Prev: Family death
Next: Bill Chadwick
From: Liliana on 8 Mar 2007 10:01
I don;t know whether I want to go to her memorial service. Her step
mother who I never met called me twice. She found a cheque I had
given her to help out with rent. She didn't even cash the cheque I
gave her a month ago. My friends say... see how you feel at the last
minute. I feel so angry that she did this to herself. Her mother's
ashes were still in the apartment with her. She couldn't even bury
her mother!!!
I went to see me doctor that I have not seen in 2 years. She said my
friend became her illness... like a cancer that can't be stopped. I
have stored some of her stuff in my house. I can't stand looking at
it.
I am so tired . Why do some people lead a charmed life with not one
thing bad happening? Yes... I know those people... they have lived
into their 70's 80's with surrounded by family and friends, never
having to bury a child or a friend from an untimely death. I don't
wish anyone harm, but why does so much pain and despair fall on one
little family?

From: Fi on 8 Mar 2007 14:33
"Liliana" <xena.w(a)rogers.com> wrote in message
news:1173366106.203399.224950(a)30g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
> I don;t know whether I want to go to her memorial service. Her step
> mother who I never met called me twice. She found a cheque I had
> given her to help out with rent. She didn't even cash the cheque I
> gave her a month ago. My friends say... see how you feel at the last
> minute. I feel so angry that she did this to herself. Her mother's
> ashes were still in the apartment with her. She couldn't even bury
> her mother!!!
> I went to see me doctor that I have not seen in 2 years. She said my
> friend became her illness... like a cancer that can't be stopped. I
> have stored some of her stuff in my house. I can't stand looking at
> it.
> I am so tired . Why do some people lead a charmed life with not one
> thing bad happening? Yes... I know those people... they have lived
> into their 70's 80's with surrounded by family and friends, never
> having to bury a child or a friend from an untimely death. I don't
> wish anyone harm, but why does so much pain and despair fall on one
> little family?
>

First I want to say how sorry I am about your friend.

You are very angry at her now but I think in time this will fade. Anger is a
normal response to death and sometimes that anger is directed at the loved
one. Just make sure that you deal with that anger - don't let it rule your
memories of her. There are a lot of resources online for survivors of
suicide, I think you'll find them helpful in understanding her illness.
Because that's what depression is, an illness. And sometimes even medication
and loving friends are not enough to keep it from being fatal.

Just my 2 cents: Go to the memorial service. It will be difficult and
emotional but it's better than looking back and regretting that you didn't
say goodbye.

And please, take care of yourself. Take some time to focus on your own
health - physical and emotional.

Fi



From: Daisy on 8 Mar 2007 21:00
Liliana wrote:
> I don;t know whether I want to go to her memorial service. Her step
> mother who I never met called me twice. She found a cheque I had
> given her to help out with rent. She didn't even cash the cheque I
> gave her a month ago. My friends say... see how you feel at the last
> minute. I feel so angry that she did this to herself. Her mother's
> ashes were still in the apartment with her. She couldn't even bury
> her mother!!!
> I went to see me doctor that I have not seen in 2 years. She said my
> friend became her illness... like a cancer that can't be stopped. I
> have stored some of her stuff in my house. I can't stand looking at
> it.
> I am so tired . Why do some people lead a charmed life with not one
> thing bad happening? Yes... I know those people... they have lived
> into their 70's 80's with surrounded by family and friends, never
> having to bury a child or a friend from an untimely death. I don't
> wish anyone harm, but why does so much pain and despair fall on one
> little family?
>
Liliana, all I can tell you is what my therapist told me after Buster
died, she told me to always do what I know is the right thing to do, not
what I want to do, and it has never steered me wrong. I'm so sorry you
are going through this pain, and it isn't fair you are right.

Daisy
From: only me on 8 Mar 2007 21:53
I agree with the others, go to the service, keep the good times in your
mind. I too, as awful as it may sound, am so angry at my daughter
sometimes, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, for leaving 2
sweet sons to grow up without her, they need her & she's not here for
them. I get angry when I see them cry for her, when I cry for her. I
think of all the life she had left to live, all the things she never got
to do. I know, of course, its not really her fault, bu I still get so
mad, she broke my heart by leavng us forever, & we all have to deal with
alot because she's gone. I feel awful when I get these angry feelings,
but I can't help it, she was needed here. All the "if only's", that are
on my mind, I guess I am probably not really mad at her & yet I am. Does
that even make any sense to anyone out there? Such mixed emotions, I
can't even explain them. I adored her & she's not here, that makes me
mad. Please, for your own sake & peac of mind, go to the service, you
did what you could to help her, she just gave up, she would want you
there, I am sure. Living with regrets you may feel later on is more
difficult, be there for your friend one more time, you'll be glad you
did. Take care, I'll be thinking of you. Pat

 | 
Pages: 1
Prev: Family death
Next: Bill Chadwick