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From: wong_brianandrew on 17 Jan 2007 21:29
On Monday, December 6, 2004, my mother died at 11:15 a.m. from
melanoma.

Now this week was the week when her cancer returned. And the events
started to unfold.

On President Day 2004, my mom had a biopsy. She was experiencing pain
in her left armpit (axila) in December 2003. The Wednesday after
Presidents Day2004, the results came back as positive of malignant
melanoma. We were recommended to a very well-known melanoma specialist
oncologist at a cancer center in Pittsburgh. The oncologist
immediately put my mom on Interferon alfa-2b. (Interferon is a
naturally produced agent by the body to help with the immune system.
However, my mom was not producing enough Interferon to fight
thecancer.) Every Monday morning my mom would receive high doses of
Interferon. Then on other days my mom would receive the doses at home
at the Lombardi Cancer Center at Georgetown University Hospital.

By April, my mom was finished with the high-doses of interferon. She
received the self-injecting material.

By July-August, my mom went to Pittsburgh and told the oncologist of
the devistating side effects of Interferon and oncologist decided to
take my mom off and to just monitor closely every two months.

Then in mid October, the melanoma returned. She was admitted to
Georgetown University Hospital, just walking distance from our house.
She was on many pain-killing drugs and the fact that three or more
doctors at a time were asking her questions overwhelmed her. From
that, we learned about University Hospitals. (My mom was on
Chemotherapy pills. She began feeling pain in her liver area. The
melanoma spread to the lungs and liver.)

After school was out, I would walk to the hospital to visit my mom
where my dad was with her. On the Tuesday before Halloween, my dad
told me that the oncologist at Lombardi Cancer Center looked at my
mom's scans and concluded that there was nothing that medicine could
do to keep the cancer from spreading.

For the first two nights, I slept beside my mom on an easy chair while
my dad slept in the cancer ward's waiting room. It was hard to sleep,
because the nurse (who I actually had a crush on) kept coming in.
Also, a school mate of mine and my mom's former piano student, was an
intern at the hospital and happened to be assigned to the ward my mom
was in. So she would spend most of her time sitting with my mom, dad,
and I.

Once when we found out that my mom was not going to make it, I
suggested to my mom call my grandparents' minister. We called Pastor.
Pastor said that he would be stand by while we tell grandparents the
news. After the call to grandparents, Pastor came over.

When I returned to school, I was very depressed. I was waiting in the
chorus room with my classmates before first period class started. My
chorus teacher, who was a good friend of my mom's, was sympathetic of
my emotional pain. Everyone noticed at once that something was wrong
with me, because I am usually very, very perky (sometimes to the point
that I am annoying), and I was very quiet and looked sad. My chorus
teacher sent me up to the principals office who shares with the high
school division social worker. The principal took me home. He took me
in his car. He said, "I can only imagine what you're going through,
what's going on inside." I later learned that when he was fifteen, he
lost his father. (I was fifteen years old then.)

When I got home, my maternal aunt and I went back to the hospital. My
aunt came down from Alaska to help take care of my mom. Originally, my
mom was going to the NIH here in Washington, DC for treatment. But
however, before we began, it was too late.

Before I mentioned my schoolmate whose currently position on her
internship there. Her father was the former director of Cardiology at
Georgetown University Hospital. He and his wife recommended a hospice
that would allow patients to stay at home if desired.

We began taking my mom to a psychic in hopes of seeing the future and
healing my mom through meditation. We also tried acupuncture and
Chinese herbal medicine. (The acupuncturist has mostly cancer
patients, who need acupuncture to help boost the immune system, as the
immune system is weakened with cancer-like treatments.) In hearing the
wonders of Eastern Medicine practices for cancer patients, we were
hopeful that my mom would recover.

On Wednesday, November 3, 2004, my mom's best friend and colleague, my
accordion teacher. He is the Sergeant Major of the U.S. Army Band
Strolling Strings "Pershing's Own." He brought the strings over to our
house for a party. The U.S. Army Strings saluted my mom. Originally
they were booked at another gig, but the Col. Lamb knew my mom well
and really marveled at my mom's accomplishments (especially being the
First Femalr Sergeant Major to lead the U.S. Army Band Strolling
Strings) that he allowed the strings to attend to my mom's musical
therapy needs.

I would sometimes sleep over at the hospice with my dad. My
grandparents also came in town to visit my mom. My aunt went back home
to Alaska.

Our minister at the time was taking care of the spiritual needs of my
mom. She came over frequently to my mom, at home and at the hospice
unit. (My mom once did have to go to the Hospice Unit for palliative
medicine changes.)

Then on Monday, December 6, 2004, I was waiting in the hall for
Algebra 1 class to begin. The principal said come with him. We road
the elevator down. He walked me to the front of the building outside.
When I saw my dad, I knew my mom died. "She passed away," my dad said
very sadly. We immediately went to the hospice to be with my mom's
body before the mortician came. I stayed alone in the room with her
for two hours.

The next day, my dad met our minister at the funeral home. Joseph
Gawlers. We made all the arrangements with the advice of our minister
Melinda.

