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From: mon on 26 Sep 2008 09:33
Just venting a little---

The last month has been a bad month as I found out that three
people at work are starting the BIG D process, two other
individuals at work are having issues and a couple
my wife and I associated with split a year ago.

After speaking with some of these individuals and getting
mostly only one side of the story in some of the cases,
I find that the issues revolve around selfishness,
greed and lack of empathy.

My motto has always been "be fair and negotiate." I know that
the world is not fair but I wholeheartedly believe that
you should be fair and negotiate in close relationships.

I will admit to not living up to my side of the bargain on
a few occasions after trying multiple negotiations.

Throughout my years, I have only seen one marriage
that works the way I believe marriage should work.
This couple has had many ups and downs over their
40 years of marriage, but each one has carried the
ball during their partners down time. It is the most
amazing marriage I have ever seen.

I am wondering if I am in the minority in believing
in fairness within a marriage.

I know that each person can become selfish within a
marriage for a period of time and at multiple time,
but freakin 3/4 of the time just chaps my a$$.

I guess this sorta relates to rj's thread of
"Good Marriage, Anyone?"

mon
From: Erin on 26 Sep 2008 12:33


mon wrote:
> Just venting a little---
>
> The last month has been a bad month as I found out that three
> people at work are starting the BIG D process, two other
> individuals at work are having issues and a couple
> my wife and I associated with split a year ago.
>
> After speaking with some of these individuals and getting
> mostly only one side of the story in some of the cases,
> I find that the issues revolve around selfishness,
> greed and lack of empathy.
>
> My motto has always been "be fair and negotiate." I know that
> the world is not fair but I wholeheartedly believe that
> you should be fair and negotiate in close relationships.
>
> I will admit to not living up to my side of the bargain on
> a few occasions after trying multiple negotiations.
>
> Throughout my years, I have only seen one marriage
> that works the way I believe marriage should work.
> This couple has had many ups and downs over their
> 40 years of marriage, but each one has carried the
> ball during their partners down time. It is the most
> amazing marriage I have ever seen.
>
> I am wondering if I am in the minority in believing
> in fairness within a marriage.
>
> I know that each person can become selfish within a
> marriage for a period of time and at multiple time,
> but freakin 3/4 of the time just chaps my a$$.
>
> I guess this sorta relates to rj's thread of
> "Good Marriage, Anyone?"
>
> mon

My experience has been that when it comes to
"negotiations", you might prepare yourself by making
sure you are adequately armed. Some people are
in no position to negotiate at all and delude themselves that justice
will somehow fall from the sky because they are full
of compassion and love.

Erin
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