Reconciliation
in [Marriage]
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From: Bill in Co on 8 Aug 2008 13:54 EB wrote: >>> EB >> >> Because it's not that bad, and he loves me and there is hope >> for improvement, as well as promises on his part. I have seen >> situations much worse. As I said, the future will reveal many things. >> >> Erin > > I seen situation much worse too. I've seen crack whores living next > door screeming at their kids. > I've seen child abuse and wino's smacking their wives around in the > open street. > I seen a woman pull a .22 out and shoot her husband because he was > suppose to have been out all night with another woman. > Just because there are degrees of "worse situations" doesn't mean you > should tolerate "lesser" degrees of bad behavior. > Hope for improvement? I hope so, because I don't think it can get any > worse for you. You can only up. > > EB Erin doesn't want to be alone. So she hangs on to what she has. That's the bottom line.
From: AllYou! on 8 Aug 2008 13:54 the idiot, bill, continues his lunacy -- NOTICE: I treat everything which anyone posts in Usenet as nothing more than a work of fiction with no basis in fact or reality whatsoever. Every comment in every one of my posts is nothing more than a useless opinion or a wild speculation, and must never be taken seriously or as having any positive value to anyone for any reasons. I never assume that there�s any more to a story than what I have read, no matter what else the author or anyone else may have posted anywhere. Be advised that my remarks are that of an ignorant layperson, and no one should ever base their decisions upon them under any circumstances.
From: Bill in Co on 8 Aug 2008 14:04 EB wrote: > On Aug 8, 2:40 am, "Vickie" <vkraj...(a)yahoo.com> wrote: >> "Bill in Co" <surly_curmudg...(a)earthlink.net> wrote in >> messagenews:UbednYFmtd92PwbVnZ2dnUVZ_qfinZ2d(a)earthlink.com... >> >> >> >> >> >>> Vickie wrote: >>>> "Erin" <squig...(a)sympatico.ca> wrote in message >>>> news:5783c395-ed6f-4c70-9109-42a366d9b4d8(a)m73g2000hsh.googlegroups.com... >> >>>>>> I wanna hear the Sirens. Just tie me to the mast. >> >>>>> Well you better hurry with the Swan song because >>>>> neither the Wife nor the Dog may be there waiting >>>>> for you on your return. >> >>>> I didn't think there was a return from the Sirens. >>>> Rock-a-bye-baby......your dead. >>>> Did I get it wrong? >> >>> We're clearly not on the same page here. :-) >>> My Sirens predate yours, by about 2000 years. Check out the Greeks, and >>> get back to me. I'll leave the light on for ya. :-) >> >> Nah, dont want to check it out. >> I thought they were 3 bird/women who lured sailors in, lulled them to >> sleep >> with body and song, and then, Kablooey!, killed 'em. >> >> What is your version? >> >> wheeeww. <I blew the candle out> >> >> Vickie- Hide quoted text - >> >> - Show quoted text - > > Vickie, > > I think you are thinking about the Harpies that plauged King Phineas. > > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harpies > > EB (Greek Mythology major) I believe the sirens were heard by the sailors on ships passing through certain straights, and Odysseus(?) requested to be tied to the post to be able to listen to them (everyone else on the ship had ear plugs). Not to be confused with the harpies, on land (as I recall). If you're a Greek Mythology major, you may remember better, however.
From: Erin on 8 Aug 2008 15:10 AllYou! wrote: > In > news:df139c3b-65cd-4265-a1a1-1a636f04205f(a)j22g2000hsf.googlegroups.com, > Erin <squiggle(a)sympatico.ca> mused: > > AllYou! wrote: > >> In > >> news:169343c8-cb71-4fbd-b24c-c08a9e098ba8(a)y21g2000hsf.googlegroups.com, > >> Erin <squiggle(a)sympatico.ca> mused: > >>> EB wrote: > >>>>>> EB > >>>>> > >>>>> Because it's not that bad, and he loves me and there is hope > >>>>> for improvement, as well as promises on his part. ?I have > >>>>> seen situations much worse. ?As I said, the future will > >>>>> reveal many things. > >>>>> > >>>>> Erin > >>>> > >>>> I seen situation much worse too. I've seen crack whores living > >>>> next door screeming at their kids. > >>>> I've seen child abuse and wino's smacking their wives around > >>>> in the open street. > >>>> I seen a woman pull a .22 out and shoot her husband because he > >>>> was suppose to have been out all night with another woman. > >>>> Just because there are degrees of "worse situations" doesn't > >>>> mean you should tolerate "lesser" degrees of bad behavior. > >>>> Hope for improvement? I hope so, because I don't think it can > >>>> get any worse for you. You can only up. > >>>> > >>>> EB > >>> > >>> > >>> I don't think our situation is comparable to the above > >>> examples, though > >>> i get your point. Consider that he has not slept with anyone, > >>> and he has > >>> always been there to help me if i need help. It is also quite > >>> possible that > >>> the OW is not a romantic involvement but a career dependence-- > >>> and when she comes to stay at his apt., comes with her husband. > >>> To be totally fair, i have to be objective, which is difficult > >>> because