Scared
in [Panic]
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From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 17:14 On Aug 6, 7:45 am, "weeks" <r_we...(a)sbcglobal.net> wrote: > Hi, Sally, > You have been through so much for a long period of time. I'm glad the worst > seems to be behind you. > This is all scary and anxiety producing in the aftermath. Could you be more > afraid of the future at this point? It would only be natural. > We are all so glad to have you back here and posting with us again. I'm > sure you still have a lot of recuperating to do but knowing you are on the > mend is a blessing to me. > ((((((Sally)))))) > smiles, > Elise > > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > > news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > >I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > Love, > > > Sally > Rita, Yes, part of it is fear of the future. Another part is realizing just how fast bad things can happen. The day I got sick, it came on suddenly. All of a sudden I was extremely short of breath and the next thing I knew I was in ICU. I fear it could happen again, or maybe something worse. God I hope not. Maybe more good doctor reports will change my mind about these sort of thoughts. I hope so. I'm glad I'm on the mend too. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 18:00 On Aug 6, 10:55 am, "kilikini" <kiliki...(a)NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote: > highanxiety wrote: > > On Aug 5, 8:02 pm, "kilikini" <kiliki...(a)NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote: > >> highanxiety wrote: > >>> I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought > >>> I'd bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > >>> My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > >>> back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > >>> But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital > >>> and I start to think about what *could* have happened as well as > >>> some of the worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. > >>> It's very upsetting. > > >>> I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > >>> actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder > >>> if this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this > >>> before. > > >>> I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > >>> tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it > >>> back in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my > >>> stomach. Weeks of being unable to talk and having to write notes > >>> and gesture. Just being completely helpless to do much at all. > > >>> I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > >>> think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > >>> friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > >>> whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > >>> Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > >>> normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > >>> and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for > >>> myself too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but > >>> it would be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that > >>> embolism. > > >>> Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > >>> had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on > >>> today and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. > >>> I hope that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new > >>> memory pops into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > >>> Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > >>> without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > >>> Love, > > >>> Sally > > >> In my opinion, it's perfectly justified to feel the way you do, > >> Sally. I question why I've been battling cancer for 2 1/2 years, > >> you know? How did I get so "lucky" to have this thing in me? Why > >> did I have to get fileted? I still have nightmares about the > >> surgeries and the pain. So, if I'm going through that trauma, I > >> don't see why it isn't a typical response. > > >> Ease up on yourself, sweetie. You've been through a lot. > > >> kili > > > Kili, > > > If anyone would know about this kind of problem, it would be you. You > > are right. I guess it's a normal response to trauma and I hope both of > > us can get through it. I'm sorry about the nightmares. I haven't had > > those yet and hope that I don't. My problems happen when I'm awake and > > thinking. Don't you just hate hospitals? I hope I never see the inside > > of another one, I think I've filled my quota, at least for awhile. I'm > > not the only one who's been through a lot. You are an inspiration to > > me and we all hold our breath when you fall silent. I'm glad you're > > back posting with us dear Kili. > > > Love, > > > Sally > > Sally, if I never see the inside of a doctor's office again it wouldn't be > too soon. I dread it when I see a Dr.'s number on my caller I.D. I start > to shake immediately. We'll both get through this and if you ever need to > talk, just jot me an e-mail. > > kili > Yes, your problems are on going and I don't blame you a bit for being scared when the doctors call. Makes me feel selfish for being such a cry baby when my problems are apparently temporary. Still, it's very traumatizing to have serious health problems. ((((((((((Kili)))))))))) life can be so hard sometimes. I got a glimpse of just how hard and I do not know how you do it. I would be such a cry baby if I were you. You feel free to email me if you need or want that. I'm always here for you. I may take you up on your offer to write. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 17:40 On Aug 6, 4:23 pm, "Diana" <diaNOSPAMth...(a)hetnet.nl> wrote: > Dear Sally; > > I take you in my arms and hold you. > > Love Diana > > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> schreef in berichtnews:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > >I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > Love, > > > Sally > (((((((Diana)))))))) Thank you so much. I will hold you in my arms too. We both have been through a lot. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 18:00 On Aug 6, 12:10 pm, "Mary" <n...(a)invalid.ddd> wrote: > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > > news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > Hi Sally, people here have given you very good advice so I will just add > that I am glad you are doing better and climbing stairs and even driving :) > I think its natural for anyone to be upset if they think about what happened > during and after a serious illness - its just the degree in people which is > different. I think when under stress you need all your mental and physical > strength to cope, but when some of the stress comes off like now, there is > more time to think about what happened. After heart surgery 13 years ago > now, I didn't think about it much right during or right after, but when I > got home, it upset me to feel weak and not being able to do things I wanted > to do. I was frustrated and depressed because I couldn't -(completely > unrealistic of course but I had no patience with myself), but I didn't think > that at the time. Gradually my strength returned as yours will. My > experience and feelings were not all the same as yours, but the principle is > the same. You've been through a serious illness, but you are doing well in > your recovery. It won't make things worse by getting sympathy. You probably > need it and support right now. Things are already getting better for you > though you may not see it yet. Just my thoughts. > > Mary > Mary, I know I'm doing pretty good in my recovery. I do get out of breath climbing the stairs. Driving is no problem. Talking is. My vocal chords have never worked right since they removed the trach tube. I can only speak above a whisper. That is VERY upsetting to me. I have trouble over the phone being heard and I can't go through drive throughs either. I have to see an ENT about this. I am very frustrated with myself over that. I have a home health physical therapist who will come once a week and help me work on endurance and strength. Thank God for physical therapists, they are so helpful even though sometimes you want to strangle them LOL. I think sympathy scares me. The fact that people acknowledge that I've been through a lot just seems to validate my own feelings that I have. I don't know if I can really communicate what I mean by that, but that's how it seems. I do need support now, and I know where to come and get some. I love this group. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 18:00
On Aug 6, 11:31 am, "Worn Out Retread" <newdover...(a)yahoo.ca> wrote: > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > > news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > Love, > > > Sally > > I had this "flash-back" effect for several years after leaving my job > (forced out on medical grounds). I would wake up in the middle of the night > in a cold sweat and total panic until I realized that I was no longer in > that situation. > > This lasted for quite a few years and my doctor was quite a good help with > this. > > Good luck. This isn't fun stuff to go through. > > In my opinion this is something like PTSD. > -- > Ron P > > If we are what we eat then: I'm fast, > cheap and easy and past my best before date > Yes, it seems to be a form of PTSD because of the flashbacks. Man I hate that. I suffer from PTSD anyway, so this is just one more thing to add to the littany. I hope to God that this doesn't last for years. I will discuss it with my doctor and my therapist and see if they can help me get past this. Before this, the only time I've been hospitalized was to have my kids. I don't like them. I know they are necessary but I don't like them one bit. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ========== |