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From: chickenfishies on 1 Aug 2006 15:10 Hi Everyone, I was Married in Jan and want to move to my husbands hometown where I have a great job offer ($8,000 more a year!), and his family is there (parents-retired and loving grandparents to the child already, sister and nieces), School is more obtainable for me, and I have a daughter from a previous marriage who's Father encourages the move. I am dealing with an ex (never married) who doesn't want me to take our 3 year old out of Missouri. He has one day a week he is supposed to have her (I have daycare records that show he rarely picked her up, or he was very late),IN fact didn't pick her up this last week for his day! And last weekend he was supposed to pick her up Friday.... then Sat at 11... then didn't show until Sat at 12:30! He has picked her up on his weekends consistently (or late), His child support was 2 months late (recorded by the State of MO) then he caught up real fast, Oh and by the way to work with him I let him have her on Mother's day weekend to take her to a wedding provided he have her home by 3pm so we could go to dinner-- he didn't bring her home until 6pm and didn't answer his cell or call and no apology at all! He also did this on New Years, late-no call and no answers. He made a claim a couple of weeks ago that she was sick and I'd better take her to the doctor he said at the time he took her and I better take her (I did, she had very mild allergies) he wouldn't tell me at the time what doctor or the diagnosis. He now claims she had border-line pneumonia (but with-held this info!?). We doubt he even took her to the Doctor and is blowing smoke. He said my Doc is a quack (He is awesome and I got a letter the very next day after he made the claim from the Day Care that said she didn't so much as cough! So now he is trying to say we are neglegent (we aren't!). Each time he gets her he says she is sick... each time I get a note from her licenses daycare that she not. My questions... He says he isn't willing to mediate or work with us in any way. Won't that look bad on him? He says he wants full custody (I actually have sole physical and joint legal) I am a good Mom, can he have it? I know I am a good mom because even my ex-husband who I have my older child with is willing to testify to that fact. We have offered him the same amount of visitation with our 3 year old (and another week to make up for travel time), a reduction in child support to offset the expense of traveling and free reign over the times he sees her (with notice) until she goes to school AND I am willing to do all the traveling with her! What do judges here really look at? Would they separate my kids? Will they even care his child support is always late? Oh, and the clincher- Now my 3 year old tells my husband and myself that we don't love her (we do! very much!) and last weekend when he dropped her off she was programmed to say "I want to go with Dad." I would have fallen for it if she wasn't reaching for me at the time! We have taken her to a child Psychologist who is willing to come to court and testify to the fact that relocation on a 3 year old is not hard on the child IF the child stays with her primary caregivers (me and my hubby), and it WOULD BE detrimental to the child to take her away from us and with her father. Any advice, comment suggestion would be appreciated... sorry such a long post. Thanks for your time and input.
From: t@home on 1 Aug 2006 16:38 I think the last thing you should have done was to re-marry after the last two catastophes. Two kids, two fathers and now a third? Do your kids really need all this drama and chaos in their lives? Maybe it's time to stop doing what you think will make *you* happy and focus on the needs of your children? Your kids will probably pay dearly for your impulsive acts. chickenfishies wrote: > Hi Everyone, > I was Married in Jan and want to move to my husbands hometown where I > have a great job offer ($8,000 more a year!), and his family is there > (parents-retired and loving grandparents to the child already, sister > and nieces), School is more obtainable for me, and I have a daughter > from a previous marriage who's Father encourages the move. > > I am dealing with an ex (never married) who doesn't want me to take our > 3 year old out of Missouri. He has one day a week he is supposed to > have her (I have daycare records that show he rarely picked her up, or > he was very late),IN fact didn't pick her up this last week for his > day! And last weekend he was supposed to pick her up Friday.... then > Sat at 11... then didn't show until Sat at 12:30! He has picked her up > on his weekends consistently (or late), His child support was 2 months > late (recorded by the State of MO) then he caught up real fast, Oh and > by the way to work with him I let him have her on Mother's day weekend > to take her to a wedding provided he have her home by 3pm so we could > go to dinner-- he didn't bring her home until 6pm and didn't answer his > cell or call and no apology at all! He also did this on New Years, > late-no call and no answers. He made a claim a couple of weeks ago that > she was sick and I'd better take her to the doctor he said at the time > he took her and I better take her (I did, she had very mild allergies) > he wouldn't tell me at the time what doctor or the diagnosis. He now > claims she had border-line pneumonia (but with-held this info!?). We > doubt he even took her to the Doctor and is blowing smoke. He said my > Doc is a quack (He is awesome and I got a letter the very next day > after he made the claim from the Day Care that said she didn't so much > as cough! So now he is trying to say we are neglegent (we aren't!). > Each time he gets her he says she is sick... each time I get a note > from her licenses daycare that she not. > > My questions... He says he isn't willing to mediate or work with us in > any way. Won't that look bad on him? He says he wants full custody (I > actually have sole physical and joint legal) I am a good Mom, can he > have it? I know I am a good mom because even my ex-husband who I have > my older child with is willing to testify to that fact. We have offered > him the same amount of visitation with our 3 year old (and another week > to make up for travel time), a reduction in child support to offset the > expense of traveling and free reign over the times he sees her (with > notice) until she goes to school AND I am willing to do all the > traveling with her! What do judges here really look at? Would they > separate my kids? Will they even care his child support is always late? > > > Oh, and the clincher- Now my 3 year old tells my husband and myself > that we don't love her (we do! very much!) and last weekend when he > dropped her off she was programmed to say "I want to go with Dad." I > would have fallen for it if she wasn't reaching for me at the time! We > have taken her to a child Psychologist who is willing to come to court > and testify to the fact that relocation on a 3 year old is not hard on > the child IF the child stays with her primary caregivers (me and my > hubby), and it WOULD BE detrimental to the child to take her away from > us and with her father. > > > Any advice, comment suggestion would be appreciated... sorry such a > long post. > > Thanks for your time and input.
