Scared
in [Panic]
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From: highanxiety on 5 Aug 2008 23:34 On Aug 5, 7:08 pm, "Chip" <chipmonk__...(a)hotmail.com_NOSPAM> wrote: > "highanxiety" <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote in message > > news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... > > > > >I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > Sally, check out the below description of acute stress disorder: > > http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec07/ch100/ch100h.html > > Treatment > > Many people recover from acute stress disorder once they are removed from > the traumatic situation and given appropriate support in the form of > understanding, empathy for their distress, and an opportunity to describe > what happened and their reaction to it. Some people benefit from describing > their experience several times. > > ----------------------- > > Instead of pushing back the memories, talk about them, either here on asap-m > or with someone in person. Don't take on more memories than you can handle, > or are relatively comfortable with. > > You've been thru alot, and I'm glad you're back here on asapm. > > ((((Sally))))) > > Chip > Thanks so much for posting this Chip. I do believe Acute Stress is what I am dealing with. I've fit the criteria. I will post about what's been bothering me and see if that helps. I have indeed been through a lot and I guess it's irrational to think that I can just go through so much trauma and not have some repercussions from it, especially given the fact that I have anxiety and that just magnifies things. Thanks again my friend. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 5 Aug 2008 23:56 On Aug 5, 8:02 pm, "kilikini" <kiliki...(a)NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote: > highanxiety wrote: > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > > Love, > > > Sally > > In my opinion, it's perfectly justified to feel the way you do, Sally. I > question why I've been battling cancer for 2 1/2 years, you know? How did I > get so "lucky" to have this thing in me? Why did I have to get fileted? I > still have nightmares about the surgeries and the pain. So, if I'm going > through that trauma, I don't see why it isn't a typical response. > > Ease up on yourself, sweetie. You've been through a lot. > > kili > Kili, If anyone would know about this kind of problem, it would be you. You are right. I guess it's a normal response to trauma and I hope both of us can get through it. I'm sorry about the nightmares. I haven't had those yet and hope that I don't. My problems happen when I'm awake and thinking. Don't you just hate hospitals? I hope I never see the inside of another one, I think I've filled my quota, at least for awhile. I'm not the only one who's been through a lot. You are an inspiration to me and we all hold our breath when you fall silent. I'm glad you're back posting with us dear Kili. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 00:00 On Aug 5, 7:25 pm, Philip Peters <phi...(a)p-peters.demon.nl> wrote: > highanxiety schreef: > > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > And that is *great news*! > > > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > I can imagine..... it was a very traumatic experience. > > > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > It is very normal, believe me. It's quite an ordeal you went through, > Sally, not something even normies would manage totally unscathed. > I don't see what's wrong with looking for sympathy and support in a > group that was set up for that. I think it's a *cognitive distortion* to > believe sympathy and support will make you feel worse. There seems to > be an irrational belief behind it, like "I am not worthy of > sympathy (support, friendship, love, you name it)". > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > Sally this is *my worst nightmare*, literally. And you expect yourself > to move on and walk away whistling into the sunset? > > > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > Yes, I realize that and I realzed that when it ws happening, so did all > of us, I guess. > > > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > Indeed. Maybe Young Medicine Master Margrove might turn up and advise > you as to whether it would be a good idea to seek some temporary > professional help for PTSD (if not you might want to email him). In any > case, don't be too hard on yourself. It's *Sally Time*! > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > You're doing so many things already, having the occasional flashback may > be part of recovery, as you say yourselfm, you're *on the mend*! > > > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > The feeling is mutual. It's not because you're such an unpleasant person > that people wish to support you! You;re a wonderful human being and I > for one am happy and proud to call you my friend. > > ((((((Sally)))))) > > Philip > Dear Philip, I guess what I mean by not wanting sympathy is that every time someone expresses to me that I've been through a lot it seems to trigger more memories for me. When I saw my doctor, he hugged me and told me I was a little miracle and he asked me if I had any idea how lucky I was. I am beginning to realize it, I guess but him saying it scared me. The scary part is over but not in my mind. I was unaware of much of what I went through in the beginning. They kept me sedated and so most of the worst part, I had to learn from friends and family. The part about being helpless and tied to machines was bad but mainly due to boredom and having to rely on others for everything. That was difficult. It was a long time before I even realized there was a call button so many times I needed someone and just had to wait. That was pretty horrible. I am feeling better than I did the first few days home. I've been home a week now and am starting to feel like it. At first, it seemed unreal and not my home and I was frightened to be on my own again. My son has been very helpful to me and he's making sure I eat well and he brings me drinks and things if I'm upstairs. I can't climb the stairs and carry things. I have to use a cane and the rail to get up and down the steps. I appreciate the kind words. Before this happened I really didn't know how many people care and it's very comforting to know they do. I value your friendship, and if anything good has come from this ordeal, it's learning that I have many friends who care about me and were pulling for me to get better. