Scared
in [Panic]
|
From: Mary on 6 Aug 2008 20:27 "highanxiety" <highanxiety2006(a)gmail.com> wrote in message news:2c57c620-28bf-44cc-9bb4-c2511a297e85(a)k30g2000hse.googlegroups.com... > On Aug 6, 12:10 pm, "Mary" <n...(a)invalid.ddd> wrote: > > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > > > > news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > > > > > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > > upsetting. > > > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > > Hi Sally, people here have given you very good advice so I will just add > > that I am glad you are doing better and climbing stairs and even driving :) > > I think its natural for anyone to be upset if they think about what happened > > during and after a serious illness - its just the degree in people which is > > different. I think when under stress you need all your mental and physical > > strength to cope, but when some of the stress comes off like now, there is > > more time to think about what happened. After heart surgery 13 years ago > > now, I didn't think about it much right during or right after, but when I > > got home, it upset me to feel weak and not being able to do things I wanted > > to do. I was frustrated and depressed because I couldn't -(completely > > unrealistic of course but I had no patience with myself), but I didn't think > > that at the time. Gradually my strength returned as yours will. My > > experience and feelings were not all the same as yours, but the principle is > > the same. You've been through a serious illness, but you are doing well in > > your recovery. It won't make things worse by getting sympathy. You probably > > need it and support right now. Things are already getting better for you > > though you may not see it yet. Just my thoughts. > > > > Mary > > > > Mary, > > I know I'm doing pretty good in my recovery. I do get out of breath > climbing the stairs. Driving is no problem. Talking is. My vocal > chords have never worked right since they removed the trach tube. I > can only speak above a whisper. You didn't use your voice when you had the trach in, so it takes time for your voice to get stronger. >That is VERY upsetting to me. I have > trouble over the phone being heard and I can't go through drive > throughs either. I have to see an ENT about this. I am very frustrated > with myself over that. I can imagine it would be very upsetting and also very frustrating not being able to be heard on the phone. I guess you will have to hold off any phone calls till your voice get stronger or get someone else to make your phone calls if need be. As for the drive throughs, maybe yuo can just write them a note :>). We don't have any here except for MacDonalds and places like that. I never use drive throughs. >I have a home health physical therapist who > will come once a week and help me work on endurance and strength. > Thank God for physical therapists, they are so helpful even though > sometimes you want to strangle them LOL. Well, everything helps. >I think sympathy scares me. > The fact that people acknowledge that I've been through a lot just > seems to validate my own feelings that I have. I don't know if I can > really communicate what I mean by that, but that's how it seems. Maybe when people sympathize with you, it reminds you of your experience and makes it too real, as if you were re-living it. Maybe it would help if you look at it as support first and don't dwell on the sympathy part as much. Do whats best for yourself and your recovery Sally. You can only do what you are able to do, so have patience with yourself (people used to tell me that when I was ill). I am not the best patient though.:>) > I do > need support now, and I know where to come and get some. I love this > group. Yes, people here are very supportive. Take it easy. :) Mary -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: Mary on 6 Aug 2008 23:11 "Simon" <SimonFromLondon(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message news:uiik94p8ldbdmgm3fl02re1451okn6qe7o(a)4ax.com... > On Wed, 6 Aug 2008 10:31:56 -0500, "Worn Out Retread" > <newdoverman(a)yahoo.ca> wrote: > > >"highanxiety" <highanxiety2006(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > >news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > >> I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > >> bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > >> > >> My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > >> back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > >> > >> But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > >> start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > >> worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > >> upsetting. > >> > >> I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > >> actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > >> this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > >> > >> I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > >> tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > >> in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > >> of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > >> being completely helpless to do much at all. > >> > >> I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > >> think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > >> friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > >> whole month - I've been through hell guys. > >> > >> Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > >> normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > >> and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > >> too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > >> be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > >> > >> Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > >> had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > >> and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > >> that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > >> into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > >> > >> Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > >> without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > >> > >> Love, > >> > >> Sally > > > >I had this "flash-back" effect for several years after leaving my job > >(forced out on medical grounds). I would wake up in the middle of the night > >in a cold sweat and total panic until I realized that I was no longer in > >that situation. > > > Bloody hell! I have very vivid flash backs of my old job. Some to > do with "clocking in and out". That industrial dispute lasted a > week but it is seared into my