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From: Doug Laidlaw on 15 Oct 2007 22:46
I got a triple whammy.

I was a breech birth, which caused some kind of brain damage - "a slight
spasticity" was all that I was told, and that 20+ years later. Any damage
to the emotional areas of my brain, I will never know about. Any
spasticity is negligible, although I do have problems with co-ordination.

As a result, for 25 years I was under a neurologist who kept me on
phenobarb, notwithstanding its documented harmful side-effects.

Then, I inherited depression from my grandmother's family. I am researching
the family simply because of its human interest, but along the way I am
finding other cases. The 3 sons of the original immigrant self-medicated
with alcohol, and all drank themselves to death. My cousin had a real
battle with it. I have just been told of a person in another son's line
who had it badly during his teens.

To cap it all off, my father was of the old school who "didn't believe" in
depression, and kept exhorting me to "pull myself together", even when I
was facing ECT. (BTW, my pdoc tells me that a new form of ECT - pulsed, or
something - is now available.)

And I still say that I was one of the lucky ones. My wife's principal
bridesmaid has a daughter who was totally disabled by depression. She was
offered TCMS on an experimental basis - only a 60/40 chance promised - and
it worked. She went back into the workforce for 12 months before marrying.
She now has a husband and a baby. Her husband finds installing water tanks
more interesting than unpacking boxes. Even so, she is tired, but not
depressed. And look at the chap who wrote the Wikipedia book about
depression. Despite much dissuasion, he insists that he is typical. I am
among many who told him he is not. The picture he paints is much worse
than I am. (This was originally a 3-part article on kuro5hin.org.)

And me? I kept a fairly good if patchy employment record. I passed law
exams. Running my own business was what brought me down.

Now, at 65, I feel unable to be affectionate. I was bullied at school, and
may have learned to hold back. In my teens, when my contemporaries were
getting girl-conscious, I had not the slightest interest in them - I
expected to remain a bachelor. I did marry, but still have problems
expressing affection.

Also on kuro5hin.org, a man with schizophrenia explains that one of its
symptoms is inability to be affectionate. He describes how he finds his
outlet in writing, but he has a wife. He must be able to give her enough
affection to keep her happy - or at least, enough that she hasn't got up
and left. I feel similar, but I don't have schiziphrenia.

So for me, life is just "blah". I am retired and living in a retirement
village with a lot of activities, but they seem to be distractions only. I
recall one day in my life that was perfectly normal, just after I changed
to my present meds. That is a recognized phenomenon, and has a name -
Bipolar III. I thought that not having experienced a normal day, I would
not recognize one, but this was definitely IT. It lasted till bedtime.

Doug.
From: Nom dePlume on 16 Oct 2007 22:36
"Doug Laidlaw" <doug(a)dougshost.invalid> wrote in message
news:b8ldu4-ag8.ln1(a)dougshost.douglaidlaw.net...
> So for me, life is just "blah". I am retired and living in a retirement
> village with a lot of activities, but they seem to be distractions only.
> I
> recall one day in my life that was perfectly normal, just after I changed
> to my present meds. That is a recognized phenomenon, and has a name -
> Bipolar III. I thought that not having experienced a normal day, I would
> not recognize one, but this was definitely IT. It lasted till bedtime.
>
> Doug.

I'm sorry, Doug. I wish life were better for you.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.

Find my book, Medicines for Mental health, and free drug information, at
www.mentalmeds.org

=====


From: Nom dePlume on 17 Oct 2007 02:27
"Nom dePlume" <nomdeplume1000(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ff3sei01qhd(a)news2.newsguy.com...
> I'm sorry, Doug. I wish life were better for you.

Adding a P.S: You know where to find me, if you want to talk about trying
new medications.

--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.

