Feeling alone
in [Grief]
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From: pcatalani on 8 Jan 2008 22:44 Hello old friends & welcome newcomers, sorry we have reason to be here, but glad to have someone to talk to tonite. I'm just feeling kinda down tonite, no particular reason though ( I mean today isn't an anniversary or anything), just thinking about my Jenn & really missing her company, her smile, I miss having another female around to talk to, we had some interesting conversations. I am surrounded by males (no offense guys) but all I have now is my husband, 2 sons, grandsons. I love them all dearly but that sure makes me miss the times with my daughter all that much more. Some days shes on my mind constantly, I want to see her so much, have her here with me. I was looking at some photos, she had such a pretty smile, beautiful long dark hair, & green eyes, sort of like a cat that we have hanging around work. Sounds weird, but the eyes are the same shade of green. I wonder if I'm losing it sometimes, gets hard to concentrate on things, remember things, get things done. But i guess I do have my, on the ball days too, where all works out ok. Sometimes I can keep it all together, other times well..........., I'm sure you all know what I mean. I think about the rest of my life, being just like this, never seeing her again, always the missing piece to my family puzzle, never to be completed. Sorry for rambling, just a down evening for me, random thoughts, no answers. Thanks for your patience & listening, & being here, it helps. I remember once someone here, ( sorry for not remembering who you are), mentioned writting a letter to their deceased loved one, said it helped.Maybe I'll go try that, put things on paper, it may help me too. I'll have all of you in my thoughts, talk to you soon. Thanks again . Hugs for all, Pat
From: donna on 9 Jan 2008 01:54 hi pat, good to see you; sad to see you ... you know what i mean. you are so right ... random thoughts and no answers. i think of you and jenn often, especially when i see flowers and crosses on poles or along side the road. yesterday savannah turned 24 years old. it was another tough one, i slept most of the day and night. that seems to be my escape now. give your grandsons a kiss for me my friend, donna
From: Caz on 9 Jan 2008 12:16 pcatalani(a)comcast.net wrote: > Hello old friends & welcome newcomers, sorry we have reason to be > here, but glad to have someone to talk to tonite. I'm just feeling > kinda down tonite, no particular reason though ( I mean today isn't an > anniversary or anything), just thinking about my Jenn & really missing > her company, her smile, I miss having another female around to talk > to, we had some interesting conversations. I am surrounded by males > (no offense guys) but all I have now is my husband, 2 sons, grandsons. > I love them all dearly but that sure makes me miss the times with my > daughter all that much more. Some days shes on my mind constantly, I > want to see her so much, have her here with me. I was looking at some > photos, she had such a pretty smile, beautiful long dark hair, & green > eyes, sort of like a cat that we have hanging around work. Sounds > weird, but the eyes are the same shade of green. I wonder if I'm > losing it sometimes, gets hard to concentrate on things, remember > things, get things done. But i guess I do have my, on the ball days > too, where all works out ok. Sometimes I can keep it all together, > other times well..........., I'm sure you all know what I mean. I > think about the rest of my life, being just like this, never seeing > her again, always the missing piece to my family puzzle, never to be > completed. Sorry for rambling, just a down evening for me, > random thoughts, no answers. Thanks for your patience & listening, & > being here, it helps. I remember once someone here, ( sorry for not > remembering who you are), mentioned writting a letter to their > deceased loved one, said it helped.Maybe I'll go try that, put things > on paper, it may help me too. I'll have all of you in my thoughts, > talk to you soon. Thanks again . Hugs for > all, > Pat > Hi Pat. I know that feeling all too well. It scares me to think I will never hear Scott again or hug him again, see his lovely smile or hear him laugh! Sometimes I try and fool myself into believing he's away working or on vacation, or just too busy too call. Silly isn't it! It was my job to keep him safe from harm! We all have down days Pat. ((hugs)) and best wishes. Caz. Scott's mom
From: Caz on 9 Jan 2008 12:27 donna wrote: > hi pat, > > good to see you; sad to see you ... you know what i mean. you are so > right ... random thoughts and no answers. i think of you and jenn > often, especially when i see flowers and crosses on poles or along > side the road. > > yesterday savannah turned 24 years old. it was another tough one, i > slept most of the day and night. that seems to be my escape now. > > give your grandsons a kiss for me my friend, > > donna > Hi Donna, Sometimes I can sleep all night and doze on and off throughout the day, but just lately I can't sleep worth a damn. I seem to be clock watching most of the night, then when I have to get up I drag myself out of bed and through the day. I don't know what to say Donna, I wished so much none of us had to be here. I would like to say it gets easier, but I can't. I think the numbness has just worn off. ((hugs)) and best wishes. Caz. Scott's mom
From: Lynn - Josh's Mom on 9 Jan 2008 20:56
On Jan 8, 9:44 pm, pcatal...(a)comcast.net wrote: > Hello old friends & welcome newcomers, sorry we have reason to be > here, but glad to have someone to talk to tonite. I'm just feeling > kinda down tonite, no particular reason though ( I mean today isn't an > anniversary or anything), just thinking about my Jenn & really missing > her company, her smile, I miss having another female around to talk > to, we had some interesting conversations. I am surrounded by males > (no offense guys) but all I have now is my husband, 2 sons, grandsons. > I love them all dearly but that sure makes me miss the times with my > daughter all that much more. Some days shes on my mind constantly, I > want to see her so much, have her here with me. I was looking at some > photos, she had such a pretty smile, beautiful long dark hair, & green > eyes, sort of like a cat that we have hanging around work. Sounds > weird, but the eyes are the same shade of green. I wonder if I'm > losing it sometimes, gets hard to concentrate on things, remember > things, get things done. But i guess I do have my, on the ball days > too, where all works out ok. Sometimes I can keep it all together, > other times well..........., I'm sure you all know what I mean. I > think about the rest of my life, being just like this, never seeing > her again, always the missing piece to my family puzzle, never to be > completed. Sorry for rambling, just a down evening for me, > random thoughts, no answers. Thanks for your patience & listening, & > being here, it helps. I remember once someone here, ( sorry for not > remembering who you are), mentioned writting a letter to their > deceased loved one, said it helped.Maybe I'll go try that, put things > on paper, it may help me too. I'll have all of you in my thoughts, > talk to you soon. Thanks again . Hugs for > all, > Pat Pat: So sorry you are feelings blue. I just don't think we ever get over the loss of our children. Even after 2 years, I find myself thinking "No it can't be that I will NEVER see him and talk to him again in this life"! Time passes so slow, once our fear of death is gone and we realize we will get to see our children in the afterlife. Pat, you never ramble - we are always here for you! I wish you a gentle day! Lynn Josh's Mom |