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From: Penny on 28 Nov 2005 16:40
Thank-you for the feedback from everyone. Making an informed decision
when it comes to joint custody can be difficult when you have a
parent that refuses to cooperate in what may be in the best interest
of the child.

How would anyone make an informed decision without prior
knowledge-whethor that be a medical, dental or other? The
orthodontist didn't even have the accurate information to make an
informed decision in our case.

I question those of you whom assume without asking the appropriate
questions in order to make an informed decision yourselves.

From: W_B on 28 Nov 2005 17:21
On Mon, 28 Nov 2005 15:40:14 -0600, daleypenny(a)yahoo-dot-com.no-spam.invalid (Penny) wrote:

>I question those of you whom assume without asking the appropriate
>questions in order to make an informed decision yourselves.


I question why you came to SMD for legal advice.
--

W_B
Take out the G'RBAGE
wubbabubbazG(a)RBAGEyahoo.com
From: Tony Bad on 28 Nov 2005 18:53

"Penny" <daleypenny(a)yahoo-dot-com.no-spam.invalid> wrote in message
news:i4KdnciSV72j5BbeRVn_vQ(a)giganews.com...
> Thank-you for the feedback from everyone. Making an informed decision
> when it comes to joint custody can be difficult when you have a
> parent that refuses to cooperate in what may be in the best interest
> of the child.
>
> How would anyone make an informed decision without prior
> knowledge-whethor that be a medical, dental or other? The
> orthodontist didn't even have the accurate information to make an
> informed decision in our case.
>
> I question those of you whom assume without asking the appropriate
> questions in order to make an informed decision yourselves.
>

What questions should we have asked? I think I fully understand the
situation. Your ex and his girlfriend initiated care without your consent
and you are angry. Is that correct? I am just puzzled why you seem to have
an issue with the dentist. You seem to be taking issue with the actions of a
provider who acted in good faith when your real beef should be with your
ex...who, from your version, did NOT act in good faith...making a decision
that should have been one you both made. I can well understand there are
great difficulties in such relationships, but blaming a dentist (which is
what I seemed to get from your original post) because your spouse acted
irresponsibly is not fair.

T


From: Stovepipe on 28 Nov 2005 23:18
Penny <daleypenny(a)yahoo-dot-com.no-spam.invalid> wrote:

> How would anyone make an informed decision without priorknowledge-whethor
that be a medical, dental or other?

See, Penny? The lawyer is still running your decision making process.
SP
--
Take out the TRAASH to reply
From: Webby on 29 Nov 2005 12:26
Penny wrote:

"I question those of you whom assume without asking the appropriate
questions in order to make an informed decision yourselves."

And I am replying with:

I may have missed this information somewhere inside the thread. I
apologize for not reading carefully enough, if that is the case. I
have a few questions about this matter.

To Penny:

1. Did you and your ex-husband have a plan for managing your
daughter's dental and medical needs while you were married?

2. Did the two of you discuss the idea of "orthodontic care" for her at
some point in her life?

3. Is this treatment plan something your daughter wanted to do?

4. Is this treatment plan something that was initiated against your
daughter's wishes?

5. Has your daughter complained about being taken to a dentist by her
father's girlfriend?

6. If you were still married to your ex-husband, would your daughter be
under the care of an orthodontist today? Would you and her father be
in agreement about the treatment if married?

Orthodontic care is ordinarily considered elective. It is my opinion,
as a parent of two grown children, that orthodontics is an emotionally
based therapeutic in many cases. There are kids who *beg* to get their
teeth straightened to perfection and there are kids who *beg* not to
have this done "for" them. If you don't have a cooperative patient,
orthodontic care can be a nightmare for the patient. The adolescent is
complex. It is generally a good time to learn to pick your battles
carefully.

As the saying goes, "I'm here and you're there." My gut feeling is
that the child wanted the orthodontic care and willingly went to the
dentist with her father's girlfriend. I have trouble imagining the
woman dragging a screaming 13 year old into an orthodontist's office
and emerging with a mouth full of "stuff" screaming "take it off!!! I
didn't agree to this!!!" Yet, a stoic child might be feeling this way
in spite of outward appearances. The patient's wishes; the patient
being a 13 year old girl, should be taken very seriously yet I don't
have any sense that all of this is about the child's wishes. And as I
wrote, maybe I missed this information ...

If the family didn't communicate when together, they may not do any
better of a job when divorce is the outcome. What is in the best
interest of the child may not be what will happen with this young girl.
She may well grow up in a war zone because some people will not put
their child first. I'm not saying this is the case, I am saying that
there are plenty of cases out there where this is the case and the
outcome paints a sad image in my mind.

Webby

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