse my 7 year old grandson of stealing her watch. This
hurt him terribly because he is such a loving compassionate child. He
finally saw how she got "all mixed up" (in his words) and did not take
Mom passed last September and, to this day, I still want MY Mom back
just for a few minutes so we can remember each other as we once were.
That's not going to happen so all I can do is have compassion for others
who are going through the trials and tribulations of this horrifying
My best to you and just know you are definitely not alone.
This is a wonderful place to come hide, vent, get a hug, etc. so stop in
From: S G on 15 Jul 2010 22:20
Jayees, that was a wonderful story. I don't want you all to think I
don't enjoy my Mom. I wouldn't want you to think that at all. We do have
some wonderful times together. I sing with her, and I laugh with her.
She can be quite funny at times. You all know how it is....at times the
"confusion" can be quite funny. Oh, and last year she was chosen
"Valentine Queen" there at the nursing home.. Her picure was in the
newspaper. She had a crown, and a red satin robe...the whole bit. They
had a party. It was a really enjoyable day. She didn't comprehend what
the fuss was all about, but, she loved the attention. She thought the
"King" was her boyfriend, (she had never met him before).
There are wonderful moments......even if it is for "the moment". I live
in "that moment" with her.
It's the "next moment" that can be hard.
Thanks for sharing Jayees.