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From: Ricki on 1 Feb 2006 21:08
Hi,

This is my 1st post. I stumbled accross this newsgroup hoping to find
the answer to this question.

How much Temazepam is required to kill myself?

I am currently on 40mg nightly to help, anti-psychotics, SSRI's and
Benzo's.

I have about 100+ Temazepam 40mg tablets. Would taking all of them do
the job?

I always thought suicide was a cry for help but the NHS doesn't hear me
shouting. I know it will hurt others around me but I figure me living
is hurting them and I can't bear what I'm going through amymore.

I have had many thoughts about to turn off the lights. Such as hanging
after taking my meds so I just slip and hang myself when they
eventually kick in. A high speed car accident into something solid.
Car fumes. Jumping in front of a train. The tablet option seems to be
the easiest and pain free way, also people who find me wont get half as
upset... they would also know why I did it.

By the way, I have taken 40mg and woke up within 2 hours, took another
40mg and again woke up and took another 40mg. I slept through the
night but now I don't want to. I also want to make sure I use enough
so I'm not left with more damage whilst being alive.

Thanks

Rick

From: Rose Marie Holt on 1 Feb 2006 23:12
In article <1138846104.461600.172910(a)z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"Ricki" <rickilc(a)aol.com> wrote:

> Hi,
>
> This is my 1st post. I stumbled accross this newsgroup hoping to find
> the answer to this question.
>
> How much Temazepam is required to kill myself?
>
> I am currently on 40mg nightly to help, anti-psychotics, SSRI's and
> Benzo's.
>
> I have about 100+ Temazepam 40mg tablets. Would taking all of them do
> the job?
>
> I always thought suicide was a cry for help but the NHS doesn't hear me
> shouting. I know it will hurt others around me but I figure me living
> is hurting them and I can't bear what I'm going through amymore.
>
> I have had many thoughts about to turn off the lights. Such as hanging
> after taking my meds so I just slip and hang myself when they
> eventually kick in. A high speed car accident into something solid.
> Car fumes. Jumping in front of a train. The tablet option seems to be
> the easiest and pain free way, also people who find me wont get half as
> upset... they would also know why I did it.
>
> By the way, I have taken 40mg and woke up within 2 hours, took another
> 40mg and again woke up and took another 40mg. I slept through the
> night but now I don't want to. I also want to make sure I use enough
> so I'm not left with more damage whilst being alive.
>
> Thanks
>
> Rick

Taking benzos will not kill you. No, I am not going to tell you what
will.

One of the most effective things I have read is a quote from someone who
survived a jump from the Golden Gate Bridge:

I realized as I passed the rail that there was nothing in my life so bad
that I couldnt deal with it.

Lucky him, he got another chance.

Nobody understands suicides except other suicides.

It requires a tremendous act of faith, not to mention a lot of energy,
to get through these feelings. Sometimes we just have to gut them out.
Well, we dont *have* to. It takes an act of faith to tell ourselves
that we have to.

If you dont have anyone, and cant trust yourself, call 911 and get
yourself to an ER, OK? Give up your troubles to someone else (the ER
staff, for example). Let someone else carry the trouble for you.
From: Greg Barb Cook on 3 Feb 2006 04:05
Oh Ricki, sorry you are finding or looking for death to be a friend. PTSD is
a very lonely experience and death was a companion travelling with me for a
few years.

I am a nurse and I used to dish out temazepams like lollies. It wasn't until
I was so sick with lack of sleep- hypervigilence was a cruel enemy as I was
injured on nightshift- that I started to experiment with many drugs.
Temazepam was one I was prescribed. You know what happens- if I take one
more, oh heck its only 20 minutes, I took two I will take a few more and so
on. I also tried adding others to make a nice numbing cocktail. Why am I
telling you this well basically I took 10 one night and a few more nights, I
had fitful sleep if you can call PTSD sleep, 'woke up' throat as dry as a
cocky's cage and a really sore head. Did it make difference NO. Sure I had
peace or a sense of calm but I hated the loss of control. I hated what PTSD
had made me do. I was isolating and numbing myself so nobody could hurt me
anymore.
Ricki can you find a safe space? A space where nobody asks anything of you,
where all you need to think about is do I get out of bed today? I found my
space- I started swimming, following the black line up and down the pool. I
was hurting my body so hard my muscles would scream the entire time I would
be thinking and crying. I cried and cried and got angry. Nobody would see me
crying under the water so I was safe, I didn't have to explain why.
What you describe is a cry for help. Get help but find a safe space, develop
support around you. It takes time and many steps forward with many steps
just paddling treading water for a while. Everyone has a reason for being
and being in this N-G is what helped me.
Take care, smell the roses.
Cheers Barb



"Ricki" <rickilc(a)aol.com> wrote in message
news:1138846104.461600.172910(a)z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Hi,
>
> This is my 1st post. I stumbled accross this newsgroup hoping to find
> the answer to this question.
>
> How much Temazepam is required to kill myself?
>
> I am currently on 40mg nightly to help, anti-psychotics, SSRI's and
> Benzo's.
>
> I have about 100+ Temazepam 40mg tablets. Would taking all of them do
> the job?
>
> I always thought suicide was a cry for help but the NHS doesn't hear me
> shouting. I know it will hurt others around me but I figure me living
> is hurting them and I can't bear what I'm going through amymore.
>
> I have had many thoughts about to turn off the lights. Such as hanging
> after taking my meds so I just slip and hang myself when they
> eventually kick in. A high speed car accident into something solid.
> Car fumes. Jumping in front of a train. The tablet option seems to be
> the easiest and pain free way, also people who find me wont get half as
> upset... they would also know why I did it.
>
> By the way, I have taken 40mg and woke up within 2 hours, took another
> 40mg and again woke up and took another 40mg. I slept through the
> night but now I don't want to. I also want to make sure I use enough
> so I'm not left with more damage whilst being alive.
>
> Thanks
>
> Rick
>


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