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From: Bumper in AZ on 21 Jun 2006 18:06
It's been 4 months and 5 days since my only child, Doug, died, today
would of been his birthday.

Sunday, June 21,1964, at 6:36 a.m. my tiny baby boy was born, 4 lbs, 3
ozs, 16 inches long, 7 1/2 weeks early. I got a quick look at him and he
was whisked away... he was in an Isolette for 3 days, an incubator for 2
days, then a bassinet till he was 18 days old.

In those days they thought they were doing right by not letting anyone,
not even Mommy, care for a premature baby,only the nurses were allowed
in the nursery. I can tell you they were wrong... a baby needs his Mommy
from the very first second of birth.

I was crying when the nurse came in Tuesday morning, she ask what was
wrong, I told her I wanted to hold my baby, she left with a tear in her
eye. This being a very strict,by the rules OB ward nurse. A little while
later she came back, she had called Dr.Weber, he had given permission
for me to hold my son.

I got to hold Doug for 10 minutes, he was 2 days old, I got to hug and
kiss him, to say "I love you, I'm your Mommy".

I watched the nurses hold my child, rock my child, feed my child and my
heart was breaking so bad to do all that for my child. A wall with a
window between us,,,,,,

Everyday I would go to the hospital and stand in front of the nursery
window, watch as the other babies were taken to their Mommy's to be feed
and held, and cry a river of tears.

I had just turned 16, I was a Mommy, but my arms were so empty. Waiting
for my son and me to start our life's journey of growing up together...

When he weighed 5 lbs I was so excited, he could come home, but, no, one
more day the doctor said, I cried so hard ...

The next morning Doug got to come home, 18 days old, 5 lbs,2 ozs, 18
inches, I finally got to take him in my arms and kiss him and love him
and not have to look through a window crying.

Now 42 years ago today, our journey through life ended at 41 years,7
months and 26 days, February 16,2006. No 10 minutes to say goodbye,
again the empty arms and a hurting heart.

I am crying a river of tears again for the want of my child, wanting to
hold my son, wanting to hear his voice,wanting to see his face... I feel
like I am still looking through that window, again my child is out of my
reach.......

Now it's God's window to the heavens I look to... I only see the blue
sky, the stars at night, no tiny baby waiting to come home, no grown man
who made the journey through life with me, and knowing it will be much
longer then 18 days to ever hold my child again. My heart hurts
so.........

Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven my son, I will love you forever.
Your Momma, Jean-AZ

From: Daniel on 22 Jun 2006 19:31
On Wed, 21 Jun 2006 15:06:49 -0700, bumperjean(a)webtv.net (Bumper in
AZ) wrote:

>It's been 4 months and 5 days since my only child, Doug, died, today
>would of been his birthday. . . .
> . . .
> . . . My heart hurts
>so.........
>
>Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven my son, I will love you forever.
>Your Momma, Jean-AZ

Oh, Jean, I'm sorry. Those "special" days can all be really hard.
Every single thing during the first year is full of hooks and knives
that re-open the wounds. Thinking of you and Doug.

Thank you for sharing your son with me.

Peace,
--
Daniel ( deltaechomike(a)usa.net )

--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

From: Mandy on 1 Jul 2006 07:29
Hi,

I've lost my son 2 and a half weeks ago. My heart is breaking. I'm so
sorry for your loss. My son was 3 years and 4 days old and always a
healthy happy chap. It appears he had a virus that attacked his heart,
at first he got croup which responded to medication, but 24 hours later
he died of sudden cardiac death. It was so fast. It just feels the
wrong way round that parents should bury their children. If you want to
talk, anytime...

From: donna on 1 Jul 2006 12:12

Bumper in AZ wrote:
> It's been 4 months and 5 days since my only child, Doug, died, today
> would of been his birthday.
>
dear bumper, i am sorry i did not see your post or i would have
responded earlier.

the pain of losing a child goes almost beyond words or description. we
lose not only our past and present, but our future also. my
grandparents, parents and brother and sister have gone before me and
the pain was terrible but it isn't in the same category as the loss of
a child.

deeply sorry for your loss,

donna

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