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From: saavik on 5 Oct 2005 12:19
What Janey and everyone said! and one more thing. You are welcome here.

Whenever you feel like talking, you will find people here willing to listen and
share there experiences or just send a hug.
{{{{{Katie}}}}}

Margo

Katie wrote:

> I go to doctors with my fibromyalgia and my weight problem and not a single
> one of them has any idea even where to start. I feel totally abandoned with
> this problem. I just cannot get along with any doctors or find one who has
> any good ideas about what I could do to feel better. They even tend to make
> me feel everything's my fault. So what if it is? Can't they help at all?
> Can't they do their jobs? If they can't do their jobs, can they be honest
> enough to admit it? Why don't they just say "I don't accept patients with
> fibromyalgia." ?
>
> None of them even seems to believe me when I say that I have been gaining
> weight for no good reason. (4 kilos a year since 1999) So I try another
> doctor and am once again disappointed and have wasted my time and energy
> (especially emotional energy).
>
> I get so angry about this I could scream. In fact I did scream in the shower
> this morning: "I HATE YOU GOD!" I'm sorry if that is offending, but that's
> how desperate I feel. I even got angry with my therapist/psychologist so now
> I am truly alone. I can't believe I went to him so long and all along he
> was just an incompetent guy who only wanted to show off all his knowledge.
> You know how guys are... they only want to talk about themselves.
>
> Anyway I'm rambling. I know I don't post here much so I don't deserve any
> support. Just to let you know I am with you in spirit. Another sufferer of
> this illness that nobody wants to hear about.
>
> Katie

From: Janey Pooh on 5 Oct 2005 12:51

Katie wrote:
> "Janey Pooh" <janepooh(a)la.shockware.com> a écrit dans le message de news:
> 1128516816.718802.106270(a)g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Thanks so much. You have brought tears to my eyes with your hugs. I know
> your situation is worse than mine, but I really lose it sometimes... thanks
> again.
>
> Katie

Ah, sweet Katie. I need to say something to you and to everybody else
who thinks this way about *my* situation . . .

Your situation is every bit as important, serious and *worthy* of
support as mine - to you. I see this kind of comment a lot and while I
understand where it's coming from and appreciate the thought, I also
think it's really important not to hold me up as a 'guideline' for how
much support, understanding and {{HUGS}} one is entitled to.

I come to this newsgroup because I have fibromyalgia but, in fact, I
feel like I'm MUCH better off where *that* is concerned than many (make
that MOST) other people who post here. I've been talking about my
aneurysm, epilepsy and such cuz that's what happened to me and it's an
unavoidable part of my life now - but I'm posting to a Fibro group and
don't expect or deserve any more support than anyone else here.

Plus, one can ALWAYS find someone else who is *worse off* than them,
but that doesn't mean they don't deserve support. For instance, there
are MANY MANY people in Louisiana who are worse off than me right now.
They deserve support. But that doesn't mean I deserve LESS support
from the people *I* interact with. There are TONS of people in poor
countries all over the world whose suffering is far greater than any of
ours - but that does not mean WE should not expect and receive support.

I implore every single person reading this right now to Put Themselves
First. Doesn't mean I don't want you to reply to MY posts and give me
support when I ask for it (or obviously NEED it but don't seem to be
asking ;o) What it means is - Don't judge your own situation by
comparing it to anyone else's. Judge your own situation based on your
own feelings about YOU. If you feel bad, you ALL should be able to SAY
SO!!! Please don't EVER think something like, "I'd say something, ask
for help, but Jane has it so much worse than I do. How can I
complain?"

My situation is not necessarily *worse* than yours, Katie. It's just
different. We both deserve {{{{{{Katie and Jane}}}}}} hugs and I'm
always happy to give and receive them when I can. :o) Same goes for
pretty much everyone on this group.

'Kay, Rant Over.

Take GOOD Care and lots of {{{HUGS}}}

Janey

From: Charrlygrl1 on 5 Oct 2005 13:06
Katie, I am sorry for what you are going through.
I am currently on my third rheumatologist, and this one is finally a
keeper.
It truly is frustrating when the docs don't believe you, or dimiss your
complaints as whining-this is what happened to me. They CERTAINLY
dislike being questioned about any of their decisions or statements.
I do think a food diary is a good idea, if you can do it. I've kept a
pain journal for almost 2 years now (it took 2.5 for me to get a
correct diagnosis). I log everything that I have going on, which body
parts, what type of pain, etc...
Prior to going to an appointment, I jot down a list of the specific
issues that are concerning me, and whatever questions I may have as
well. I think a lot of my problems at first (the first year???) were
because I was getting so emotional and so frustrated with the docs.
(How can they expect you not to get emotional when your life is
gradually being stolen from you-things you can no longer do because of
the pain, the docs that think you're a whiner because they initially
cannot find anything wrong, the frustration that no one believes you,
or if they do, don't do anything about it-how can you be anything other
than frustrated and emotional??) On my third doc, I was able to keep
better control of myself...plus, (this is a BIG ONE) he looked me IN
THE EYES, set out a plan, and then (another BIG ONE)asked me what I
thought of it!! I was so relieved and grateful to have a doctor,
finally, willing to do his job and work on the problems with me. I can
only hope and pray that you can hang in there and find a doctor capable
and worthy of you.
I also can't get over these docs saying something like "Oh, you're
overweight, there's nothing I can do to help you". I wonder if they say
that to smokers who get lung cancer ...though I know they don't,
because my Dad just died of lung cancer despite his doc's best efforts.