Find my book, Medicines for Mental health, and free drug information, at
www.mentalmeds.org

=====


From: Trevor on 17 Oct 2007 16:42
In some ways I can relate. A dad telling me to pull up my socks or I will
give you.... when I was in the pit of depression has a young teen. On top
of that I put up with daily emotional and physical abuse at school for four
years and sexual during one of them. Now I have no balance and they do not
know why. They tell me it is real (like I want to lie about it and get my
divers lic suspended) but don't know why. It has left me unable to work in
my field of study and because of some bad financial decisons on my part no
going back to univiersity which I loved (even at forty). Now I face the
prospect of dying alone after all ready loosing one true love.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Doug Laidlaw" <doug(a)dougshost.invalid>
Newsgroups: alt.support.depression.recovery
Sent: Monday, October 15, 2007 10:46 PM
Subject: Depression and Affection? (Venting.)


>I got a triple whammy.
>
> I was a breech birth, which caused some kind of brain damage - "a slight
> spasticity" was all that I was told, and that 20+ years later. Any damage
> to the emotional areas of my brain, I will never know about. Any
> spasticity is negligible, although I do have problems with co-ordination.
>
> As a result, for 25 years I was under a neurologist who kept me on
> phenobarb, notwithstanding its documented harmful side-effects.
>
> Then, I inherited depression from my grandmother's family. I am
> researching
> the family simply because of its human interest, but along the way I am
> finding other cases. The 3 sons of the original immigrant self-medicated
> with alcohol, and all drank themselves to death. My cousin had a real
> battle with it. I have just been told of a person in another son's line
> who had it badly during his teens.
>
> To cap it all off, my father was of the old school who "didn't believe" in
> depression, and kept exhorting me to "pull myself together", even when I
> was facing ECT. (BTW, my pdoc tells me that a new form of ECT - pulsed,
> or
> something - is now available.)
>
> And I still say that I was one of the lucky ones. My wife's principal
> bridesmaid has a daughter who was totally disabled by depression. She was
> offered TCMS on an experimental basis - only a 60/40 chance promised - and
> it worked. She went back into the workforce for 12 months before
> marrying.
> She now has a husband and a baby. Her husband finds installing water
> tanks
> more interesting than unpacking boxes. Even so, she is tired, but not
> depressed. And look at the chap who wrote the Wikipedia book about
> depression. Despite much dissuasion, he insists that he is typical. I am
> among many who told him he is not. The picture he paints is much worse
> than I am. (This was originally a 3-part article on kuro5hin.org.)
>
> And me? I kept a fairly good if patchy employment record. I passed law
> exams. Running my own business was what brought me down.
>
> Now, at 65, I feel unable to be affectionate. I was bullied at school,
> and
> may have learned to hold back. In my teens, when my contemporaries were
> getting girl-conscious, I had not the slightest interest in them - I
> expected to remain a bachelor. I did marry, but still have problems
> expressing affection.
>
> Also on kuro5hin.org, a man with schizophrenia explains that one of its
> symptoms is inability to be affectionate. He describes how he finds his
> outlet in writing, but he has a wife. He must be able to give her enough
> affection to keep her happy - or at least, enough that she hasn't got up
> and left. I feel similar, but I don't have schiziphrenia.
>
> So for me, life is just "blah". I am retired and living in a retirement
> village with a lot of activities, but they seem to be distractions only.
> I
> recall one day in my life that was perfectly normal, just after I changed
> to my present meds. That is a recognized phenomenon, and has a name -
> Bipolar III. I thought that not having experienced a normal day, I would
> not recognize one, but this was definitely IT. It lasted till bedtime.
>
> Doug.

