Can't you see I'm busy?
in [Grief]
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From: Daniel on 15 Nov 2007 13:42 So you want me to go to work in the morning. But all I can think of today is how much I miss my mom, my dad, my friends. You expect me to get up and get dressed and act like I'm not grieving. Can't you see I'm busy? You want me to respond to you with something other than a blank expression. You expect me to have an answer to a question that has nothing to do with the fact that death has taken those I love. Do you really think I'm going to remember what I did yesterday, when I would much rather keep my thoughts in years ago, before death intruded on my life, before everything came crashing down? Yet you want me to go through the motions here and now. Can't you see I'm busy? You want me to care about news or sports or gossip or some such trash that's here today gone tomorrow -- when my heart and mind are oh so full of those who were here but now are gone forever! Can't you see I'm busy? You really have the expectation that I am going to smile and gawk and prattle about The Holidays and behave oh so politely and talk oh so happily and dress oh so nicely -- you expect that even though you know (or have you forgotten like everyone else) that I am grieving (oh, right -- I'm supposed to be "over it"). You want me to decorate visit chat shop bake clean decorate some more . . . and you want it *when*?! Can't you see I'm busy grieving?! -- Daniel ( deltaechomike(a)usa.net )
From: Crystal's mom on 15 Nov 2007 19:40 On Nov 15, 12:42 pm, Daniel <deltaechom...(a)usa.net> wrote: > So you want me to go to work in the morning. But all I can think of > today is how much I miss my mom, my dad, my friends. You expect me to > get up and get dressed and act like I'm not grieving. > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You want me to respond to you with something other than a blank > expression. You expect me to have an answer to a question that has > nothing to do with the fact that death has taken those I love. Do you > really think I'm going to remember what I did yesterday, when I would > much rather keep my thoughts in years ago, before death intruded on my > life, before everything came crashing down? Yet you want me to go > through the motions here and now. > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You want me to care about news or sports or gossip or some such trash > that's here today gone tomorrow -- when my heart and mind are oh so > full of those who were here but now are gone forever! > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You really have the expectation that I am going to smile and gawk and > prattle about The Holidays and behave oh so politely and talk oh so > happily and dress oh so nicely -- you expect that even though you know > (or have you forgotten like everyone else) that I am grieving (oh, > right -- I'm supposed to be "over it"). You want me to decorate visit > chat shop bake clean decorate some more . . . and you want it *when*?! > > Can't you see I'm busy grieving?! > -- > Daniel ( deltaechom...(a)usa.net ) Oh my goodness Daniel, that made me want to copy it and post it on my locker at work! You see, I'm not supposed to talk about MY child and her death...it upsets people, so I post poems on my locker. I have the Mr. Hallmark poem and several others to try to let them know how HARD it is to be in my shoes! I don't want to be in my shoes! Thank you for writing what I feel, Amanda...Crystal's mom
From: Cindy's Mom on 16 Nov 2007 10:28 On Nov 15, 11:42 am, Daniel <deltaechom...(a)usa.net> wrote: > So you want me to go to work in the morning. But all I can think of > today is how much I miss my mom, my dad, my friends. You expect me to > get up and get dressed and act like I'm not grieving. > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You want me to respond to you with something other than a blank > expression. You expect me to have an answer to a question that has > nothing to do with the fact that death has taken those I love. Do you > really think I'm going to remember what I did yesterday, when I would > much rather keep my thoughts in years ago, before death intruded on my > life, before everything came crashing down? Yet you want me to go > through the motions here and now. > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You want me to care about news or sports or gossip or some such trash > that's here today gone tomorrow -- when my heart and mind are oh so > full of those who were here but now are gone forever! > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > You really have the expectation that I am going to smile and gawk and > prattle about The Holidays and behave oh so politely and talk oh so > happily and dress oh so nicely -- you expect that even though you know > (or have you forgotten like everyone else) that I am grieving (oh, > right -- I'm supposed to be "over it"). You want me to decorate visit > chat shop bake clean decorate some more . . . and you want it *when*?! > > Can't you see I'm busy grieving?! > -- > Daniel ( deltaechom...