I am looking for some word to say at my mom's graveside service TOMORROW AM [Grief]

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From: pattyc4303 on 11 Jul 2008 21:53

I know it's ridiculous, but hours before we commit our Mom's cremains
to burial, I am realizing I wish I'd thought of something to say. We
had visitation and a funeral mass. Now I am thinking it's so COLD to
just drop her off and leave the grave site.

I read something lovely related to 9/11 once, but of course can't find
it now. A poem that said, more of less, don't grieve for me and enjoy
your life.

In any case, thinking that is the nature of what I'd like to read at
10am Saturday morning... might anyone have suggestions of a poem that
is not real long and not super religious.. that I could read while we
lay my mom to her final rest?

Any thoughts appreciated. And sorry if I sound cold for not having
figured this out already. I am thinking it took so much out of us to
get through her death and funeral home stuff... we didn't really think
about this last step, which is occurring almost 3 weeks after her
death.

Thanks,
Patty

From: Ken McM. on 11 Jul 2008 22:23

From: Noon Cat Nick on 11 Jul 2008 22:28

pattyc4303 wrote:
> I know it's ridiculous, but hours before we commit our Mom's cremains
> to burial, I am realizing I wish I'd thought of something to say. We
> had visitation and a funeral mass. Now I am thinking it's so COLD to
> just drop her off and leave the grave site.
>
> I read something lovely related to 9/11 once, but of course can't find
> it now. A poem that said, more of less, don't grieve for me and enjoy
> your life.
>
> In any case, thinking that is the nature of what I'd like to read at
> 10am Saturday morning... might anyone have suggestions of a poem that
> is not real long and not super religious.. that I could read while we
> lay my mom to her final rest?
>
> Any thoughts appreciated. And sorry if I sound cold for not having
> figured this out already. I am thinking it took so much out of us to
> get through her death and funeral home stuff... we didn't really think
> about this last step, which is occurring almost 3 weeks after her
> death.
>
> Thanks,
> Patty

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come-I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird
I loved, please do not let the thought of me
Be sad .... For I am loving you just as
I always have ... You were so good, to me!
There are so many things I wanted still
To do --- so many things to say to you ...
Remember that I did not fear ... It was
Just leaving you that was so hard to face ...
We cannot see Beyond.. But this I know:
I loved you so - 'twas heaven here with you!

--Isla Paschal Richardson

Farewell, my friends, yet not farewell,
Where I go you too shall dwell.
I am gone before your face,
A moment's time, a little space.
When you come where I have stepped,
You will wonder why you wept.

--Edwin Arnold

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

--Mary K. Frye

With you a part of me hath passed away;
For in the peopled forest of my mind
A tree made leafless by this wintry wind
Shall never don again its green array.
Chapel and fireside, country road and bay,
Have something of their friendliness resigned;
Another, if I would, I could not find,
And I am grown much older in a day.
But yet I treasure in my memory
Your gift of charity, and young hearts ease,
And the dear honour of your amity;
For these once mine, my life is rich with these.
And I scarce know which part may greater be,--
What I keep of you, or you rob from me.

--George Santayana

Warm summer sun
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
Blow softly here,
Green sod above
Lie light, lie light--
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.

--adapted from Robert Richardson�s poem �Annette� by Samuel Langhorne
Clemens (Mark Twain) as the epitaph for his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens

Among the saints give rest, O Christ,
to the soul of Your servant,
where there is no sickness, or sorrow, or suffering,
but life everlasting.

Eternal in memory,
eternal in memory,
may her memory be eternal.