"Doug Laidlaw" <doug(a)dougshost.invalid> wrote in message
news:b8ldu4-ag8.ln1(a)dougshost.douglaidlaw.net...
>I got a triple whammy.
>
> I was a breech birth, which caused some kind of brain damage - "a slight
> spasticity" was all that I was told, and that 20+ years later. Any damage
> to the emotional areas of my brain, I will never know about. Any
> spasticity is negligible, although I do have problems with co-ordination.
>
> As a result, for 25 years I was under a neurologist who kept me on
> phenobarb, notwithstanding its documented harmful side-effects.
>
> Then, I inherited depression from my grandmother's family. I am
> researching
> the family simply because of its human interest, but along the way I am
> finding other cases. The 3 sons of the original immigrant self-medicated
> with alcohol, and all drank themselves to death. My cousin had a real
> battle with it. I have just been told of a person in another son's line
> who had it badly during his teens.
>
> To cap it all off, my father was of the old school who "didn't believe" in
> depression, and kept exhorting me to "pull myself together", even when I
> was facing ECT. (BTW, my pdoc tells me that a new form of ECT - pulsed,
> or
> something - is now available.)
>
> And I still say that I was one of the lucky ones. My wife's principal
> bridesmaid has a daughter who was totally disabled by depression. She was
> offered TCMS on an experimental basis - only a 60/40 chance promised - and
> it worked. She went back into the workforce for 12 months before
> marrying.
> She now has a husband and a baby. Her husband finds installing water
> tanks
> more interesting than unpacking boxes. Even so, she is tired, but not
> depressed. And look at the chap who wrote the Wikipedia book about
> depression. Despite much dissuasion, he insists that he is typical. I am
> among many who told him he is not. The picture he paints is much worse
> than I am. (This was originally a 3-part article on kuro5hin.org.)
>
> And me? I kept a fairly good if patchy employment record. I passed law
> exams. Running my own business was what brought me down.
>
> Now, at 65, I feel unable to be affectionate. I was bullied at school,
> and
> may have learned to hold back. In my teens, when my contemporaries were
> getting girl-conscious, I had not the slightest interest in them - I
> expected to remain a bachelor. I did marry, but still have problems
> expressing affection.
>
> Also on kuro5hin.org, a man with schizophrenia explains that one of its
> symptoms is inability to be affectionate. He describes how he finds his
> outlet in writing, but he has a wife. He must be able to give her enough
> affection to keep her happy - or at least, enough that she hasn't got up
> and left. I feel similar, but I don't have schiziphrenia.
>
> So for me, life is just "blah". I am retired and living in a retirement
> village with a lot of activities, but they seem to be distractions only.
> I
> recall one day in my life that was perfectly normal, just after I changed
> to my present meds. That is a recognized phenomenon, and has a name -
> Bipolar III. I thought that not having experienced a normal day, I would
> not recognize one, but this was definitely IT. It lasted till bedtime.
>
> Doug.


From: Doug Laidlaw on 18 Oct 2007 05:31
Nom dePlume wrote:

> "Nom dePlume" <nomdeplume1000(a)yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:ff3sei01qhd(a)news2.newsguy.com...
>> I'm sorry, Doug. I wish life were better for you.
>
> Adding a P.S: You know where to find me, if you want to talk about trying
> new medications.
>
I know, but here it isn't practical.

We have a comprehensive pharmaceutical benefits scheme, but must produce a
prescription. Everybody, doctors and pharmacists, has a number issued by
the Government. Prescription medicines entering the country from overseas
stand a good chance of being stopped by Customs.

One woman was found a few years back, who had hoarded $40,000 worth of meds.
Whether that was in cost to her (currently AUD $30 a throw) or in real cost
to the Govt I don't recall. The full cost of my Efexor is $45 a box. Some
anti-cancer drugs cost the Govt thousands. The system threatens to break
down soon.

I saw the FDA's concern about Vicodin, which contains an opiate and
definitely should not be used without a script, but the U.S. system has got
too out of hand to regulate effectively. (Vicodin isn't available here,
and welbutrin is available only for quitting smoking.) Originally, online
pharmacies asked for a script. Then they said "We have a doctor who will
write a script." Now they don't bother about a script at all. They know
that the FDA would take years to get around to stopping them. And if they
kill somebody in the meantime...?

Here paracetamol (acetaminophen or similar in the U.S) in packs of more than
24 tablets is available only from pharmacies. With additives, it is
available only after seeing a registered pharmacist personally or on
prescription, depending on strength.

My wife is a pharmacist, and I can't take any risks which might affect her
right to registration. I was in a vet's once when a woman came in about
her dog. The vet knew exactly what to give her, but refused to do it
without seeing the dog because it was prescription only, and the law
required him to do that. Humans are entitled to that standard, at the very
least.

Doug.
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