I'm definitely sorry that you are being treated so shabbily, it's just
not right.
Again, I hope that you can find someone worthy of their profession to
help you through this tough time.
((Katie))
Charlene

From: MikesBrain on 5 Oct 2005 13:11
2005-10-05, Responding to Janey Pooh...

[...]
>
> I implore every single person reading this right now to
> Put Themselves First. Doesn't mean I don't want you to
> reply to MY posts and give me support when I ask for it
> (or obviously NEED it but don't seem to be asking ;o) What
> it means is - Don't judge your own situation by comparing
> it to anyone else's. Judge your own situation based on
> your own feelings about YOU. If you feel bad, you ALL
> should be able to SAY SO!!! Please don't EVER think
> something like, "I'd say something, ask for help, but Jane
> has it so much worse than I do. How can I complain?"
>


The logic of this, while being self-evident, is all too easy
to pass by when in distress. You're absolutely right, and
I've not seen it put as well as this before.


--
----
* Another squeaking wheel @ http://tinyurl.com/6bf56
* Mike's (curious) Brain @ http://tinyurl.com/4872c
- Have a nice day, it really does do you good! :)
From: Mercy on 5 Oct 2005 13:53
I know this sounds like a trite question; especially looking back at what
everybody else has said but.... are you on any antidepressant? Having
clinical depression myself, I immediately identified with your thought
patterns when I am in a serious depressive episode. If I do not take
adequate depression medication, EVERYTHING looks grim to me and I feel
hopeless. It is because of a chemical imbalance. Can you talk to your dr.
about this? I have found from past experience, that drs. and even
counselors do not recognize the need for an antidepressant. I even got my
mom to start taking them. It has helped her considerably. She is more
upbeat and able to cope with her serious health issues better. I don't
think that drugs are the answer for everything but sometimes they can help.
I wouldn't even think of going off my antidepressants or I would start
spiraling downward to the point where everything look really grim to me.
Can you please consider this?

And, this is the right place for you to be for support Katie. We don't
count posts here and if you need/want to speak out, complain, whine...
whatever, this is the place to do so. Take care and I truly hope you can
find the help you so much want and need. I prefer women drs. and counselors
too because they can at least identify a little better with what may be
going on with you. But, it doesn't necessarily guarantee they are any more
competent. I guess I have been fortunate enough to find the right drs. for
me. I am also very up front with my drs. and tell them when I don't think
some type of med or treatment is working as it should and I want to try
another. My drs. seem to like that I am pro-active in my own health care.
It takes time to build a rapport with your drs. But, first and foremost, I
think your depression needs to be managed better. Depression is very often
a part of fibro .... many of us are taking antidepressants. Best of luck
Katie.

Nettie

"Katie" <vfolle(a)yahoo.fr> wrote in message
news:43439a23$0$1163$5402220f(a)news.sunrise.ch...
>I go to doctors with my fibromyalgia and my weight problem and not a
single
> one of them has any idea even where to start. I feel totally abandoned
with
> this problem. I just cannot get along with any doctors or find one who
has
> any good ideas about what I could do to feel better. They even tend to
make
> me feel everything's my fault. So what if it is? Can't they help at all?
> Can't they do their jobs? If they can't do their jobs, can they be
honest
> enough to admit it? Why don't they just say "I don't accept patients
with
> fibromyalgia." ?
>
> None of them even seems to believe me when I say that I have been
gaining
> weight for no good reason. (4 kilos a year since 1999) So I try another
> doctor and am once again disappointed and have wasted my time and energy
> (especially emotional energy).
>
> I get so angry about this I could scream. In fact I did scream in the
shower
> this morning: "I HATE YOU GOD!" I'm sorry if that is offending, but
that's
> how desperate I feel. I even got angry with my therapist/psychologist so
now
> I am truly alone. I can't believe I went to him so long and all along
he
> was just an incompetent guy who only wanted to show off all his
knowledge.
> You know how guys are... they only want to talk about themselves.
>
> Anyway I'm rambling. I know I don't post here much so I don't deserve
any
> support. Just to let you know I am with you in spirit. Another sufferer
of
> this illness that nobody wants to hear about.
>
> Katie
>
>


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