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From: Lori on 10 Nov 2007 16:55
A few days ago I thought since my car was not running I would just
walk over to the bank to cash a small check I received for taking
online surveys. It's about 4 block to the bank and of course 4 blocks
back home. Well I built up my courage and got out the door. I even
took my garbage down in the same trip.

Then I started out for the bank. It seems so close when I drive there
in my car. I sure didn't seem close walking there! :-( First I was
very nervous being out in public for that length of time. There is a
grocery store not too far from my bank so I decided to walk over there
first. It's a bit further than the bank.

After I got a few things at the grocery store, I continued on my
journey to the bank which is across the street and up a ways from the
grocery store. By the time I got to the bank I was really dragging.
I did go in and get the small check cashed. Then it was time to start
my journey back home. I was very nervous and stressed at this point.
All I wanted to do was get home.

Along with being agoraphobic, I also have many other health issues
including fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, arthritis, high blood
pressure...etc.

I found an area that had several benches in it and decided to stop and
take a little break. I sat there on the bench and looked around
trying to figure the shortest route back home!

I decided I could cut through some of the shopping areas and save a
few steps. I knew there was a place to cut through in the strip mall
that is right near where I live. I finally made it to that 'cut
through' and hobbled up the steps. Seeing my apartment building was a
beautiful sight! By then I could hardly walk at all. I did make it
over to the building and stopped outside the front door to check my
mail. Then went inside and hobbled up the stairs to my apartment.

I was very glad to be home and knew I had overdone it by going so far
on my first longer walk. My body was screaming with pain by the time
I got home. All I could do was get my shoes off and change into a
comfy lounging robe and rest on the sofa. I had no strength at all
left in me to do anything else. I really wanted to take a nice long
soak in a hot bath but just wasn't up to doing it then. I did manage
to get in the bath later and that hot water felt so good on my achy
breaky body!

I have learned my lesson and will not try that again until I am much
healthier and in a better state of mind. The positive side is, I got
done what I needed to do even though it really took it's toll on my
me.

I guess I have gone a bit off topic here and I'm sorry. Just needed
to let it all out. My body is still aching. I will be taking another
long soak in a hot bath later. I soaked for almost 2 hours last
night! A hot bath is very relaxing but I did not go to sleep! lol

Wishing you all the best weekend you can have :-)

Hugs,
Lori

From: Graffnoir on 10 Nov 2007 20:11
Hello (((Lori))) :).



On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:55:15 -0000, Lori <HeartOfUtah(a)gmail.com>
wrote:

>A few days ago I thought since my car was not running I would just
>walk over to the bank to cash a small check I received for taking
>online surveys. It's about 4 block to the bank and of course 4 blocks
>back home. Well I built up my courage and got out the door. I even
>took my garbage down in the same trip.

If you don't mind me asking what is wrong with your car ?. I'm glad to
hear you went out for a walk and managed 4 blocks which does sound
like a lot.....Excellent.....I'm proud of you (((Lori))).

>Then I started out for the bank. It seems so close when I drive there
>in my car. I sure didn't seem close walking there! :-( First I was
>very nervous being out in public for that length of time. There is a
>grocery store not too far from my bank so I decided to walk over there
>first. It's a bit further than the bank.

I know what you mean by seemed close by car. I have gone out for a
short ride on my bike and clocked up 20 miles before I noticed and
then found myself some distance from my safe place and thought " Mmmmm
might be a good idea to head a little more towards home ". Mind you
when I walk I know each and ever step I have traveled.

>After I got a few things at the grocery store, I continued on my
>journey to the bank which is across the street and up a ways from the
>grocery store. By the time I got to the bank I was really dragging.
>I did go in and get the small check cashed. Then it was time to start
>my journey back home. I was very nervous and stressed at this point.
>All I wanted to do was get home.

You know I don't know how many other people feel like I do but I find
the most unpleasant part of the trip out is the going to the planned
destination......the journey back I find more comfortable.....each
step being a step close to home. In a sense this is a negative way to
view the outing as its reaffirming the return journey as better than
going out....its something I must stop doing.

>Along with being agoraphobic, I also have many other health issues
>including fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, arthritis, high blood
>pressure...etc.

(((-(((Lori)))-))).

>I found an area that had several benches in it and decided to stop and
>take a little break. I sat there on the bench and looked around
>trying to figure the shortest route back home!

I must say something here.....You STOPPED....sat down and waited to
find a plan of action.....that's intently impressive. I would have had
the journey planned to the last step and added a contingency plan just
incase something went wrong followed by a third and maybe fourth plan
just incase. I cant believe you were able to stop and could wait for a
while until you worked out a new route. Well Done (((-(((Lori)))-))).

