From: paula belushi on

One peculiar feature of a stepfamily is that they are built on a
negative foundation. A stepfamily couple comes to their new home with
a full set of baggage, containing memories, wounds, and habits.
Probably the biggest piece of baggage that sits in the way of your
developing a new life is your connection to your ex-spouse.
And, while some ex-es go away physically, many more haunt your life as
well as your memories. One of the great mysteries of divorce and
remarriage is why many ex-spouses just refuse to turn loose.
It has been said that divorce is the single cruelest thing one person
can do to another person. The one soul you trusted more than any other
with your secrets, your hopes, and your weaknesses turns from their
vows and wrenches themselves from your living heart. The phenomenon of
the spiteful, vengeful ex-spouse is such a problem that the majority
of emails we receive are on that subject.
However, in working with thousands of stepfamilies around the world,
we've found two facts to be true about dealing with these vindictive
ex-es (and they're nearly always ex-wives!):...

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