From: David on
"Marriage is honorable; let us all keep it so,
and the marriage-bond inviolate." Hebrews 13:4

From the Sermon on the Mount it is clear even anger,
"legal" divorce, retribution within the limits prescribed
by law, and love confined to friends go against God's will.

Christ's "better" righteousness challenges us to live
marriage as till-death-do-us-part commitment and return to love.

God has planted a treasure in your marriage.

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SUGGESTED READING

1. Waite & Gallagher. THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE. 2000.

2. Griswold, Robert. "Successful Marriage" cassette, Effective
Learning Systems, 1988.

Relaxation exercises with affirmations to increase love &
happiness in marriage.

3. Mickey, Paul, B.D., Ph.D. with William Proctor. TOUGH
MARRIAGE: HOW TO MAKE A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP WORK.
New York: Morrow 1986. 224p.

Today, marriage is "just another support system which isn't
necessarily tied to deep-rooted spiritual and societal values."
Pastoral counselor Mickey firmly believes husband & wife must
"quit focusing on [their] rights." Their first commitment
must be to the marriage.

As a guide, the author offers twelve commandments for them
to follow - from breaking bread together to putting your mate
on a pedestal.

The basic approach to resolving any marital problem is the
practice of "speaking truth in love." You can often phrase the
truth so that it invites the other to a thoughtful, honest
response instead of a defensive one to an attack or accusation.

4. Coleman, Paul, Dr. THE FORGIVING MARRIAGE: RESOLVING ANGER
AND RESENTMENT AND REDISCOVERING EACH OTHER. Chicago:
Contemporary Books Inc., 1989. 272p. Bibliography; no index.

The author, a clinical psychologist, shows that marriages
suffering from broken promises, disillusionment, boredom, or
flagrant betrayal can be healed. Step-by-step spouses find
what it takes to forgive, let go of their hurt, and rediscover
the reasons they fell in love in the first place.

5. Medved, Diane, Ph.D. THE CASE AGAINST DIVORCE. New York:
Donald Fine Inc., 1989. 262p. Extensive footnotes.

A brilliant prosecution of divorce as public enemy #1.
As a clinical psychologist, the author argues for couples on
the verge of marital breakup to do their utmost to avoid it:
"I discovered in my research that the process and aftermath
of divorce is so pervasively disastrous to body, mind, and
spirit that in an overwhelming number of cases, the 'cure'
that it brings is surely worse than the marriage's 'disease.'"

Quoting from 200 "witnesses" who testify to divorce's
long-term hardships, she makes clear that ex-spouses and their
children bear emotional scars, reduced financial/social status,
and other wounds.

Peace out,
David Christainsen
Newton, Mass USA