>I decided I could cut through some of the shopping areas and save a
>few steps. I knew there was a place to cut through in the strip mall
>that is right near where I live. I finally made it to that 'cut
>through' and hobbled up the steps. Seeing my apartment building was a
>beautiful sight! By then I could hardly walk at all. I did make it
>over to the building and stopped outside the front door to check my
>mail. Then went inside and hobbled up the stairs to my apartment.
>
>I was very glad to be home and knew I had overdone it by going so far
>on my first longer walk. My body was screaming with pain by the time
>I got home. All I could do was get my shoes off and change into a
>comfy lounging robe and rest on the sofa. I had no strength at all
>left in me to do anything else. I really wanted to take a nice long
>soak in a hot bath but just wasn't up to doing it then. I did manage
>to get in the bath later and that hot water felt so good on my achy
>breaky body!

After your incredible journey I think you should have put your feet up
and had a relaxing massage from a man of your choosing....or maybe for
preference.....a reward of a nice bar of chocolate......well as much
as the massage sounds I think the overall idea of chocolate sounds
yummy :). A nice shower or bath after a long walk does feel wonderful
doesn't it :).

>I have learned my lesson and will not try that again until I am much
>healthier and in a better state of mind. The positive side is, I got
>done what I needed to do even though it really took it's toll on my
>me.

I hope you are feeling much better now and are running around your
apartment like a 21 year old....or maybe like a 30 something year old
after a 6 pack of Red Bull :-).....well it works for me :-). The comfy
lounging robe is optional :).......Oooo its not a nice fluffy robe is
it ?. I always like the look of one of those.....Snuggly you know.

>I guess I have gone a bit off topic here and I'm sorry. Just needed
>to let it all out. My body is still aching. I will be taking another
>long soak in a hot bath later. I soaked for almost 2 hours last
>night! A hot bath is very relaxing but I did not go to sleep! lol

Ah sleep....I could use some of that myself tonight. Haven't slept in
48 hours or so and I'm feeling a little odd.

>Wishing you all the best weekend you can have :-)

I'm working on not loosing my mind at the moment. I would say I'm
crying myself to sleep but I'm not getting any sleep. Still nil
desperandum....I might get a little tonight.

>Hugs,
>Lori

(((Mellow Gentle Squishes))) to you and all whom you love :)


On The Sea Of Infinite Tranquility
Sail On
From: Lori on 11 Nov 2007 09:51
Hello (((Graff))) :-)

I'm not real sure what is wrong with my car but it will not start. It's
like there is no battery in it at all. Not even any clicking noise like
a normal dead battery makes. I just bought this new battery in June of
this year so it's very frustrating to not be able to start my car and
drive it to place I need to go. The guy who came out here from Sears
(where I bought the battery) said he 'thinks' its an electrical problem.

I have a new counselor at Vocational Rehab who is working on getting
authorization to have my car towed and repaired. He knows that it is
stressing me out big time and giving me lots of anxiety. These things
are not good for any of my health issues.

Yes, walking is much different than any other way of getting around.

To be honest I didn't enjoy the walk either to the bank or home from the
bank. It was just too much for me.

Thanks for the hug. I needed it. :-)

I had to stop as I could no longer go on at that point. i needed to
rest my feet, knee's and back as they were all screaming with pain.
There were no other people on any of the other benches so I did feel
semi-safe sitting there for about 5 minutes.

I'd probably do better with the chocolate bar as my luck with men has
not been too good in the past couple of years. A chocolate bar does
sound yummy and I may go get one today. No, I'm not walking to get it.
I may take a cab to the grocery store as I need other things too.

Oh yes!! My long soak in a scented bath by candlelight was wonderful.
I did not want to get out at all! lol

I don't drink alcoholic beverages but probably could have used one that
day!

No my lounging robes are not the 'fluffy' types...Just comfy. lol

I'm sorry to hear you are not sleeping. Maybe you need to get some
Melatonin. Do you have it available at your grocery or pharmacy there?
It's an all natural sleep aid. There is nothing in it that will harm
you or make you addicted to it.

I take one almost every night and sleep like a baby! And no, I am not
addictied to it. I have slept quite a few nights without it.

I hope you were able to get even a little bit of sleep last night. Your
body needs sleep to be able to deal with other things.
I also hope you are feeling better my friend.

Thank you for the Squishes. Always enjoy those! :-)

Please take good care of yourself.

(((((Graff)))))

Lori

From: Graffnoir on 11 Nov 2007 19:51
Hello (((Lori))) :).



On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 07:51:31 -0700, LoriLuvsHearts2(a)webtv.net (Lori)
wrote:

>Hello (((Graff))) :-)

Hello (((Lori))).