memory. The other is a non memory but > my nightmares are when all "my" (all 44 of them) computers all fail. > It never happened but 12 years on I still wake up in a cold sweat > about it. You don't have 44 computers do you? > I was also retired on medical grounds. But you are still young aren't you? Mary -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: Mary on 6 Aug 2008 23:11 "Simon" <SimonFromLondon(a)googlemail.com> wrote in message news:rhik94hmps89msmthu9q3km3a8g79ljs09(a)4ax.com... > On Tue, 5 Aug 2008 17:24:55 -0500, highanxiety > <highanxiety2006(a)gmail.com> wrote: > > >I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > >bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > >My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > >back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > >But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > >start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > >worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > >upsetting. > > > >I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > >actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > >this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > >I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > >tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > >in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > >of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > >being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > >I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > >think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > >friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > >whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > >Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > >normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > >and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > >too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > >be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > >Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > >had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > >and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > >that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > >into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > >Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > >without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > >Love, > > > >Sally > > I don't know what to say. My father pulled out two nasal/gastic > tubes because they were uncomfortable. Some time later he pulled > out a PEG :-( I think he is trying to tell me something. Sadly > something I can do nothing about. My brother fell on back of his head 1.5 years ago and is in a chronic care hospital now. He's in his 60's. He had a brain injury 25 years ago, and when this new head injury happened it made things worse. He can't walk now and is not likely to, and in a wheelchair. He has stomach tube. But it was a trach tube he really disliked. He pulled it out a few times.The doctors put it back in, but the last time, the doctor said to leave it out because it annoyed my brother so much and he thought my brother could breathe ok on his own. My brother was happy to get rid of it. I would hate to have those things. I would not do well at all. Mary -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: Worn Out Retread on 7 Aug 2008 09:29 >> >> I had this "flash-back" effect for several years after leaving my job >> (forced out on medical grounds). I would wake up in the middle of the > night >> in a cold sweat and total panic until I realized that I was no longer in >> that situation. > > That happened to my son in law too, though he was laid off after 20 years > at > the same company. That was 3 years ago. He's in his 40's so had to take a > job that was below his potential because they needed the money. He is > still > at that same job but totally frustrated. Its hard to get jobs here. It > might > be a big city, but that doesn't mean you can get the kind of work you want > or were in before if you got laid off. Even when you are just in your 40's > it gets harder. I feel sorry for him. He was very upset and still is. He > went to a doctor at first but him and my daughter don't go to doctors as > often as they should. This "globalized economy" (corporate screwing of people making a decent salary) sending jobs to lower paying localities, really hurts people like your son-in-law. It can't be anything other than frustrating having clawed one's way "up the ladder" only to be turfed. (if that was the case) In the Niagara area auto workers and steel workers have really been hit hard and it is really difficult to go from a decent wage job to flipping burgers at the local greasy spoon just to survive. It is a physical and mental "body blow." >> This lasted for quite a few years and my doctor was quite a good help >> with >> this. >> >> Good luck. This isn't fun stuff to go through. >> >> In my opinion this is something like PTSD. > > It is something like that, but for me at least, in my own experience, I > found that illness even serious, was not nearly as bad as other > experiences > that happened to me in my life. They can still haunt me 25 years later, > though they are not as strong. Also to consider is peoples' coping > abilities. Mine are good if my emotions are not involved, but once they > get > involved, depending on how I view the situation, I do not cope well about > certain things.We all view things differently. We are all the same, yet so > different. :>) > > Mary I agree with you 100% here. If the emotions are left out it is better (still not easy but better) than when the emotions come into play. When that happens all hell breaks loose. ((((((((((((Mary))))))))))))) -- Ron P If we are what we eat then: I'm fast, cheap and easy and past my best before date -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: Worn Out Retread on 7 Aug 2008 09:32
> Yes, it seems to be a form of PTSD because of the flashbacks. Man I > hate that. I suffer from PTSD anyway, so this is just one more thing > to add to the littany. I hope to God that this doesn't last for years. > I will discuss it with my doctor and my therapist and see if they can > help me get past this. Before this, the only time I've been > hospitalized was to have my kids. I don't like them. I know they are > necessary but I don't like them one bit. > > Love, > > Sally I wish you the best Sally. ((((((((((Sally)))))))))))) -- Ron P If we are what we eat then: I'm fast, cheap and easy and past my best before date -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ========== |