From: Joy on 1 Aug 2006 19:52 "t(a)home" <toni_brightman(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message news:1154464720.535862.234160(a)b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com... >I think the last thing you should have done was to re-marry after the > last two catastophes. Two kids, two fathers and now a third? Do your > kids really need all this drama and chaos in their lives? Maybe it's > time to stop doing what you think will make *you* happy and focus on > the needs of your children? Your kids will probably pay dearly for > your impulsive acts. Chastising somebody for water under the bridge isn't terribly helpful in figuring out where to go next, though. I dont have any special words of wisdom for the OP, having never been in that situation. It might be worth asking in alt.support.step-parents, though. > chickenfishies wrote: >> Hi Everyone, >> I was Married in Jan and want to move to my husbands hometown where I >> have a great job offer ($8,000 more a year!), and his family is there >> (parents-retired and loving grandparents to the child already, sister >> and nieces), School is more obtainable for me, and I have a daughter >> from a previous marriage who's Father encourages the move. >> >> I am dealing with an ex (never married) who doesn't want me to take our >> 3 year old out of Missouri. He has one day a week he is supposed to >> have her (I have daycare records that show he rarely picked her up, or >> he was very late),IN fact didn't pick her up this last week for his >> day! And last weekend he was supposed to pick her up Friday.... then >> Sat at 11... then didn't show until Sat at 12:30! He has picked her up >> on his weekends consistently (or late), His child support was 2 months >> late (recorded by the State of MO) then he caught up real fast, Oh and >> by the way to work with him I let him have her on Mother's day weekend >> to take her to a wedding provided he have her home by 3pm so we could >> go to dinner-- he didn't bring her home until 6pm and didn't answer his >> cell or call and no apology at all! He also did this on New Years, >> late-no call and no answers. He made a claim a couple of weeks ago that >> she was sick and I'd better take her to the doctor he said at the time >> he took her and I better take her (I did, she had very mild allergies) >> he wouldn't tell me at the time what doctor or the diagnosis. He now >> claims she had border-line pneumonia (but with-held this info!?). We >> doubt he even took her to the Doctor and is blowing smoke. He said my >> Doc is a quack (He is awesome and I got a letter the very next day >> after he made the claim from the Day Care that said she didn't so much >> as cough! So now he is trying to say we are neglegent (we aren't!). >> Each time he gets her he says she is sick... each time I get a note >> from her licenses daycare that she not. >> >> My questions... He says he isn't willing to mediate or work with us in >> any way. Won't that look bad on him? He says he wants full custody (I >> actually have sole physical and joint legal) I am a good Mom, can he >> have it? I know I am a good mom because even my ex-husband who I have >> my older child with is willing to testify to that fact. We have offered >> him the same amount of visitation with our 3 year old (and another week >> to make up for travel time), a reduction in child support to offset the >> expense of traveling and free reign over the times he sees her (with >> notice) until she goes to school AND I am willing to do all the >> traveling with her! What do judges here really look at? Would they >> separate my kids? Will they even care his child support is always late? >> >> >> Oh, and the clincher- Now my 3 year old tells my husband and myself >> that we don't love her (we do! very much!) and last weekend when he >> dropped her off she was programmed to say "I want to go with Dad." I >> would have fallen for it if she wasn't reaching for me at the time! We >> have taken her to a child Psychologist who is willing to come to court >> and testify to the fact that relocation on a 3 year old is not hard on >> the child IF the child stays with her primary caregivers (me and my >> hubby), and it WOULD BE detrimental to the child to take her away from >> us and with her father. >> >> >> Any advice, comment suggestion would be appreciated... sorry such a >> long post. >> >> Thanks for your time and input. >
