Miscarriages
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From: dejablues on 4 Aug 2008 22:33 "saulgoode" <pudboyss(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message news:fc706c12-2572-47fd-a0ff-517af5e9849b(a)k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com... > Why don't we bury our miscarries? > > Instead, we flush. > > His/her name would've started with a D, that's as far as we got. > > Then, swhooosh... > > > - Saul > > (ps, My marriage ended in no small part owing to a late first- > trimester miscarry, and I watched my cousin do the same thing to her > husband. I understand it hits the woman much, much, much much harder, > but that doesn't mean the guy doesn't bleed, too.) It depends on a lot of things, I guess. I worked with a woman whose daughter miscarried at 8 weeks or so, and before she left the hospital, was presented with a jar containing the fetus. They were perplexed, but ended up burying it in the yard. I have a morbid fascination with dead baby memorial websites, and am amazed when people post pics (often graphic and bloody) and memorialize a fetus that was miscarried long before it was viable. I would never do that. Many pregnancies do not end in a live baby. That's the way it is.
From: Tai on 5 Aug 2008 08:45 dejablues wrote: > "saulgoode" <pudboyss(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:fc706c12-2572-47fd-a0ff-517af5e9849b(a)k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com... >> Why don't we bury our miscarries? >> >> Instead, we flush. >> >> His/her name would've started with a D, that's as far as we got. >> >> Then, swhooosh... >> >> >> - Saul >> >> (ps, My marriage ended in no small part owing to a late first- >> trimester miscarry, and I watched my cousin do the same thing to her >> husband. I understand it hits the woman much, much, much much harder, >> but that doesn't mean the guy doesn't bleed, too.) > > It depends on a lot of things, I guess. > I worked with a woman whose daughter miscarried at 8 weeks or so, and > before she left the hospital, was presented with a jar containing the > fetus. They were perplexed, but ended up burying it in the yard. > I have a morbid fascination with dead baby memorial websites, and am > amazed when people post pics (often graphic and bloody) and > memorialize a fetus that was miscarried long before it was viable. I > would never do that. Many pregnancies do not end in a live baby. That's > the way it is. Yep. I've lost a pregnancy at a flushable stage but I'd have buried a recognisable embryo or foetus in our garden (well, really, what else could you do with it!) and said a mental goodbye to the idea of a child it had teased us with for a time. But pictures and a memorial website ?! Good grief. Saul, why didn't you two just try again?
From: saulgoode on 5 Aug 2008 10:58 On Aug 5, 7:45 am, "Tai" <tainuitiDEL...(a)gmail.com.invalid> wrote: > dejablues wrote: > > "saulgoode" <pudbo...(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message > >news:fc706c12-2572-47fd-a0ff-517af5e9849b(a)k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com.... > >> Why don't we bury our miscarries? > > >> Instead, we flush. > > >> His/her name would've started with a D, that's as far as we got. > > >> Then, swhooosh... > > >> - Saul > > >> (ps, My marriage ended in no small part owing to a late first- > >> trimester miscarry, and I watched my cousin do the same thing to her > >> husband. I understand it hits the woman much, much, much much harder, > >> but that doesn't mean the guy doesn't bleed, too.) > > > It depends on a lot of things, I guess. > > I worked with a woman whose daughter miscarried at 8 weeks or so, and > > before she left the hospital, was presented with a jar containing the > > fetus. They were perplexed, but ended up burying it in the yard. > > I have a morbid fascination with dead baby memorial websites, and am > > amazed when people post pics (often graphic and bloody) and > > memorialize a fetus that was miscarried long before it was viable. I > > would never do that. Many pregnancies do not end in a live baby. That's > > the way it is. > > Yep. > > I've lost a pregnancy at a flushable stage but I'd have buried a > recognisable embryo or foetus in our garden (well, really, what else could > you do with it!) and said a mental goodbye to the idea of a child it had > teased us with for a time. But pictures and a memorial website ?! Good > grief. > > Saul, why didn't you two just try again? We weren't trying ;) Plus, this is her fourth miscarry, and she's only 26. Something's twisted around down there, and each attempt makes her feel more and more responsible. She has one child from another guy, and counts herself very lucky for that. I did tell her, though, that this was God's warning shot across our bow. The next one'll take, and if it's this easy to get her knocked up, it'll probably be twins -- I practically sent her an unprotected txt msg, and she got pregnant. - Saul
