From: Zipadee on
On May 25, 8:24 am, Banty <Banty_mem...(a)newsguy.com> wrote:
> In article <d5d08276-2f61-41cf-8aea-508fa8ed5...(a)m36g2000hse.googlegroups.com>,
> Zipadee says...
>
> >The one area where I really can't decide what I think
> >is where the balance should be with a divorced parent
> >between spending time with kids and parenting them
> >vs having a social life and relationships. As much as
> >I like ex's fiancee, I really wish they had met a year
> >later when DS was away at college already so he (DS)
> >didn't have to go through all the changes with his
> >dad's living situation at this time. I've had some long
> >term relationships over the years since I've been
> >divorced but I never got them all that involved with
> >my kids and I've always been glad I did it that way.
>
> I absolutely agree with this. Holding off big changes like that for a year or
> so makes sense. Indeed social life doesn't have to be held off completely -
> it's the moving in and stuff that's really disruptive. I really wonder where
> the priorities are when people rush in to this when their kids are nearly grown.
> Finish that first, while continuing to date the prospective new partner.
>
> Banty

Yeah, that's what I think. Not that it does any good. Ex and fiancee
and her
kids moved in together less than 6 months after they met. I don't know
what
the rush was either. Her kids, who had to change home, town, and
school
seemed to have handled those changes better than my son who didn't
change town or school.

And today after some text message discussions with DS about his
possible
use of the car tomorrow, he called and suggested we go out to
breakfast
tomorrow! Will wonders never cease. So we're going to bike there.
Running hot and cold is right!

-- Zip
From: WhansaMi on

"Zipadee" <phonefantable(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:82e8df2d-bb7c-4007-88c9-adc47f5576ac(a)e53g2000hsa.googlegroups.com...
> Suggestions anyone? For the selfishness or for a summer activity?
>

I'd recommend requiring him to do a certain number of hours volunteering
each week in exchange for wheels and pocket money. Animal shelter, Girl's
and Boy's Club, soup kitchen. Let him spend the hours helping others really
in need.

Sheila