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From: SportsBookJunkie on 21 Nov 2007 12:54
Some background,

I'm 47, married for 16 years, raised two step sons and bio son.

Stepsons are now 19 and 22. Last year, the 19 year old step son moved
in from father's house in another state. I was not involved in this
decision, nor was I told about it until he showed up. Step son is
working at a local gym as a desk monitor. He thinks he's a trainer,
but he never attempted to pass certification.

Over the last year, step son moved in a male body builder friend that
he met from work. Step son wanted to get into body building and this
24 yo friend was going to be his "coach". Again, I was not consulted
or asked how I felt about it. Friend slept in upstairs hallway on a
cot. Friend was only supposed to be living with us for a month while
he "got on his feet". The month stretched into EIGHT months. I
repeatedly asked for the friend to move out, only to have mom and son
over ride the decision by saying that he had no where to go.

During the eight months, no rent, no money towards food, he did clean
up but the 19 year old treated the friend like a personal slave since
he was "letting" him live in the house. 19 year old does absolutely
nothing to help maintain household. No cleaning, leaves messes, room
is a filthy mess, cooks and expects someone else to clean, overdraws
checking account and expects mom to fix, gets mom to buy booze, gives
booze to underage friends who get drunk and sleep on the couch.

Last week, live-in friend and 19 yo had a drunk argument and fight,
which resulted in 19 yo telling friend to get out of house. Friend was
ejected INSTANTLY with no thoughts as to where friend would go and
live and how he would live. You can understand how that left me
feeling and finding out who is making the actual decisions in the
house.

I've about had enough. I've tried to talk to my partner about this but
all I get is that this is her baby and if he wants to live here
forever, that's the decision. Part of this stems from her losing
custody when he was 14. She feels guilty that she couldn't "protect"
him from the "evil" bio father.

All I get is that I'm over-reacting and expecting too much from 19 yo.
When I look into the future, all I see is this kid making min wage at
this gym while I continue to clean up after him and pretend to have a
marriage. I'm two steps from moving out, not sleeping, partner and I
barely talk while stepson struts around and tells his friends that he
is the "alpha male" in his house.

I know this is a kinda long post, but I'm really at wits end.

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