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From: zedheadchick on 23 May 2007 02:35
Im so confused an lost right now i thought this might be the best
place to get some help/advice/support.

Today i was diagnoised with Genital Herpes. I am disgusted with myself
as to how i could be so careless, an filled with rage at the person
who has infected me. I dont know how i deal with this. I find it hard
enough to meet decent men as it is, Now i feel like i have to walked
around with a sign hanging around my neck saying hi my name is..an i
have genital herpes. How do i broach this subject with future parters,
How do i make sure future partners are 100% protected. Can i ever have
sex without a condom again. Im so confused an hurt an i feel so
violated, because this person played me for a silly fool. Im so scared
that im about to face a life time for humilation an rejection because
of the stigma attached to herpes. I made one little mistake an its
going to affect me for the rest of my life. How have others coped with
having normal relationships? how often do others get breakouts? do
people really judge you?

Please give me some advice cause im feeling so alone.

From: zedheadchick on 23 May 2007 02:40
On May 23, 6:35 pm, zedheadch...(a)hotmail.com wrote:
> Im so confused an lost right now i thought this might be the best
> place to get some help/advice/support.
>
> Today i was diagnoised with Genital Herpes. I am disgusted with myself
> as to how i could be so careless, an filled with rage at the person
> who has infected me. I dont know how i deal with this. I find it hard
> enough to meet decent men as it is, Now i feel like i have to walked
> around with a sign hanging around my neck saying hi my name is..an i
> have genital herpes. How do i broach this subject with future parters,
> How do i make sure future partners are 100% protected. Can i ever have
> sex without a condom again. Im so confused an hurt an i feel so
> violated, because this person played me for a silly fool. Im so scared
> that im about to face a life time for humilation an rejection because
> of the stigma attached to herpes. I made one little mistake an its
> going to affect me for the rest of my life. How have others coped with
> having normal relationships? how often do others get breakouts? do
> people really judge you?
>
> Please give me some advice cause im feeling so alone.

Also - my breakout has been incredibly painful, any advice on how to
ease this?

From: Grant on 23 May 2007 06:25
Hi there zedheadchick,

Sorry for your diagnosis...but geez, I think you're me 21 years ago.

All the emotions you are feeling right now are normal. So, understand that
adjusting and getting used to it are normal, too.

First, things first, you need to find out from your doctor if you have type
2 or type 1. Many doctors assume that if it is genital, then it is type 2,
but that's wrong. So, call your doc today and get the right information.
Type 1 and 2 ARE different as far as frequency and duration of outbreaks and
transference methods.

Time will help you to deal with this. So, forget about boyfriends right
now. It will be very difficult for you to tell a man you have herpes and
have him accept you until you have learned to accept yourself.

So, focus on yourself. You said your outbreak was very painful. Take
ibuprofin (Advil), it will do wonders for you. Also, ask your doctor about
Valtrex. It's an antiviral you can take either when you first notice signs
of an outbreak, or take it every day to help defend yourself against
outbreaks. You'll still get them, but they may be less intense and won't
last as long.

There are herpes dating sites online so you can get used to meeting people
who already have herpes. But, you'll be surprised to find out how many
people already have it out there in the real world.

The longer you have herpes, the "safer" you become. The first year or so
can be tricky because your body is still building up the antibodies used to
keep future outbreaks from happening. You need to be aware of asymptomatic
shedding. The first year or two, you will asymptomatically shed the virus
more than later on. During these first few years, you're going to want to
use condoms and be extra cautious. However, in future years, you will find
that you can have sex without a condom. But your partner will need to make
that decision.

I don't believe people will judge you nearly as much as you will judge
yourself. Having herpes did not keep me from a 17 year marriage with a man
who doesn't have herpes--and never got them from me--but, I have type 1.
And since being divorced, I've dated three men and all of them already had
herpes (type 1 or 2) and I didn't meet any of them on a herpes dating site.

However, it takes time to come to grips with what you've got. Don't let it
beat you. You are still you.

Please post any questions you might have and we'll do our best to answer
them.

ar

<zedheadchick(a)hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1179902153.330522.244170(a)w5g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> Im so confused an lost right now i thought this might be the best
> place to get some help/advice/support.
>
> Today i was diagnoised with Genital Herpes. I am disgusted with myself
> as to how i could be so careless, an filled with rage at the person
> who has infected me. I dont know how i deal with this. I find it hard
> enough to meet decent men as it is, Now i feel like i have to walked
> around with a sign hanging around my neck saying hi my name is..an i
> have genital herpes. How do i broach this subject with future parters,
> How do i make sure future partners are 100% protected. Can i ever have
> sex without a condom again. Im so confused an hurt an i feel so
> violated, because this person played me for a silly fool. Im so scared
> that im about to face a life time for humilation an rejection because
> of the stigma attached to herpes. I made one little mistake an its
> going to affect me for the rest of my life. How have others coped with
> having normal relationships? how often do others get breakouts? do
> people really judge you?
>
> Please give me some advice cause im feeling so alone.
>


From: Joe on 23 May 2007 06:52
I'm sorry to hear that for you too. I've had it now for about 4 years. I
kind of brush it off a bit in a denial kind of way but I do know the
reality. We all suffer it, those who have it but once you accept it things
will be easier. I'm married so don't have to face telling potential partners
but the longer time goes on, the more I think I would consider meeting
people through a herpes dating site. There will be people on there who are
just like us and who understand; good looking, average, fat, thin and
mental, all will be there so after a while why not try it ?
There are worse things too, don't forget. This is something we can live with
and it's not the end.
You'll be fine
Joe


From: Joe on 23 May 2007 07:55
Can I just add that 'If I split from my wife' I would consider the dating
site ! Sorry, forgot to put that in LOL.

"Joe" <Joe(a)mail.joe> wrote in message
news:N1V4i.319$J15.85(a)newsfe3-gui.ntli.net...
> I'm sorry to hear that for you too. I've had it now for about 4 years. I
> kind of brush it off a bit in a denial kind of way but I do know the
> reality. We all suffer it, those who have it but once you accept it things
> will be easier. I'm married so don't have to face telling potential
> partners but the longer time goes on, the more I think I would consider
> meeting people through a herpes dating site. There will be people on there
> who are just like us and who understand; good looking, average, fat, thin
> and mental, all will be there so after a while why not try it ?
> There are worse things too, don't forget. This is something we can live
> with and it's not the end.
> You'll be fine
> Joe
>


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