We had the funeral two weeks later, so it would give everyone time to
come. (Ret. Lt. Col. T. Cason came in from Los Angeles, he worked with
my mom when he was conducting the band "Pershing's Own.")

I played the accordion while my cousin Monica, on my dad's side played
the piano. At the funeral we played, "Oblivion" by Astor Piazzolla,
one of his most famous compositions. I gave a eulogy and my dad gave
one too, with me convincing him.

On Monday, December 20, 2004, my mom was interred in section 34 at
Arlington National Cemetery. With the band that my mom was in, in the
Army, they worked closely with Arlington Cemetery. My mom retired in
1997/1998. She was permanently stationed at Fort Myer, on the same
grounds as Arlington National Cemetery. That is how we got a burial
date so soon. However, we were supposed to have a military funerary
band at the burial service, but it was too cold.

My mom's death was the most emotionally painful experience that I have
so far experienced. I have a hard time practicing accordion now,
because she was always their practicing with me and whenever we had a
problem that was specific to the accordion, we would ask my teacher,
Manny Bobenrieth. I don't practice that much. It seems like the second
year is harder.

My dad and I joined a support group in February 2004 for a hospice in
Montgomery County Maryland. Then we went to another support group at
the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing (wendtcenter. org).

No more music in our house from her. However, I think my dad and I
received an after-death- communication event from my mom. One time we
were eating dinner in the kitchen at the exhaust fan went off in the
stove. I tried to turn it off, but it was already in the off position.
About ten minutes later, my dad went to turn of the circuit breaker
for the exhaust fan. Approximately five minutes later, the fan turned
off. (This happening was about in late September 2006.) I have read
just the first chapter of "Hello From Heaven" and did some online
researching about the paranormal and saw A Haunting and Mosted Haunted
on the Travel and Discovery channels and talked about after death
communication.

I miss my mom. She was only 54 years old. I need her.

From: skubik on 18 Jan 2007 02:28
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I lost my Mom at a young age too. It will be ten years ago this
September. I know exactly how you feel though- and it does get easier
with time. But there is a healing process and the process sometimes is
long and hard- but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just know
that she probably doesn't want to see you suffer because of her either-
she would want you to move forward with your life.
Lately I've felt like I've 'needed' my Mom too- despite not having had
her for almost a decade. I don't think you ever truly get past that- it
just becomes less and less of an influence in your daily life. The
truth is, whenever you do 'need' her- she is already with you.
Sometimes I know that isn't very comforting if you can't talk to her,
or see her- but listen closely to your thoughts- you'll hear her again.
I must say I didn't expect to see a posting like this in the pet-loss
group- but nonetheless, your story really struck a nerve with me, so I
thought it would only be appropriate to respond- regardless of which ng
it's posted to.
Take care!

- skubik.


