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From: Noon Cat Nick on 16 Mar 2008 18:40
My life isn't going well.

My mother died in September 2006.

After that, my father was incapacitated. Both his hip sockets were shot,
and needed replacing. I spent the next nine months being his sole
caretaker, as none of his other kids wanted to help him at all.

In June of last year, I was feeling stressed and despondent. (I suffer
from manic depression.) So someone I'd known online for years invited me
to stay with her for a week in Victoria, British Columbia. I took the
bus, it being the cheapest form of transportation. After I got there on
a Friday, I was still feeling very low; my host sensed it, and it was
hard on her. That Sunday I was very depressed, and ended up taking a
five-hour nap that afternoon. When I woke up, I found out she'd thought
for some reason I'd tried to kill myself, and she was a nervous wreck.
Then she told me I had to leave immediately; no second chance. I
couldn't make an exchange on my return trip ticket, so I had to buy a
new one, which took all the rest of my money. I didn't eat for the
entire four-day bus trip. And I barely slept. The shock of the whole
thing had thrown me into trauma. When I got home, my father made sure to
tell me it was all my fault, and that I chose to be traumatized.

Two weeks later I started a new job. It only lasted a little more than
two days. I had to quit because I was having panic attacks and
dissociation, and couldn't do the work.

By Labor Day I was a non-functional wreck. So my father had me taken by
ambulance to the nearest psychiatric hospital. I still can't pay a dime
of the various bills I accrued during my stay, and I was no better after
I got out than I was when I went in.

December I got a good job as a customer service rep. It lasted six
weeks. I got the flu, and was termed for missing too much work.

Two years ago I had a close friendship with someone I'd worked with on
stage musicals at a local community theater. Suddenly, she decided she
couldn't stand me, wanted nothing to do with me, and refused to say why.
I e-mailed her three times, asking her to work things out, or at least
to tell me what I'd done. The next thing I know, I'm being interviewed
by a pair of police detectives, telling me if I contact her again I'll
be charged with cyberharrassment. Eventually I found out she then went
around telling people I had a restraining order against me, among other
untrue and defaming rumors. I'm now barred from the local community
theater scene because of this, so I've learned. Two weeks ago the
previously mentioned musical theater asked for help with the box office.
I called the person in charge, said I'd like to help, was told I'd be
contacted, then heard nothing more - although I spoke with several
people who were assigned to work box office and who'd volunteered after
I had. Last week I auditioned for a show at another community theater; I
was turned down, and learned shortly thereafter that I wasn't cast
because of all the things being said about me at the other theater. I
also made three calls to someone at a third venue offering to work on
shows there this summer; he's never called back. I guess that part of my
life is gone now.

I'm 48. I live with my father. I'm unemployed. My mother is gone. This
is my life today.

And I still miss Bijou, Simba, and Christian.

Leo is the sole joy in my life. Unfortunately, he doesn't take to other
cats, so he's my sole companion anymore. And if he died today, that
would be it for me. I can't afford to adopt again. So I try as best I
can to savor each moment he and I have together.

Once upon a time, this group was something I treasured for years,
something that meant a great deal to me. Now it, too, is gone, apparently.

One never gets used to feeling sad. But when sadness goes on too long,
one doesn't know what to do when happiness finally comes along.

