Relationships after surgery
in [Ostomy]
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From: Melissa J on 19 Oct 2007 08:18 Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful relationships with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people here who were already married before surgery and some met people after surgery. I have not had a serious relationship since my surgery. I guess I keep running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that having an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering.
From: lenehant on 19 Oct 2007 15:58 On Oct 19, 8:18 am, "Melissa J" <mjames1...(a)bellsouth.net> wrote: > Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful relationships > with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people here > who were already married before surgery and some met people after surgery. > I have not had a serious relationship since my surgery. I guess I keep > running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that having > an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering. I am lucky enough to celebrate 25 years of marriage, with the last 10 coming after my colostomy. Don't get discouraged, Melissaj.
From: TonyH on 20 Oct 2007 03:34 On Oct 20, 1:18 am, "Melissa J" <mjames1...(a)bellsouth.net> wrote: > Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful relationships > with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people here > who were already married before surgery and some met people after surgery. > I have not had a serious relationship since my surgery. I guess I keep > running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that having > an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering. Hi Melissa I had my surgery about 14 years ago . My first relationship after my ileostomy was with a nurse I met while in hospital ... I guess she knew what to expect . But since then I have had physical relationships with four other women (, with no problems in their acceptance of the " bag " The last one we have been together for 10 years so I guess that is meaningful . I am not sure however that men might be so accepting as women . I am sure that if they are too afraid to stick around then they would not be worth having a relationship if you were not an ostomate Tony
From: shaz032 on 20 Oct 2007 07:27 On Oct 19, 8:18 pm, "Melissa J" <mjames1...(a)bellsouth.net> wrote: > Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful relationships > with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people here > who were already married before surgery and some met people after surgery. > I have not had a serious relationship since my surgery. I guess I keep > running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that having > an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering. I've had my ileostomy for 31 years since I was 10 years old. That means I've had it for all of my dating life and to be honest, I've never really met anyone who has re-acted negatively because of it. I did have one guy run and hide when I told him about it, but that was his loss! Most guys are just glad I'm alive and well and able to be with them. Nowhere in personal ads have I ever seen 'must be tidy, friendly and poop via your rectum and anus'. How you poop is simply not a criteria most people base a relationship on - and if they do, then I'm betting you don't want someone that shallow anyway. As long as you present it all in a positive light and stress to them it doesn't worry you, then it (hopefully) shouldn't worry them either. Does it hurt when they reject you cos of your ostomy? Yes, I'm betting it does. But then it hurts when they reject you cos you're overweight... or wear glasses... or have a mole on your nose... or.... Look at it this way. At least you found out quickly the sort of person they really are. What would you do if the situation were reversed? What if you'd never heard of an ostomy but the guy/girl you really liked told you they had one? Would that turn you off? I think that if you really liked them it wouldn't. Yes, it would be new to you and you'd probably ask questions about it, but it probably wouldn't stop you from wanting to be with them. Therefore, why should it put off any potential partners that are genuinely interested in you? Good luck. Shaz http://www.ostomates.org
From: Rex J Atkins AMIBE on 21 Oct 2007 02:32
In article <fg1Si.647$N7.84(a)bignews7.bellsouth.net>, Melissa J <mjames15ga(a)bellsouth.net> writes >Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful relationships >with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people here >who were already married before surgery and some met people after surgery. >I have not had a serious relationship since my surgery. I guess I keep >running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that having >an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering. > > Hi Melissa Got my bag in 1982 No relationships after...... Hope you have a better outcome Rex in Norwich -- Rex J Atkins, AMIBE E-Mail ra1702.20736ar(a)tiscali.co.uk |