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From: Wayne Boatwright on 17 Sep 2005 02:58
On Fri 16 Sep 2005 08:26:24p, wrote in alt.support.grief.pet-loss:

> When he first saw Ginger in the cage, He watched her from a distance
> with much interest. He kept flying back and forth between the suspended
> cage and the curtain rod.
> This is the most I've seen him move in days.
>
> He kept slowly moving closer and closer. She hoped on a perch next
> to him, and moved toward him. He took off back to the curtain rod,
> and started over again. After a while, they settled in next to each
> other, playfully bantering back and forth.
> Already, he seems to really like her. She's much smaller
> than he is, and I was worried he might pick on her.
> He stays right next to her, preens her feathers, they beak
> wrestle together, and he looks like he has much of his spunk back.
> She lets him know when he gets too overbearing.
> So far, so good.
> He was too lonely to keep by himself much longer.
> I still talk to him about Henri, and he looks at me like he's
> listening.

It's a good thing you've done. Life does go on and we somehow survive and
hold our memories of those we've lost. Henri will always be with you.

--
Wayne Boatwright *?*
____________________________________________

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!

From: jimdep1 on 17 Sep 2005 10:28
Thanks Wayne. George and Ginger are really talking up a storm this
morning.
George is showing off by being a clown on top of the cage and she tries
to keep up with him along the bars on the inside. It looks like they're
having fun.
We are keeping the birds inside the cage with the door closed while we
are gone, and open it back up when someone's home.
Gingers' wings were clipped when we got her, so we put soft things
around the floor for her to fall on when she tries to fly out with him,
and then get her back inside the cage right away.
George and Henri used to get a surge of chatter going, and then they'd
both fly out together, do a few loops and return to the top of the
cage. I can see Ginger following the same pattern already, wishing she
had a full set of wings.

From: glsummer on 17 Sep 2005 14:30
On 14 Sep 2005 13:12:07 -0700, jimdep1(a)yahoo.com wrote:

