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From: amandaF on 5 Aug 2008 00:57
just wondering kind of cluelessly *again* why my oldest sister chose
to treat me the way she did.I mean, regardless of jealousy or
whatever, coming form the kind of family we have, meaning how both of
our parents were so ethical, I just couldn't understand how she could
be like that. Eventually, I did some google search and came across
this link. http://www.safe4all.org/forums/message-view?message_id=52560

Reading this in the response at the end "Basically, I think you need
to stop looking to your sister and parents for permission to accept
and value yourself. You're an adult now" just hit th spot. In my case,
my parents had no faults. In fact, my mother realized during hr last
visit how my sister was to me. She just stopped short of saying how
her older sister was to her.

Even though I already came to terms with the fact that I didn't need
her to say positively (openly) about how I had my act together, i.e.
showed approval instead of seeing all the things I did with some sort
of resentment (because it did not fulfill her hope to see me as a
statistics), it was interesting to realize how I could just lose track
of the conclusion I have come to and got stuck again subconsciously
trying to understand why she couldn't treatme right...

Anyway, I thought I'd share this in case anyone goes through what I
did today to realize that youdon't need anyone's approval to know you
are a decent person and that you have a fundamental worth/
dignity.....Nor does it seem that she has (or has ever had) your best
interests at heart.
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