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: highanxiety on 6 Aug 2008 00:00 On Aug 5, 7:32 pm, Mare <m...(a)physics.umass.edu> wrote: > On Aug 5, 6:24 pm, highanxiety <highanxiety2...(a)gmail.com> wrote: > > > I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > > upsetting. > > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > Sally, I'm a newbie here, but I can relate in a slightly different > way. Since I've been blessed with pretty good health, my fretting > usually comes about if I start thinking about the cat I had put down. > She had pancreatitis and she was the first critter I ever had to make > the decision about putting down. There are times when I relive what > that poor little thing went through and I make myself sick about it. > That was 8 years ago. Then 3 years ago, my pride & joy (Siamese), > Mookie, went to Rainbow Bridge with the vet's help (he had numerous > tumors in his lungs) and it's like I've never really recovered from > either of their deaths. Kirby was only 5, but I was lucky to have > been owned by Mookie for 16 years. The memories are still fresh, and > I can't seem to get rid of them either. > > I'm hoping that you will be able to put the bad stuff aside and > concentrate on how well you're doing now. I will if you will, okay? > > In the meantime, (((((((Sally))))))) > > Best, > > Mare > Hi Mare, Nice to meet you and I'm late, but welcome to the group. I think it's a common thing to have PTSD over the death of a loved one, including pets. I've lost most of my family and had lots of grief counseling. There is such a thing as being stuck in grief and then it's a good idea to get some counseling for it. It sounds like you may be stuck in it. I have a 14 year old cat and do I ever dread the day I lose her. Animals just don't live long enough. What helped me a lot when I lost my mom was learning to be grateful for the time I did have with her. I don't know how you feel about God, but I came to the realization that the God that took her from me was the same one that gave her to me in the first place. I'm so sorry for your losses. We get so attached to our fuzzy butts. It makes it worse if they suffer. I wish you the best with staying in today. I will also try to do this. It's so hard. With anxiety, seems like I'm either reliving the past or second guessing the future all of the time. It can be done though and I will try to stay in today and hope that you can too. Love, Sally -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========
From: weeks on 6 Aug 2008 07:45
Hi, Sally, You have been through so much for a long period of time. I'm glad the worst seems to be behind you. This is all scary and anxiety producing in the aftermath. Could you be more afraid of the future at this point? It would only be natural. We are all so glad to have you back here and posting with us again. I'm sure you still have a lot of recuperating to do but knowing you are on the mend is a blessing to me. ((((((Sally)))))) smiles, Elise "highanxiety" <highanxiety2006(a)gmail.com> wrote in message news:0769d0b9-c797-48ba-819c-f4546bcac5c4(a)s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com... >I didn't remember this ever being discussed in here, so I thought I'd > bounce it off you all and see what you have to say. > > My health is on the mend. I saw my doctor and all my blood work came > back good and I'm getting stronger. The worst seems to be behind me. > > But I have flashbacks to when I was very ill and in the hospital and I > start to think about what *could* have happened as well as some of the > worst parts when I was sick, and I get very scared. It's very > upsetting. > > I feel like I'm looking for sympathy just posting about it and > actually that might even make it worse if I get that. I just wonder if > this is normal and if anyone else has ever been through this before. > > I had bad times. I got pneumonia and had a hard time with my feeding > tube. It became dislodged and they had to take it out and put it back > in - twice. Which mean a tube shoved down my nose to my stomach. Weeks > of being unable to talk and having to write notes and gesture. Just > being completely helpless to do much at all. > > I have pushed back a lot of those memories but they come back and I > think about them and it was a scary thing. I know my family and > friends were scared too, and just the idea that I was in ICU for a > whole month - I've been through hell guys. > > Has anyone had this after a bad accident or illness and is this a > normal reaction? I suppose it is. I wish I could just brush it aside > and get on with my recovery but I find myself feeling sorry for myself > too much. I may have a tendency to over dramatize things but it would > be hard to OVER dramatize what I've been through with that embolism. > > Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I just wish none of it > had ever happened. I try to be positive and just concentrate on today > and the fact I'm home, I'm climbing stairs, I'm even driving. I hope > that this phase for me doesn't last. I hate it when a new memory pops > into my mind and I have to relive the bad stuff. > > Thanks for listening. You all are the best. I don't know what I'd do > without such supportive wonderful people like you all. > > Love, > > Sally > > -- > ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== > Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com > The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm > ========= This notice is added to each approved article ========== > -- ========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ========== Contact the moderators at: asapm-board(a)stump.algebra.com The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm ========= This notice is added to each approved article ========== |