From: Tai on 5 Aug 2008 17:48 saulgoode wrote: > On Aug 5, 7:45 am, "Tai" <tainuitiDEL...(a)gmail.com.invalid> wrote: >> dejablues wrote: >>> "saulgoode" <pudbo...(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message >>> news:fc706c12-2572-47fd-a0ff-517af5e9849b(a)k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com... >>>> Why don't we bury our miscarries? >> >>>> Instead, we flush. >> >>>> His/her name would've started with a D, that's as far as we got. >> >>>> Then, swhooosh... >> >>>> - Saul >> >>>> (ps, My marriage ended in no small part owing to a late first- >>>> trimester miscarry, and I watched my cousin do the same thing to >>>> her husband. I understand it hits the woman much, much, much much >>>> harder, but that doesn't mean the guy doesn't bleed, too.) >> >>> It depends on a lot of things, I guess. >>> I worked with a woman whose daughter miscarried at 8 weeks or so, >>> and before she left the hospital, was presented with a jar >>> containing the fetus. They were perplexed, but ended up burying it >>> in the yard. >>> I have a morbid fascination with dead baby memorial websites, and am >>> amazed when people post pics (often graphic and bloody) and >>> memorialize a fetus that was miscarried long before it was viable. I >>> would never do that. Many pregnancies do not end in a live baby. >>> That's the way it is. >> >> Yep. >> >> I've lost a pregnancy at a flushable stage but I'd have buried a >> recognisable embryo or foetus in our garden (well, really, what else >> could you do with it!) and said a mental goodbye to the idea of a >> child it had teased us with for a time. But pictures and a memorial >> website ?! Good grief. >> >> Saul, why didn't you two just try again? > > > We weren't trying ;) I meant you and your wife! Even if that baby hadn't been planned feeling a great deal of distress after a miscarriage can be a pretty good indication that it had been a welcome pregnancy. You already had one child and I'm assuming another baby would have been welcomed even if the timing had been a litle off right then for whatever reason. > > Plus, this is her fourth miscarry, and she's only 26. Something's > twisted around down there, and each attempt makes her feel more and > more responsible. She has one child from another guy, and counts > herself very lucky for that. Oh boy. Saul, what the hell are you thinking? > > I did tell her, though, that this was God's warning shot across our > bow. The next one'll take, and if it's this easy to get her knocked > up, it'll probably be twins -- I practically sent her an unprotected > txt msg, and she got pregnant. Well, no. You had unprotected sex with a woman you aren't married to and with whom you can only be as much as at the beginning of a long term relationship. She's the grand old age of 26 and has already had at least 5 pregnancies. I believe you that you didn't plan this one but it's hard for me to believe she's being trying very hard not to conceive. You seem to be suggesting the exact opposite and that she's actually trying to prove her own fecundity in less than ideal circumstances. Now imagine your son is all grown up and he's in the same situation you are in. What do you think you'd be telling him? If you're going to keep putting on that shiny suit of armour and go out looking for damsels to rescue, at least slip on your rubber underwear first! (Yeah, I know, it's absolutely none of my business. :o) But, by crikey, some of the things you say make the hairs on the back of my neck go straight up in referred fear!)
From: dejablues on 5 Aug 2008 23:54
"saulgoode" <pudboyss(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message news:c67afae2-ca39-4ddc-a171-a4ecc3f673d9(a)b1g2000hsg.googlegroups.com... >Plus, this is her fourth miscarry, and she's only 26. Something's t>wisted around down there, and each attempt makes her feel more and >more responsible. She has one child from another guy, and counts >herself very lucky for that. If getting pregnant is her goal, she needs to see an OB-GYN for a complete workup, and a reproductive endocrinologist for further testing. Four miscarriages is not just bad luck. It might be something easily fixable. If it's not, at least she will know what she's dealing with and can move on from there. Shrugging it off as "something's twisted around down there" and continuing to attempt pregnancy is not very responsible >I did tell her, though, that this was God's warning shot across our >bow. The next one'll take, and if it's this easy to get her knocked >up, it'll probably be twins -- I practically sent her an unprotected >txt msg, and she got pregnant. God has nothing to do with it. This is an entirely human situation. Deal with it, or don't, but cease the whining. |