i know that there > >>> has been a personal break, but don't really know what the cause > >>> or causes > >>> were. > >>> > >>> Boy, this is approaching a book status in length, lol. > >> > >> If he's lied in counseling, then he may very well have lied to > >> you about having slept with her. That's one of the factors > >> that you've got to take into consideration as you make your > >> decision. Not that he has lied, but that he very well might've > >> lied. > > > > No it isn't. What difference would it make? > > The fact that he's untrustworth should be a very significant factor, > IMHO, because you should not therefore be disappointed, and then > unhappy, if you find out that he's lied It is. As you said in a previous post, I am going into this with eyes wide open; well maybe with a few blinkers. It is stressful to lose trust. Trust made life easy and carefree; problems could be handled with confidence. There is no doubt, that a loss of trust changes the scenery and increases vigilance. But liberation can only come in two possible ways now: experience will hopefully show that suspicion was unfounded (as the counsellor believes), or it was. IMHO, the real problem is how to reverse things emotionally. I don't think cognitive therapy works on that. I don't think any psychiatrist knows how to work on that. I wonder how they handle soldiers coming back from the war who have killed people under orders and not from their own will. I think experiences like that are very personal. Erin
From: Bill in Co on 8 Aug 2008 15:50
Erin wrote: > AllYou! wrote: >> In >> news:df139c3b-65cd-4265-a1a1-1a636f04205f(a)j22g2000hsf.googlegroups.com, >> Erin <squiggle(a)sympatico.ca> mused: >>> AllYou! wrote: >>>> In >>>> news:169343c8-cb71-4fbd-b24c-c08a9e098ba8(a)y21g2000hsf.googlegroups.com, >>>> Erin <squiggle(a)sympatico.ca> mused: >>>>> EB wrote: >>>>>>>> EB >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Because it's not that bad, and he loves me and there is hope >>>>>>> for improvement, as well as promises on his part. ?I have >>>>>>> seen situations much worse. ?As I said, the future will >>>>>>> reveal many things. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Erin >>>>>> >>>>>> I seen situation much worse too. I've seen crack whores living >>>>>> next door screeming at their kids. >>>>>> I've seen child abuse and wino's smacking their wives around >>>>>> in the open street. >>>>>> I seen a woman pull a .22 out and shoot her husband because he >>>>>> was suppose to have been out all night with another woman. >>>>>> Just because there are degrees of "worse situations" doesn't >>>>>> mean you should tolerate "lesser" degrees of bad behavior. >>>>>> Hope for improvement? I hope so, because I don't think it can >>>>>> get any worse for you. You can only up. >>>>>> >>>>>> EB >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I don't think our situation is comparable to the above >>>>> examples, though >>>>> i get your point. Consider that he has not slept with anyone, >>>>> and he has >>>>> always been there to help me if i need help. It is also quite >>>>> possible that >>>>> the OW is not a romantic involvement but a career dependence-- >>>>> and when she comes to stay at his apt., comes with her husband. >>>>> To be totally fair, i have to be objective, which is difficult >>>>> because i know that there >>>>> has been a personal break, but don't really know what the cause >>>>> or causes were. >>>>> >>>>> Boy, this is approaching a book status in length, lol. >>>> >>>> If he's lied in counseling, then he may very well have lied to >>>> you about having slept with her. That's one of the factors >>>> that you've got to take into consideration as you make your >>>> decision. Not that he has lied, but that he very well might've >>>> lied. >>> >>> No it isn't. What difference would it make? >> >> The fact that he's untrustworth should be a very significant factor, >> IMHO, because you should not therefore be disappointed, and then >> unhappy, if you find out that he's lied > > It is. As you said in a previous post, I am going into this > with eyes wide open; well maybe with a few blinkers. > It is stressful to lose trust. Trust made life easy and > carefree; problems could be handled with confidence. > There is no doubt, that a loss of trust changes the > scenery and increases vigilance. But liberation can > only come in two possible ways now: experience will > hopefully show that suspicion was unfounded (as the > counsellor believes), or it was. IMHO, the real problem > is how to reverse things emotionally. You can't, unless he is willing. But the only true question is, how are YOU going to live with it, as it is. > I don't think cognitive therapy works on that. I don't think any > psychiatrist knows how to work on that. I wonder how > they handle soldiers coming back from the war who > have killed people under orders and not from their own will. With some medication and a lot of therapy. And a LOT of time. And some never really recover. I'm thinking of some who went to Vietnam, and were out on the front lines, and never really recovered. |