Oral herpes
in [Herpes]
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From: Eric on 21 Aug 2006 15:35 Fellow A.S.H'sters, Just wondering if anyone has any input on how to tell a partner about having oral herpes and how to best explain to them that it is herpes simplex type-1 which can infect their lips or other areas of their bodies. Also, any thoughts on when to tell someone this? Should I tell the person before ever even kissing them, or is that too soon in a relationship and likely to cause rejection? Thanks guys! ~Eric
From: Tim Fitzmaurice on 23 Aug 2006 09:47 On Mon, 21 Aug 2006, Eric wrote: > Fellow A.S.H'sters, > > Just wondering if anyone has any input on how to tell a partner about > having oral herpes and how to best explain to them that it is herpes > simplex type-1 which can infect their lips or other areas of their > bodies. Also, any thoughts on when to tell someone this? Should I tell > the person before ever even kissing them, or is that too soon in a > relationship and likely to cause rejection? The earlier the better, yes you might run the risk of rejection, but if someone kicks off before the event about cold sores - think how they will react if they dont find out till after. You could try staging the transfer of information (by which I mean do it in steady steps, not setting things up to engineer a conversation that way). Any number of people I know have very early on dropped it into the conversation that they get cold sores, sometimes by complaining about one they have now, or 'feeling one coming on'. This makes the other person aware of the cold sores in a non threatening manner that isnt a sudden big bad. Then its out in the open before kissing or anything else is on the cards. You might be able to extend the conversation to the details at the time. When it becomes on the cards - reopen the topic - with the 'you OK with this because there is a chance...' etc. Its less of a shock at that time. Easy steps, small bites etc are possibly easier to handle. THese things are kinda hard to go through because the person in question isnt in front of us nor do we know them. So expect to have to adjust things on the go. Comments anyone - as Im guessing to a fair extent here. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568
From: grant on 23 Aug 2006 10:30 "Tim Fitzmaurice" <tjf11(a)cam.ac.uk> wrote in message news:Pine.SOC.4.64.0608221636120.27877(a)libra.cus.cam.ac.uk... > Comments anyone - as Im guessing to a fair extent here. > > Tim Sounds good to me, Tim. I don't have cold sores so I don't have any insight from personal experience. ar
From: Eric on 23 Aug 2006 23:40 Tim, Thank you! I think you're right and I'm going to have to take it in "small steps". I know I could definitely get rejected, but I agree that it certainly is better to tell them as early as possible because I really don't want to spread this. And there certainly is going to have to be a lot of adjustment to the person and that's just something I have to feel out for myself I guess. Thanks again, ~Eric > On Mon, 21 Aug 2006, Eric wrote: > > > Fellow A.S.H'sters, > > > > Just wondering if anyone has any input on how to tell a partner about > > having oral herpes and how to best explain to them that it is herpes > > simplex type-1 which can infect their lips or other areas of their > > bodies. Also, any thoughts on when to tell someone this? Should I tell > > the person before ever even kissing them, or is that too soon in a > > relationship and likely to cause rejection? > > The earlier the better, yes you might run the risk of rejection, > but if someone kicks off before the event about cold sores - think how > they will react if they dont find out till after. > > You could try staging the transfer of information (by which I mean do it > in steady steps, not setting things up to engineer a conversation that > way). > > Any number of people I know have very early on dropped it into the > conversation that they get cold sores, sometimes by complaining about one > they have now, or 'feeling one coming on'. This makes the other person > aware of the cold sores in a non threatening manner that isnt a sudden big > bad. > > Then its out in the open before kissing or anything else is on the cards. > You might be able to extend the conversation to the details at the time. > > When it becomes on the cards - reopen the topic - with the 'you OK with > this because there is a chance...' etc. Its less of a shock at that time. > > Easy steps, small bites etc are possibly easier to handle. > > THese things are kinda hard to go through because the person in question > isnt in front of us nor do we know them. So expect to have to adjust > things on the go. > > Comments anyone - as Im guessing to a fair extent here. > > Tim > -- > When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart > ICQ: 5178568
From: Eric on 23 Aug 2006 23:48 Grant, Thanks for reading what Tim wrote. I think telling someone I have oral herpes is going to be very much like telling about genital herpes, so really even if there's any ideas you have for just telling people about herpes in general, they'd be great! I know it's going to be embarassing, but I've got to do it and I'm just looking for ideas to help. Perhaps maybe even Angela has some telling stories or knows someone who has disclosed their oral herpes status. I've seen some great methods in the genital herpes stories she has, and I'm sure some of these methods I can use, but perhaps she'll even know someone who has disclosed oral herpes to their partner. Thank you! ~Eric > Sounds good to me, Tim. I don't have cold sores so I don't have any insight > from personal experience. > > ar
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