All I know is that I'm 48, I live with my father, I'm unemployed, I'm
destitute, my mother is gone, Simba is gone, Christian is gone, Bijou is
gone, my RL friends and associates are gone, alt.support.grief.pet-loss
is gone, and I'm worse off now than I was the day I was born.
From: Durga (Linda) on 16 Mar 2008 21:06
On Mar 16, 6:40 pm, Noon Cat Nick <chatdemidiSPAMBEG...(a)hotmail.com>
wrote:
> My life isn't going well.
>
> My mother died in September 2006.
>
> After that, my father was incapacitated. Both his hip sockets were shot,
> and needed replacing. I spent the next nine months being his sole
> caretaker, as none of his other kids wanted to help him at all.
>
> In June of last year, I was feeling stressed and despondent. (I suffer
> from manic depression.) So someone I'd known online for years invited me
> to stay with her for a week in Victoria, British Columbia. I took the
> bus, it being the cheapest form of transportation. After I got there on
> a Friday, I was still feeling very low; my host sensed it, and it was
> hard on her. That Sunday I was very depressed, and ended up taking a
> five-hour nap that afternoon. When I woke up, I found out she'd thought
> for some reason I'd tried to kill myself, and she was a nervous wreck.
> Then she told me I had to leave immediately; no second chance. I
> couldn't make an exchange on my return trip ticket, so I had to buy a
> new one, which took all the rest of my money. I didn't eat for the
> entire four-day bus trip. And I barely slept. The shock of the whole
> thing had thrown me into trauma. When I got home, my father made sure to
> tell me it was all my fault, and that I chose to be traumatized.
>
> Two weeks later I started a new job. It only lasted a little more than
> two days. I had to quit because I was having panic attacks and
> dissociation, and couldn't do the work.
>
> By Labor Day I was a non-functional wreck. So my father had me taken by
> ambulance to the nearest psychiatric hospital. I still can't pay a dime
> of the various bills I accrued during my stay, and I was no better after
> I got out than I was when I went in.
>
> December I got a good job as a customer service rep. It lasted six
> weeks. I got the flu, and was termed for missing too much work.
>
> Two years ago I had a close friendship with someone I'd worked with on
> stage musicals at a local community theater. Suddenly, she decided she
> couldn't stand me, wanted nothing to do with me, and refused to say why.
> I e-mailed her three times, asking her to work things out, or at least
> to tell me what I'd done. The next thing I know, I'm being interviewed
> by a pair of police detectives, telling me if I contact her again I'll
> be charged with cyberharrassment. Eventually I found out she then went
> around telling people I had a restraining order against me, among other
> untrue and defaming rumors. I'm now barred from the local community
> theater scene because of this, so I've learned. Two weeks ago the
> previously mentioned musical theater asked for help with the box office.
> I called the person in charge, said I'd like to help, was told I'd be
> contacted, then heard nothing more - although I spoke with several
> people who were assigned to work box office and who'd volunteered after
> I had. Last week I auditioned for a show at another community theater; I
> was turned down, and learned shortly thereafter that I wasn't cast
> because of all the things being said about me at the other theater. I
> also made three calls to someone at a third venue offering to work on
> shows there this summer; he's never called back. I guess that part of my
> life is gone now.
>
> I'm 48. I live with my father. I'm unemployed. My mother is gone. This
> is my life today.
>
> And I still miss Bijou, Simba, and Christian.
>
> Leo is the sole joy in my life. Unfortunately, he doesn't take to other
> cats, so he's my sole companion anymore. And if he died today, that
> would be it for me. I can't afford to adopt again. So I try as best I
> can to savor each moment he and I have together.
>
> Once upon a time, this group was something I treasured for years,
> something that meant a great deal to me. Now it, too, is gone, apparently.
>
> One never gets used to feeling sad. But when sadness goes on too long,
> one doesn't know what to do when happiness finally comes along.
>
> All I know is that I'm 48, I live with my father, I'm unemployed, I'm
> destitute, my mother is gone, Simba is gone, Christian is gone, Bijou is
> gone, my RL friends and associates are gone, alt.support.grief.pet-loss
> is gone, and I'm worse off now than I was the day I was born.

It sounds like your having a hard time right now, Nick. It's the worst
time of year for it too. Just remember that spring is coming soon, and
you do still have Leo. Give Leo a hug and scratches and let him take
care of you for a little while. I'm sure he knows your feeling down.
(((Nick))) From Linda
From: Noon Cat Nick on 18 Mar 2008 12:29
Durga (Linda) wrote:

>
>
> It sounds like your having a hard time right now, Nick. It's the worst
> time of year for it too. Just remember that spring is coming soon, and
> you do still have Leo. Give Leo a hug and scratches and let him take
> care of you for a little while. I'm sure he knows your feeling down.
> (((Nick))) From Linda

Thanks very much, Linda. No matter how low one may feel, just a kind
word can help a lot. Yours did. Take care.
From: Durga (Linda) on 18 Mar 2008 21:21
On Mar 18, 12:29 pm, Noon Cat Nick <chatdemidiSPAMBEG...(a)hotmail.com>
wrote:
> Durga (Linda) wrote:
>
> > It sounds like your having a hard time right now, Nick. It's the worst
> > time of year for it too. Just remember that spring is coming soon, and
> > you do still have Leo. Give Leo a hug and scratches and let him take
> > care of you for a little while. I'm sure he knows your feeling down.
> > (((Nick))) From Linda
>
> Thanks very much, Linda. No matter how low one may feel, just a kind
> word can help a lot. Yours did. Take care.

Your welcome, as I try to type with 2 full size cats laying between my
and my keyboard, LOL. I know, just hang in there.
I'm in here everyday, just checking just in case theres a real post. I
use Google Groups.
From: Noon Cat Nick on 18 Mar 2008 22:32
Durga (Linda) wrote:

> On Mar 18, 12:29 pm, Noon Cat Nick <chatdemidiSPAMBEG...(a)hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>>Durga (Linda) wrote:
>>
>>
>>>It sounds like your having a hard time right now, Nick. It's the worst
>>>time of year for it too. Just remember that spring is coming soon, and
>>>you do still have Leo. Give Leo a hug and scratches and let him take
>>>care of you for a little while. I'm sure he knows your feeling down.
>>>(((Nick))) From Linda
>>
>>Thanks very much, Linda. No matter how low one may feel, just a kind
>>word can help a lot. Yours did. Take care.
>
>
> Your welcome, as I try to type with 2 full size cats laying between my
> and my keyboard, LOL. I know, just hang in there.
> I'm in here everyday, just checking just in case theres a real post. I
> use Google Groups.

Me, I'm posting a little here. Maybe if I plant some seeds, the group
will slowly reactivate. One can only try.
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