wong_brianandrew(a)yahoo.com wrote:
> On Monday, December 6, 2004, my mother died at 11:15 a.m. from
> melanoma.
>
> Now this week was the week when her cancer returned. And the events
> started to unfold.
>
> On President Day 2004, my mom had a biopsy. She was experiencing pain
> in her left armpit (axila) in December 2003. The Wednesday after
> Presidents Day2004, the results came back as positive of malignant
> melanoma. We were recommended to a very well-known melanoma specialist
> oncologist at a cancer center in Pittsburgh. The oncologist
> immediately put my mom on Interferon alfa-2b. (Interferon is a
> naturally produced agent by the body to help with the immune system.
> However, my mom was not producing enough Interferon to fight
> thecancer.) Every Monday morning my mom would receive high doses of
> Interferon. Then on other days my mom would receive the doses at home
> at the Lombardi Cancer Center at Georgetown University Hospital.
>
> By April, my mom was finished with the high-doses of interferon. She
> received the self-injecting material.
>
> By July-August, my mom went to Pittsburgh and told the oncologist of
> the devistating side effects of Interferon and oncologist decided to
> take my mom off and to just monitor closely every two months.
>
> Then in mid October, the melanoma returned. She was admitted to
> Georgetown University Hospital, just walking distance from our house.
> She was on many pain-killing drugs and the fact that three or more
> doctors at a time were asking her questions overwhelmed her. From
> that, we learned about University Hospitals. (My mom was on
> Chemotherapy pills. She began feeling pain in her liver area. The
> melanoma spread to the lungs and liver.)
>
> After school was out, I would walk to the hospital to visit my mom
> where my dad was with her. On the Tuesday before Halloween, my dad
> told me that the oncologist at Lombardi Cancer Center looked at my
> mom's scans and concluded that there was nothing that medicine could
> do to keep the cancer from spreading.
>
> For the first two nights, I slept beside my mom on an easy chair while
> my dad slept in the cancer ward's waiting room. It was hard to sleep,
> because the nurse (who I actually had a crush on) kept coming in.
> Also, a school mate of mine and my mom's former piano student, was an
> intern at the hospital and happened to be assigned to the ward my mom
> was in. So she would spend most of her time sitting with my mom, dad,
> and I.
>
> Once when we found out that my mom was not going to make it, I
> suggested to my mom call my grandparents' minister. We called Pastor.
> Pastor said that he would be stand by while we tell grandparents the
> news. After the call to grandparents, Pastor came over.
>
> When I returned to school, I was very depressed. I was waiting in the
> chorus room with my classmates before first period class started. My
> chorus teacher, who was a good friend of my mom's, was sympathetic of
> my emotional pain. Everyone noticed at once that something was wrong
> with me, because I am usually very, very perky (sometimes to the point
> that I am annoying), and I was very quiet and looked sad. My chorus
> teacher sent me up to the principals office who shares with the high
> school division social worker. The principal took me home. He took me
> in his car. He said, "I can only imagine what you're going through,
> what's going on inside." I later learned that when he was fifteen, he
> lost his father. (I was fifteen years old then.)
>
> When I got home, my maternal aunt and I went back to the hospital. My
> aunt came down from Alaska to help take care of my mom. Originally, my
> mom was going to the NIH here in Washington, DC for treatment. But
> however, before we began, it was too late.
>
> Before I mentioned my schoolmate whose currently position on her
> internship there. Her father was the former director of Cardiology at
> Georgetown University Hospital. He and his wife recommended a hospice
> that would allow patients to stay at home if desired.
>
> We began taking my mom to a psychic in hopes of seeing the future and
> healing my mom through meditation. We also tried acupuncture and
> Chinese herbal medicine. (The acupuncturist has mostly cancer
> patients, who need acupuncture to help boost the immune system, as the
> immune system is weakened with cancer-like treatments.) In hearing the
> wonders of Eastern Medicine practices for cancer patients, we were
> hopeful that my mom would recover.
>
> On Wednesday, November 3, 2004, my mom's best friend and colleague, my
> accordion teacher. He is the Sergeant Major of the U.S. Army Band
> Strolling Strings "Pershing's Own." He brought the strings over to our
> house for a party. The U.S. Army Strings saluted my mom. Originally
> they were booked at another gig, but the Col. Lamb knew my mom well
> and really marveled at my mom's accomplishments (especially being the
> First Femalr Sergeant Major to lead the U.S. Army Band Strolling
> Strings) that he allowed the strings to attend to my mom's musical
> therapy needs.
>
> I would sometimes sleep over at the hospice with my dad. My
> grandparents also came in town to visit my mom. My aunt went back home
> to Alaska.
>
> Our minister at the time was taking care of the spiritual needs of my
> mom. She came over frequently to my mom, at home and at the hospice
> unit. (My mom once did have to go to the Hospice Unit for palliative
> medicine changes.)
>
> Then on Monday, December 6, 2004, I was waiting in the hall for
> Algebra 1 class to begin. The principal said come with him. We road
> the elevator down. He walked me to the front of the building outside.
> When I saw my dad, I knew my mom died. "She passed away," my dad said
> very sadly. We immediately went to the hospice to be with my mom's
> body before the mortician came. I stayed alone in the room with her
> for two hours.
>
> The next day, my dad met our minister at the funeral home. Joseph
> Gawlers. We made all the arrangements with the advice of our minister
> Melinda.
>
> We had the funeral two weeks later, so it would give everyone time to
> come. (Ret. Lt. Col. T. Cason came in from Los Angeles, he worked with
> my mom when he was conducting the band "Pershing's Own.")
>
> I played the accordion while my cousin Monica, on my dad's side played
> the piano. At the funeral we played, "Oblivion" by Astor Piazzolla,
> one of his most famous compositions. I gave a eulogy and my dad gave
> one too, with me convincing him.
>
> On Monday, December 20, 2004, my mom was interred in section 34 at
> Arlington National Cemetery. With the band that my mom was in, in the
> Army, they worked closely with Arlington Cemetery. My mom retired in
> 1997/1998. She was permanently stationed at Fort Myer, on the same
> grounds as Arlington National Cemetery. That is how we got a burial
> date so soon. However, we were supposed to have a military funerary
> band at the burial service, but it was too cold.
>
> My mom's death was the most emotionally painful experience that I have
> so far experienced. I have a hard time practicing accordion now,
> because she was always their practicing with me and whenever we had a
> problem that was specific to the accordion, we would ask my teacher,
> Manny Bobenrieth. I don't practice that much. It seems like the second
> year is harder.
>
> My dad and I joined a support group in February 2004 for a hospice in
> Montgomery County Maryland. Then we went to another support group at
> the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing (wendtcenter. org).
>
> No more music in our house from her. However, I think my dad and I
> received an after-death- communication event from my mom. One time we
> were eating dinner in the kitchen at the exhaust fan went off in the
> stove. I tried to turn it off, but it was already in the off position.
> About ten minutes later, my dad went to turn of the circuit breaker
> for the exhaust fan. Approximately five minutes later, the fan turned
> off. (This happening was about in late September 2006.) I have read
> just the first chapter of "Hello From Heaven" and did some online
> researching about the paranormal and saw A Haunting and Mosted Haunted
> on the Travel and Discovery channels and talked about after death
> communication.
>
> I miss my mom. She was only 54 years old. I need her.

 | 
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