From: chickenfishies on 1 Aug 2006 21:09 Soooo..... I am being scolded? My oldest is 9.... I was in college, he dad was in college and we got married THEN pregnant just FYI.... my next is 3 Just turned three... so let me see it was 6 years later and I got pregnant and lived up to my duties.... and THREE?!? Where the heck are you getting that? I never said anything about a thrid. So if waiting 6 years and finding another relationship that turned bad makes me impulsive then so be it... and oh by the way.... people with glasshouses shouldn't throw any stones. Joy wrote: > "t(a)home" <toni_brightman(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:1154464720.535862.234160(a)b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com... > >I think the last thing you should have done was to re-marry after the > > last two catastophes. Two kids, two fathers and now a third? Do your > > kids really need all this drama and chaos in their lives? Maybe it's > > time to stop doing what you think will make *you* happy and focus on > > the needs of your children? Your kids will probably pay dearly for > > your impulsive acts. > > Chastising somebody for water under the bridge isn't terribly helpful in > figuring out where to go next, though. > > I dont have any special words of wisdom for the OP, having never been in > that situation. It might be worth asking in alt.support.step-parents, > though. > > > chickenfishies wrote: > >> Hi Everyone, > >> I was Married in Jan and want to move to my husbands hometown where I > >> have a great job offer ($8,000 more a year!), and his family is there > >> (parents-retired and loving grandparents to the child already, sister > >> and nieces), School is more obtainable for me, and I have a daughter > >> from a previous marriage who's Father encourages the move. > >> > >> I am dealing with an ex (never married) who doesn't want me to take our > >> 3 year old out of Missouri. He has one day a week he is supposed to > >> have her (I have daycare records that show he rarely picked her up, or > >> he was very late),IN fact didn't pick her up this last week for his > >> day! And last weekend he was supposed to pick her up Friday.... then > >> Sat at 11... then didn't show until Sat at 12:30! He has picked her up > >> on his weekends consistently (or late), His child support was 2 months > >> late (recorded by the State of MO) then he caught up real fast, Oh and > >> by the way to work with him I let him have her on Mother's day weekend > >> to take her to a wedding provided he have her home by 3pm so we could > >> go to dinner-- he didn't bring her home until 6pm and didn't answer his > >> cell or call and no apology at all! He also did this on New Years, > >> late-no call and no answers. He made a claim a couple of weeks ago that > >> she was sick and I'd better take her to the doctor he said at the time > >> he took her and I better take her (I did, she had very mild allergies) > >> he wouldn't tell me at the time what doctor or the diagnosis. He now > >> claims she had border-line pneumonia (but with-held this info!?). We > >> doubt he even took her to the Doctor and is blowing smoke. He said my > >> Doc is a quack (He is awesome and I got a letter the very next day > >> after he made the claim from the Day Care that said she didn't so much > >> as cough! So now he is trying to say we are neglegent (we aren't!). > >> Each time he gets her he says she is sick... each time I get a note > >> from her licenses daycare that she not. > >> > >> My questions... He says he isn't willing to mediate or work with us in > >> any way. Won't that look bad on him? He says he wants full custody (I > >> actually have sole physical and joint legal) I am a good Mom, can he > >> have it? I know I am a good mom because even my ex-husband who I have > >> my older child with is willing to testify to that fact. We have offered > >> him the same amount of visitation with our 3 year old (and another week > >> to make up for travel time), a reduction in child support to offset the > >> expense of traveling and free reign over the times he sees her (with > >> notice) until she goes to school AND I am willing to do all the > >> traveling with her! What do judges here really look at? Would they > >> separate my kids? Will they even care his child support is always late? > >> > >> > >> Oh, and the clincher- Now my 3 year old tells my husband and myself > >> that we don't love her (we do! very much!) and last weekend when he > >> dropped her off she was programmed to say "I want to go with Dad." I > >> would have fallen for it if she wasn't reaching for me at the time! We > >> have taken her to a child Psychologist who is willing to come to court > >> and testify to the fact that relocation on a 3 year old is not hard on > >> the child IF the child stays with her primary caregivers (me and my > >> hubby), and it WOULD BE detrimental to the child to take her away from > >> us and with her father. > >> > >> > >> Any advice, comment suggestion would be appreciated... sorry such a > >> long post. > >> > >> Thanks for your time and input. > >
From: Joy on 1 Aug 2006 21:22