>Wayne, Kim, Noon Cat Nick, Ginger-lyn.
>Your'e the best. Thanks again for encouragement
>during this extremely difficult time.
>
>George is starting to come around, but it's obvious to me that he's a
>very lonely bird. He looks like a lost soul.
>I had a long talk with George again last night, reminded him of how I
>feel, and how I think he feels, etc. I talked about how Henri has been
>called back to Heaven, much the same way I think I'd explain death to a
>
>young child. Geroge was more focused on my words more than I think
>I've ever seen him. I covered his cage and stayed up with him for a
>while. He perched himself so that he could see me sitting on the couch
>through an opening in the cover. Before Henri passed away, I don't
>recall George ever doing that.
>
>Someone else in this forum empahasised the importance of talking to a
>grieving pet. It really does make a difference.
>
>George looked totally lost this morning, and I didn't feel good about
>leaving him alone, but we had jobs and school to go to.
>
>
>While driving the 7 miles to work, thoughts of Henri during the final
>hours continued to hurt me like a knife. I thought about turning
>around, thinking I'd fall apart if someone cared enough to ask why I
>missed work the day before. Driving the back country roads with the sun
>
>coming up, I screamed "Fly Henri Fly!!!" as loud as I could, thinking
>maybe she could hear me. All in vain of course, but I felt better
>afterward.
>I made it through work today but it felt like I was in a vacuum of
>depression. I had the empty feeling that no one at the work place can
>relate to this type of experience. "Yup, that's right folks. All this
>over a bird." The subject never came up.
>
>
> I couldn't wait to get home to check on George. Later this afternoon,
>I was the first one to arrive home. As I approached, George greeted me
>
>with loud happy chirps before I even turned the front door knob . I was
>
>very excited to see him too. The problem remains, however that he is
>very lonely.
>
>
>I'm grateful for this forum consisting of sensitive, quality human
>beings as you have shown yourselves to be. My guess is that most anyone
>
>outside this forum would think I'm totally nuts.
>
>
>Since a little time has elapsed, I'd like to directly respond to a few
>of your comments while offering a few more descriptions and thoughts
>while the tragic event was happening, beginning with a recap:
>
>
>Saturday Night, Henri is fine. Plenty of energy and good appitite.
>Sunday 4am - Attack #1
>My dilemma:
>I could have left her alone giving her time to calm down, knowing I was
>
>risking her having a heart attack in her present paniced state, if I
>continued to try and catch her. Instead I chose to catch her and
>return her to the cage.
>I'm still struggling with this and it absolutely haunts me. I wish I'd
>let her sit and left her alone for a bit. Could that have prevented the
>
>second attack? I'll never know.
>
>
> Note: Usually there's always a little night light in the room, but it
>was off for some reason. I thought this may have contributed to the
>night-panic attack, which I hoped it still was until the 2nd attack
>convinced me otherwise.
>
>
>Mistake #2 - I'm kicking myself for not staying up to observe Henri
>after I placed her back in the cage, knowing this experience was
>extreme. Could that have prevented the second attack? I don't know.
>
>
>Attack #2 - 1/2 hour later
>For lack of a better word, I'll say that Henri was siezuring when Cindy
>
>took Henri out of the cage. Other than the brief calming when I
>whislted to her, she was completely unresponsive to us or George. She
>was squawking in a way that tore me to pieces, with her heart pounding.
>
>Her left wing and foot were twitching, her head was twitching and
>turning to one side. Her body temperature increased as time went on,
>her squawkes became weaker and her feathers were puffy until she died
>hours later.
>
>
> What vet we could reach said "We don't treat birds". When no one else
>
>responded, I had thoughts of putting her to sleep myself. Maybe
>drowning or sufficating would be more merciful than what she was going
>through.
>
>I couldn't do it. I wanted to believe that God would take her on His
>time table, and I needed to have faith. At 11am, well after Henri had
>lost much of her strength, a pet store about an hour's drive away
>offered to euthanize her, but said we couldn't be in the room with her.
>
>Again, we couldn't do it. We felt that Henri had already suffered the
>worst of it. At this point, she was fading and we wanted Henri to die
>at home with us holding her. It felt like the right thing to do.
>As difficut as it was,and is for my wife, she felt Henri's last heart
>beat.
>
>
>Thanks again for letting me get this out. You folks are the best.
>Looking forward, we think it would be good for George to get a new
>bird. He's only two and should have a playmate. It will happen, it's
>just a matter of when. Probably soon.
>Kim: Thanks again for the contacts. I have a few more leads than I had
>before.
>Wayne: Your words of comfort are much appreciated.
>Noon Cat Nick - Your are so right. I wish I could write poetry like
>that!
>Ginger-lyn - Our next bird will be named after you.

I am very honored by this. Thank you.

Please try to be gentle with yourself. There is no way to know what
might have helped Henri. She clearly was already ill, and I doubt
anything you did or didn't do before the second attack would have made
any difference. You did the best you could.

I'm sorry you couldn't find a vet that would allow you to be with her.
I feel very much like you do, and want to be with my babies at the
end, and I usually have been, except when circumstances prevented it.
I think it matters to them, I think they know we are there and feel
our love as they leave this life.

I agree with another poster about getting George another companion,
when you feel like you and your wife are ready. You cannot replace
Henri, but you sound like you have such a loving heart, and I believe
that there is room to love again, and to help George.

Here are a couple of sites that might help you out (if I didn't post
them before):

http:www.petloss.com

http://www.lightning-strike.com/

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Blessings,

Ginger-lyn

Home Pages:
http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/
http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy)
http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against
Animals in Movies Website)
From: jimdep1 on 18 Sep 2005 10:12
When I read your first post, I got the "vibe" to name her Ginger.
That's before I read through your homepages, which reinforced
the decision even more! I studied Near Death Experiences and read such
books as "Other Wolrd Journey's" by Carol Zeleski (sp?) in College
which gave me new awarenesses of life's mysteries.
The whole experience of Henri's life and passing has been very
significant,
including Georges' reaction, and continued behavior.
Thanks again for everything.

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