--from the Eastern Orthodox funeral liturgy

From: pattyc4303 on 12 Jul 2008 08:03

On Jul 11, 10:28 pm, Noon Cat Nick <chatdemidiSPAMBEG...(a)hotmail.com>
wrote:
> pattyc4303 wrote:
> > I know it's ridiculous, but hours before we commit our Mom's cremains
> > to burial, I am realizing I wish I'd thought of something to say. We
> > had visitation and a funeral mass. Now I am thinking it's so COLD to
> > just drop her off and leave the grave site.
>
> > I read something lovely related to 9/11 once, but of course can't find
> > it now. A poem that said, more of less, don't grieve for me and enjoy
> > your life.
>
> > In any case, thinking that is the nature of what I'd like to read at
> > 10am Saturday morning... might anyone have suggestions of a poem that
> > is not real long and not super religious.. that I could read while we
> > lay my mom to her final rest?
>
> > Any thoughts appreciated. And sorry if I sound cold for not having
> > figured this out already. I am thinking it took so much out of us to
> > get through her death and funeral home stuff... we didn't really think
> > about this last step, which is occurring almost 3 weeks after her
> > death.
>
> > Thanks,
> > Patty
>
> If I should ever leave you whom I love
> To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
> Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
> Of me as if I were beside you there.
> (I'd come-I'd come, could I but find a way!
> But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
> And when you hear a song or see a bird
> I loved, please do not let the thought of me
> Be sad .... For I am loving you just as
> I always have ... You were so good, to me!
> There are so many things I wanted still
> To do --- so many things to say to you ...
> Remember that I did not fear ... It was
> Just leaving you that was so hard to face ...
> We cannot see Beyond.. But this I know:
> I loved you so - 'twas heaven here with you!
>
> --Isla Paschal Richardson
>
> Farewell, my friends, yet not farewell,
> Where I go you too shall dwell.
> I am gone before your face,
> A moment's time, a little space.
> When you come where I have stepped,
> You will wonder why you wept.
>
> --Edwin Arnold
>
> Do not stand at my grave and weep,
> I am not there, I do not sleep.
>
> I am in a thousand winds that blow,
> I am the softly falling snow.
> I am the gentle showers of rain,
> I am the fields of ripening grain.
>
> I am in the morning hush,
> I am in the graceful rush
> Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
> I am the starshine of the night.
>
> I am in the flowers that bloom,
> I am in a quiet room,
> I am the birds that sing,
> I am in each lovely thing.
>
> Do not stand at my grave and cry,
> I am not there. I do not die.
>
> --Mary K. Frye
>
> With you a part of me hath passed away;
> For in the peopled forest of my mind
> A tree made leafless by this wintry wind
> Shall never don again its green array.
> Chapel and fireside, country road and bay,
> Have something of their friendliness resigned;
> Another, if I would, I could not find,
> And I am grown much older in a day.
> But yet I treasure in my memory
> Your gift of charity, and young hearts ease,
> And the dear honour of your amity;
> For these once mine, my life is rich with these.
> And I scarce know which part may greater be,--
> What I keep of you, or you rob from me.
>
> --George Santayana
>
> Warm summer sun
> Shine kindly here,
> Warm southern wind
> Blow softly here,
> Green sod above
> Lie light, lie light--
> Good night, dear heart,
> Good night, good night.
>
> --adapted from Robert Richardsons poem Annette by Samuel Langhorne
> Clemens (Mark Twain) as the epitaph for his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens
>
> Among the saints give rest, O Christ,
> to the soul of Your servant,
> where there is no sickness, or sorrow, or suffering,
> but life everlasting.
>
> Eternal in memory,
> eternal in memory,
> may her memory be eternal.
>
> --from the Eastern Orthodox funeral liturgy- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Wow.

Thank you both so much.

Patty

From: michaelcox121 on 23 Jul 2008 13:58

On Jul 11, 6:53 pm, pattyc4303 <pattyc4...(a)aol.com> wrote:
> I know it's ridiculous, but hours before we commit our Mom's cremains
> to burial, Iamrealizing I wish I'd thought of something to say. We
> had visitation and a funeral mass. Now Iamthinking it's so COLD to
> just drop her off and leave the grave site.
>
> I read something lovely related to 9/11 once, but of course can't find
> it now. A poem that said, more of less, don't grieve for me and enjoy
> your life.
>
> In any case, thinking that is the nature of what I'd like to read at
> 10am Saturday morning... might anyone have suggestions of a poem that
> is not real long and not super religious.. that I could read while we
> lay my mom to her final rest?
>
> Any thoughts appreciated. And sorry if I sound cold for not having
> figured this out already. Iamthinking it took so much out of us to
> get through her death and funeral home stuff... we didn't really think
> about this last step, which is occurring almost 3 weeks after her
> death.
>
> Thanks,
> Patty

This is what I said at my moms cremation,,,, It brought tears and made
people think. I hope it helps. I feel for your loss and if you need to
talk, remember that we all lose loved ones and so many around you can
offer help if you just express yourself to them.

1 Corinthians 15:51-57 (New International Version)
51Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all
be changed 52in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last
trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised
imperishable, and we will be changed. 53For the perishable must clothe
itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When
the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal
with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true:
"Death has been swallowed up in victory."[a]
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus
Christ.

John 11:21-26
21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother
would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you
whatever you ask."
23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at
the last day."
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who
believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and
believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
The Coming of the Lord
13Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall
asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We
believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will
bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15According to
the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are
left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who
have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven,
with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the
trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After
that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together
with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be
with the Lord forever. 18Therefore encourage each other with these
words.

Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside still waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his names sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff,
They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

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