"chickenfishies" <dtm608(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message news:1154480998.969166.34180(a)i3g2000cwc.googlegroups.com... > Soooo..... I am being scolded? My oldest is 9.... I was in college, he > dad was in college and we got married THEN pregnant just FYI.... my > next is 3 Just turned three... so let me see it was 6 years later and I > got pregnant and lived up to my duties.... and THREE?!? Where the heck > are you getting that? I never said anything about a thrid. So if > waiting 6 years and finding another relationship that turned bad makes > me impulsive then so be it... and oh by the way.... people with > glasshouses shouldn't throw any stones. Hope you didn't think I was throwing stones, since I certainly wasn't. The key for you is figuring out what to do next, anyway... > > Joy wrote: >> "t(a)home" <toni_brightman(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message >> news:1154464720.535862.234160(a)b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com... >> >I think the last thing you should have done was to re-marry after the >> > last two catastophes. Two kids, two fathers and now a third? Do your >> > kids really need all this drama and chaos in their lives? Maybe it's >> > time to stop doing what you think will make *you* happy and focus on >> > the needs of your children? Your kids will probably pay dearly for >> > your impulsive acts. >> >> Chastising somebody for water under the bridge isn't terribly helpful in >> figuring out where to go next, though. >> >> I dont have any special words of wisdom for the OP, having never been in >> that situation. It might be worth asking in alt.support.step-parents, >> though. >> >> > chickenfishies wrote: >> >> Hi Everyone, >> >> I was Married in Jan and want to move to my husbands hometown where I >> >> have a great job offer ($8,000 more a year!), and his family is there >> >> (parents-retired and loving grandparents to the child already, sister >> >> and nieces), School is more obtainable for me, and I have a daughter >> >> from a previous marriage who's Father encourages the move. >> >> >> >> I am dealing with an ex (never married) who doesn't want me to take >> >> our >> >> 3 year old out of Missouri. He has one day a week he is supposed to >> >> have her (I have daycare records that show he rarely picked her up, or >> >> he was very late),IN fact didn't pick her up this last week for his >> >> day! And last weekend he was supposed to pick her up Friday.... then >> >> Sat at 11... then didn't show until Sat at 12:30! He has picked her >> >> up >> >> on his weekends consistently (or late), His child support was 2 months >> >> late (recorded by the State of MO) then he caught up real fast, Oh and >> >> by the way to work with him I let him have her on Mother's day weekend >> >> to take her to a wedding provided he have her home by 3pm so we could >> >> go to dinner-- he didn't bring her home until 6pm and didn't answer >> >> his >> >> cell or call and no apology at all! He also did this on New Years, >> >> late-no call and no answers. He made a claim a couple of weeks ago >> >> that >> >> she was sick and I'd better take her to the doctor he said at the time >> >> he took her and I better take her (I did, she had very mild allergies) >> >> he wouldn't tell me at the time what doctor or the diagnosis. He now >> >> claims she had border-line pneumonia (but with-held this info!?). We >> >> doubt he even took her to the Doctor and is blowing smoke. He said my >> >> Doc is a quack (He is awesome and I got a letter the very next day >> >> after he made the claim from the Day Care that said she didn't so much >> >> as cough! So now he is trying to say we are neglegent (we aren't!). >> >> Each time he gets her he says she is sick... each time I get a note >> >> from her licenses daycare that she not. >> >> >> >> My questions... He says he isn't willing to mediate or work with us in >> >> any way. Won't that look bad on him? He says he wants full custody (I >> >> actually have sole physical and joint legal) I am a good Mom, can he >> >> have it? I know I am a good mom because even my ex-husband who I have >> >> my older child with is willing to testify to that fact. We have >> >> offered >> >> him the same amount of visitation with our 3 year old (and another >> >> week >> >> to make up for travel time), a reduction in child support to offset >> >> the >> >> expense of traveling and free reign over the times he sees her (with >> >> notice) until she goes to school AND I am willing to do all the >> >> traveling with her! What do judges here really look at? Would they >> >> separate my kids? Will they even care his child support is always >> >> late? >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, and the clincher- Now my 3 year old tells my husband and myself >> >> that we don't love her (we do! very much!) and last weekend when he >> >> dropped her off she was programmed to say "I want to go with Dad." I >> >> would have fallen for it if she wasn't reaching for me at the time! We >> >> have taken her to a child Psychologist who is willing to come to court >> >> and testify to the fact that relocation on a 3 year old is not hard on >> >> the child IF the child stays with her primary caregivers (me and my >> >> hubby), and it WOULD BE detrimental to the child to take her away from >> >> us and with her father. >> >> >> >> >> >> Any advice, comment suggestion would be appreciated... sorry such a >> >> long post. >> >> >> >> Thanks for your time and input. >> > > |