(a)usa.net ) Daniel..once again something that you posted seems like it was written just for me or perhaps all of "us" who are so mourning the loss of our beloved ones that have gone to the other side. I so like the last part that talks about the polite chatter we are suppose to make. It is just impossbile to for people to understand how much our lives have changed since our loved ones are no longer with us. I wish I could be normal and "happy" again, but I feel I will never get over my daughter not being with me. I am glad for the memories I have of her but just can't accept the fact that she is still not here to share in the cooking for Thanksgiving or the tree trimming for Christmas. We are truly the walking wounded and I now realize a year after her passing that I will never be the same, that part of me,my happy and carefree part, died with her. I can try to put on "apperances" but it is just so difficult and takes so much out of us. Sad that the holidays use to be something I so looked forward to and now they are something I just so dread and can manage to just get through. ((((HUGS)))) to all of us that are grieving and suffering this awful emotinal pain. Judy, Cindy's MOM
From: tj on 19 Nov 2007 09:18 On Nov 16, 9:28 am, "Cindy's Mom" <jehedgec...(a)qwest.net> wrote: > On Nov 15, 11:42 am, Daniel <deltaechom...(a)usa.net> wrote: > > > > > > > So you want me to go to work in the morning. But all I can think of > > today is how much I miss my mom, my dad, my friends. You expect me to > > get up and get dressed and act like I'm not grieving. > > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > > You want me to respond to you with something other than a blank > > expression. You expect me to have an answer to a question that has > > nothing to do with the fact that death has taken those I love. Do you > > really think I'm going to remember what I did yesterday, when I would > > much rather keep my thoughts in years ago, before death intruded on my > > life, before everything came crashing down? Yet you want me to go > > through the motions here and now. > > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > > You want me to care about news or sports or gossip or some such trash > > that's here today gone tomorrow -- when my heart and mind are oh so > > full of those who were here but now are gone forever! > > > Can't you see I'm busy? > > > You really have the expectation that I am going to smile and gawk and > > prattle about The Holidays and behave oh so politely and talk oh so > > happily and dress oh so nicely -- you expect that even though you know > > (or have you forgotten like everyone else) that I am grieving (oh, > > right -- I'm supposed to be "over it"). You want me to decorate visit > > chat shop bake clean decorate some more . . . and you want it *when*?! > > > Can't you see I'm busy grieving?! > > -- > > Daniel ( deltaechom...(a)usa.net ) > > Daniel..once again something that you posted seems like it was written > just for me or perhaps all of "us" who are so mourning the loss of our > beloved ones that have gone to the other side. I so like the last part > that talks about the polite chatter we are suppose to make. It is just > impossbile to for people to understand how much our lives have changed > since our loved ones are no longer with us. I wish I could be normal > and "happy" again, but I feel I will never get over my daughter not > being with me. I am glad for the memories I have of her but just can't > accept the fact that she is still not here to share in the cooking for > Thanksgiving or the tree trimming for Christmas. We are truly the > walking wounded and I now realize a year after her passing that I will > never be the same, that part of me,my happy and carefree part, died > with her. I can try to put on "apperances" but it is just so difficult > and takes so much out of us. Sad that the holidays use to be something > I so looked forward to and now they are something I just so dread and > can manage to just get through. ((((HUGS)))) to all of us that are > grieving and suffering this awful emotinal pain. Judy, Cindy's MOM- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - Perfect, perfect, perfect. BUT , I do remember a few people at work who lost a child. I am not sure, oh gosh, I am sure, I had NO IDEA of the full extent of their pain. I mean it never goes away. I do remember thta we all did just let the person grieve and at least we were smart enough to not get upset with them. Some folks were better at dealing with the person than others so that person got that unhappy duty, usually me. I was older than alot of the others, her child was kidnapped and murdered. I just used to listen to her talk, talk, talk. I am very gratefull now that I was able to help her. Trish
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