MY RAMBLING INTRO
in [Recovery]
|
Prev: MI5 Persecution: .net Magazine Applauds my Website (12580)
Next: MI5 Persecution: Browse the Website (3362)
From: O.R.R. on 1 Dec 2007 05:14 I have not done a intro in a very long time in my depression groups. You may see this same intro posted elsewhere. :) I am a 31 y-o woman who is diagnosed Bipolar Manic Depressive NOS with Panic/Anxiety Disorder. I am currently on Seroquel 200mg Twice daily AM/PM, Lamictal 100mg One time daily AM, Buspar 10mg Three times daily, Xanax 0.50 up to three times daily. I know that the current combo of meds needs to be adjusted as I have felt so bad the past 3 days that I feel like I am back to square one and took 10 steps back and ready to be the mascot for the local psych ward again. I feel so good for a while and feel happy then it's like the "mental illness monster" says AHA! I got you! Your really were not feeling good but you were just heading back down to crash again. I don't literally hear that just well you know what I mean. Sometimes it is very hard to find the right words to describe how I feel. I can't trust my own body and it pisses me off. I can't tell if I am truly happy or in a manic state. I have been a hard to treat person since I have been diagnosed I think in 95 or 96. I have tried so many meds that haven't worked and with the ones that do work, it only helps for a while then back to square one. Then my meds are adjusted and dosages raised as high as they can go and then back to finding a new med to try and the cycle continues. I wonder if one day they will run out of meds to try on me and then what? The worst thing about this mental illness tick on my a$$ is that it has greatly affected my ability to care for and parent my children who do not live with me. That is where the real anger and guilt rides with me. I may feel so great for a while with my kids then have a episode that lasts weeks and sometimes months. During that time I call them but I cannot take care of them for long periods of times. Some days just a hour or two...Some days not at all. Anyways, That's my rambling intro. :) Sam C. -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com |