>I'm not real sure what is wrong with my car but it will not start. It's
>like there is no battery in it at all. Not even any clicking noise like
>a normal dead battery makes. I just bought this new battery in June of
>this year so it's very frustrating to not be able to start my car and
>drive it to place I need to go. The guy who came out here from Sears
>(where I bought the battery) said he 'thinks' its an electrical problem.

I'm no expert by any means and its possible it could be electrical or
a start motor or maybe something simple like a loose connection.

>I have a new counselor at Vocational Rehab who is working on getting
>authorization to have my car towed and repaired. He knows that it is
>stressing me out big time and giving me lots of anxiety. These things
>are not good for any of my health issues.

I hope it is all sorted out soon (((Lori))).

>Yes, walking is much different than any other way of getting around.

Its nice to have the option.

>To be honest I didn't enjoy the walk either to the bank or home from the
>bank. It was just too much for me.

Well its over now and with any luck your car will be up and running in
no time.

>Thanks for the hug. I needed it. :-)

Your more than welcome (((-(((Lori)))-))).

>I had to stop as I could no longer go on at that point. i needed to
>rest my feet, knee's and back as they were all screaming with pain.
>There were no other people on any of the other benches so I did feel
>semi-safe sitting there for about 5 minutes.

Its an accomplishment (((Lori))).

>I'd probably do better with the chocolate bar as my luck with men has
>not been too good in the past couple of years. A chocolate bar does
>sound yummy and I may go get one today. No, I'm not walking to get it.
>I may take a cab to the grocery store as I need other things too.

Well if anyone wants a gamble ( A thing I don't do but I think I have
a very good chance at winning this one sadly ) at the period of time
sine a successful attempt at dating then I see your couple of years
and raise you..........Oh Hell.......your still counting in years and
not decades......you haven't got a chance :(. Mind you the idea of
chocolate at the moment sounds good.

>Oh yes!! My long soak in a scented bath by candlelight was wonderful.
>I did not want to get out at all! lol

Well that sentence is the closest to sex I've been in ages :-)....And
thanks to the hidden webcam in your bathroom I have to agree it was a
wonderful bath indeed......Oh you didn't know about the secret webcam
that was hidden in the upper corner of the bathroom ?.......well they
say you learn something new every day LOL.

>I don't drink alcoholic beverages but probably could have used one that
>day!

I'm also tea total.....mind you I have found a zero alcohol beer thing
which was nice.......oh and a nice brand of coffee :).

>No my lounging robes are not the 'fluffy' types...Just comfy. lol

Not fluffy.....bummer.....I picture extra fluffy and cuddly....mind
you I like that idea.

>I'm sorry to hear you are not sleeping. Maybe you need to get some
>Melatonin. Do you have it available at your grocery or pharmacy there?
>It's an all natural sleep aid. There is nothing in it that will harm
>you or make you addicted to it.

I've never heard of melatonin.

>I take one almost every night and sleep like a baby! And no, I am not
>addictied to it. I have slept quite a few nights without it.

I have a lot on my mind that's all.....once I get chance to sort
things out it might improve.

>I hope you were able to get even a little bit of sleep last night. Your
>body needs sleep to be able to deal with other things.
>I also hope you are feeling better my friend.

I managed to get 5 hours..I feel better now.

>Thank you for the Squishes. Always enjoy those! :-)

I'm glad to hear it (((Lori))) :).

>Please take good care of yourself.

I'm working on it :).

>(((((Graff)))))

Thank you for the Squishes (((Lori))) :).

>Lori

(((Mellow Gentle Squishes))) to you and all whom you love :)


On The Sea Of Infinite Tranquility
Sail On
From: Lori on 12 Nov 2007 18:15
Hello ((((Graff)))) :-)

Yes it is possible it oculd be a loose connection on my car battery that
is causing it to not start or it could be the starter has gone out. I
have never replaced the starter and I have had the car since 1996 so it
may be time.

Hopefully I will find out soon what is wrong with it and when it will be
fixed. That will be a HUGE relief to know I have a way to get around
again. Walking is not working for me and seems to just make me more
stressed and gives me more in pain all over.

Thank you for the hug, I hope the car situation will be straightened out
soon too. My feet and legs do not want to take me anywhere esle. They
are still angry from the last 2 trips. :-(

Yes, I agree, anytime out in public is an accomplishment and I have sure
put that to the test in the last week! Yikes!

LOL @ the hidden webcam in my bathroom! Silly you! hehe. You might be
rather shocked if you really did have a cam in there! lol

I'm glad to hear your were able to get 5 hours of sleep. You sure
needed it. I hope you are feeling much better today.

Thank you for the all those nice Squishes!

Take care (((((((Graff)))))))

Lori

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