Partner Won't Leave House. Help!
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From: dziak on 5 Nov 2005 22:55 Hello, I have a very unfortunate and odd situation on my hands and wondered if someone could shed light on this. I have been in a relationship for 5 years, the bulk of that time myself and my partner have lived together in a home I purchased before we met. The house and all utilities are in my name. Since I am, by far, the higher wage earner in the house it was our verbal agreement that I paid the monthly housing expenses (mortgage, utilities, etc.) and my partner would clean and upkeep the house. Being handy, he also did a lot of work on the house and grounds. That was his contribution to the household instead of cash. Sadly, things have gone poorly this year between us (I discovered he was unfaithful) and while we have tired to work out our problems, it appears our relationship is drawing to a close. While we have had good and bad patches during recent months, I have decided it's best we part company. Lord knows I tried everything to avoid this. In any event, my partner does not have many friends or family in the area. I have told him in recent weeks that if things don't get better soon, he will need to move out so we can both carry on with our lives. WELL, I told him this week that I feel it's best that he make plans to move and he has informed (in a friendly way, if you can picture it) that as a "tenant/resident" of this house for so long I can NOT make him leave the house. His driver's license and mail proves this is his home address and has been for several years and if I want him to leave, I will have to hire a lawyer and do eviction proceedings to get him to leave. I assume this is his attempt to keep us under one roof in hopes of reconciliation. I was stunned. He works in the rental property business and I know from past stories he has shared that his company has had residents of apartments and even hotel room guests stop paying their rent or room fees and if the situation has lapsed past 30 days they can not force the "resident" to leave, they must spend months and thousands of dollars on evications. I have seen him go through this before at work, so I take it that is the basis of what he is saying to me. Is this true? He has so many belongings it would be impossible for me to pack his things, place them outside and change the locks. I also do not want to involve the police and truly can't afford a lawyer. What does one do when they own a home they have shared with someone else for quite a while, ask the other party to leave and the other party refuses to go? If he correct I must "evict" him legally?
From: Tracey on 5 Nov 2005 23:35 dziak(a)snet.net wrote: > What does one do when they own a home they have shared with someone > else for quite a while, ask the other party to leave and the other > party refuses to go? If he correct I must "evict" him legally? You would have to check and make sure of your state laws, but, yes, I have heard of this. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, it sounds like he knows the laws of your state and you most likely *will* have to go through the courts to evict him. Tracey
From: Bogart on 6 Nov 2005 07:41 Tracey wrote: > > > dziak(a)snet.net wrote: > >> What does one do when they own a home they have shared with someone >> else for quite a while, ask the other party to leave and the other >> party refuses to go? If he correct I must "evict" him legally? > > > You would have to check and make sure of your state laws, but, yes, > I have heard of this. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, > it sounds like he knows the laws of your state and you most likely > *will* have to go through the courts to evict him. > > Tracey > > I presume he doesn't have a job. Also, since he has lived there with you for a few years and contributed to the household (even if that's with housework not money) then in the UK I think the law would take the view that he owns a share of your joint assets including the house. I think you need to work out a settlement that allows him to move out. Maybe he doesn't get half because you owned it first but he is at least morally due a share. If I were in his shoes I wouldn't leave without my share of the assets either because if I did it would make it less likely that I would receive my share. Being married or co-habiting is not the same as renting to someone because the expectation of the lessee (partner) is different. This is not legal advice (I'm not a lawyer), just my views as a person. bogey
From: rj on 6 Nov 2005 08:50 On Sun, 06 Nov 2005 04:35:43 GMT, Tracey <rbrancher2(a)aol.com> wrote: > > >dziak(a)snet.net wrote: > >> What does one do when they own a home they have shared with someone >> else for quite a while, ask the other party to leave and the other >> party refuses to go? If he correct I must "evict" him legally? > >You would have to check and make sure of your state laws, but, yes, >I have heard of this. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, >it sounds like he knows the laws of your state and you most likely >*will* have to go through the courts to evict him. > >Tracey > It might get even worse than Tracey indicates. If you happen to live in the US and live in a "common law" state, it might be that in order to end the relationship, you would actually need a formal divorce. You probably need to check with a lawyer. And as food for thought, I've pasted some stuff about common law marriage below. rj STATES THAT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE: Only a few states recognize common law marriages: Alabama Colorado Georgia (if created before 1/1/97) Idaho (if created before 1/1/96) Iowa Kansas Montana New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only) Ohio (if created before 10/10/91) Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.) Pennsylvania (if created before 9/03) Rhode Island South Carolina Texas Utah Washington, D.C. IF YOU LIVE IN A STATE THAT DOES RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE: If you live in one of the above states and you "hold yourself out to be married" (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you can have a common law marriage (for more information on the specific requirements of each state, see next page). Common law marriage makes you a legally married couple in every way, even though you never obtained a marriage license. If you choose to end your relationship, you must get a divorce, even though you never had a wedding. Legally, common law married couples must play by all the same rules as "regular" married couples. If you live in one of the common law states and don't want your relationship to become a common law marriage, you must be clear that it is your intention not to marry. The attorneys who wrote Living Together (additional information below) recommend an agreement in writing that both partners sign and date: "Jane Smith and John Doe agree as follows: That they've been and plan to continue living together as two free, independent beings and that neither has ever intended to enter into any form of marriage, common law or otherwise
From: ms on 6 Nov 2005 10:00
The laws are such that...when my stbx felt that I should leave that he deserved the house, the kids, the car....he made my life absolutely miserable for over two years....on a daily basis. He knew there was no legal way to force me to leave! We both owned the house free and clear. He actually used to come out and say " i can't believe you're still here!" after all the abuse I took! Despite filing police reports of his abusive ways.... for my own safely and because I had somewhere to go and he didn't the Judge ordered me out for 90 days! It was the biggest mistake of my life to agree to that but I was battered, tired and beaten and at that point had he said, you will go to jail instead...it would have sounded WONDERFUL! Knowing now what I do... I should have refused and gone to jail instead! Yes, the laws make it easy! |